If you are anti cc or CIO what do you do when your baby wont GO TO SLEEP?

[Sunshine200]

It just makes me want to scream! Dd is 9 months and very bad as self settling. 9 times out of 10 I feed her to sleep in the evening. Not really intentionally as she just falls asleep. The other times though... She is too heavy to rock to sleep as it would take ages. I also have a 2 year old to get to bed so can't really be in her room for ages.

Tonight for example my 2 year old kept going into the baby's room whilst I was feeding her so then baby wanted to play rather than sleep. It took 1.5 hours in the end (even though she was tired).

So what do you do if you don't want to leave them to cry? Do you just stay in their room with them whilst they cry, or do you rock them until they eventually drop off? Even if I stay in her room she still cries.

Genuine question as I'm sure you aren't all standing in a room screaming with frustration!

I fed to sleep until she was a bit past three, now we just snuggle to sleep.

I put the younger one on my back while putting the older one to bed and did a bit of housework until he was asleep and then put him down

On your back? In some sort of sling I assume?! Baby is usually tired first as she is only having 2 naps now. she is a stubborn little monkey I'd be surprised if that worked.

I like the idea of feeding/ rocking/ snuggling to sleep but as she is going through separation anxiety too it means that I can't leave her as she creates merry hell with anyone else (breastfeeding and she doesn't like the bottle/cup).

Feed to sleep, sling to sleep or keep her up and try again lTer.

If she fights sleep it's usually from overtiredness and I've missed her sleep window.

Gradual retreat or a reassuring pat on the bum

I was exactly the same, I wouldn't leave my DS to CIO or do CC. he used to be fed to sleep until I stopped BF at 8.5 months. he would then have a bottle and get rocked to sleep while patting and shushing. he got way to heavy though and a rocking chair definitely saved my back! used to take about 3/4 mins yo get him off to sleep. now I given him the bottle and lay him in his cot and off he goes

I did pick up/put down and patted/sshed in the cot until he could fall asleep by himself.

at that age? I continued to feed to sleep, rocking, singing or carried him about.
I remember a lot of furious rocking in my arms until he went to sleep then trying to get my arm out from underneath him so I could go downstairs.

Now at 3.5? I feed to sleep, read to him, lie in bed, get him back up and do something more interesting. It's a lot harder.

I found I was getting stressed because my little girl (13 months) was taking so long to self settle to sleep - she wanted to play, to cuddle, to get up, to collapse down, to wriggle here, wriggle there and if I left her then there would definitely be shouts and tears. I started to dread evenings. So I stopped and decided to cuddle and hum her to sleep.
Do you know what it usually takes 5 mins for her to calm down in my arms and then I might hold her for between another 5 and 15 minutes for her to drop into a deep enough sleep that I can then place her in the cot.
Its not perfect - if she's overstimulated or teething or poorly then it can still take a very long time but most of the time it works.
I am aware that most people would use the phrase 'rod for my own back' but I've decided that half an hour of lovely snuggly time each night with my daughter is something I'm prepared to do. And if I am still doing it at 2/3/4/5 years old then maybe I can live with it.
(Although maybe I am lucky in that once asleep she's not always waking up and needing the same cuddle process. If there is a bit of stirring I can go in and just pat and hum and she's back asleep as usually she's not really woken up properly)
I was worried that she's not self settling but once I let go of the notion that its something that has to happen our family life dramatically improved.

At that age I was still bf to sleep, but as they got a bit older (somewhere between 12 and 18 months) I would sit with them while they went to sleep. With DS I just had to sit there, DD required back patting until she dropped off.

By 2 yrs with DS and 3yrs with DD they were both going off to sleep by themselves.

I don't regret the time I/DH spent with them now (although at the time it used to drive us a bit crazy)