Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Sleep

Join our Sleep forum for tips on creating a sleep routine for your baby or toddler. Need more advice on your childs development? Sign up to our Ages and Stages newsletter here.

Original poster

Is it time to get rid of the dummy?????????

32 replies

Ozzie · 30/03/2004 11:13

My DD is 4.5 months and her sleeping is getting worse. She has been getting in the habit of waking every 45 mins to an hour during the night and she goes back to sleep as soon as she gets her dummy back. My first intinct is to take the dummy away and endure a few nights of crying and hopefully she will manae to get herself back to sleep. I'm worried thogh that she is too young and I'm being cruel. I don't know what to do for the best. Any advice would be gratefully received.

OP posts:
twiglett · 30/03/2004 11:17

message withdrawn

kiwisbird · 30/03/2004 11:19

yep agreed
We never used the dummy at night or in the cot and dd found thumb at 6 mths and now happily uses that...

Original poster
Ozzie · 30/03/2004 11:21

thanks twiglet

i know its the right thing to do just need someone to agree. How long did your ds cry for just a few days i'm hoping for.

OP posts:
Original poster
Ozzie · 30/03/2004 11:24

kiwisbird

dd is looking tired now so it is goodbye dummy. I really wish i had never gavve her one in the first place,

OP posts:
bundle · 30/03/2004 11:52

why do you want to take away her dummy?

Chandra · 30/03/2004 12:14

I agree with you Ozzie, I wish I had never used them, we had to say good bye to the dummy when he was 6m because of severe eczema around the mouth and he cried for about a week (more than the people told me he was going to), and started demanded another "sucking device" to go to sleep (yes, a bottle which given time ruined his feeding pattern and has caused some delays in the introduction of finger food) so... agree with the rest, get rid of is as soon as you can

motherinferior · 30/03/2004 12:16

Bundle, we took my baby's away because we were sooooooo sleep deprived. Worried like mad but quite honestly I was also starting to worry I'd end up hitting the kids.

bundle · 30/03/2004 12:27

that's interesting MI, I suppose my 2 haven't been that dummy-dependent, ie they comfort them but they don't 'have' to have them to get to sleep and most nights they toss them onto the floor & don't wake up when they're not sucking. It might have something to do with the fact that they didn't have a dummy till they were quite old - 9 or 10 mths

Original poster
Ozzie · 30/03/2004 12:39

Bundle

I'm so sleep deprived as dd needs dummy back every 45 mins or so. I was happy for her to have a dummy just not happy to get out of bed every 45 mins or so.

OP posts:
frogs · 30/03/2004 12:44

Yeah, I had exactly this with dd1, and went cold turkey. We had a few rotten nights, but she found her thumb pretty quickly. With ds I saw the problem coming, and removed the dummy once he could get his fingers into his mouth. He at the same age became attached to a baby shawl which is still his cuddly blanket. I'm planning to do the same with dd2 (3 months) although she doesn't actually fall asleep with the dummy in her mouth, so it probably won't be as bad.

You might want to try taking it away for the daytime sleeps or early evening sleep before the middle of the night ones, as it's always easier to stick to your principles if you're not desparate to get back to sleep!

I agree with other posters that the longer you leave it, the worse it'll be. Good luck!

samwifewithkid · 30/03/2004 13:38

excuse my ignorance, but why are most people here anti dummys?

Isn't sucking a thumb worse for the teeth, my friends little girl has pulled both her front teeth forward by sucking her thumb.

Just wondering?

aloha · 30/03/2004 13:43

You could teach her to put it back herself. We did this with ds. We bought a dummy clip and attached it to his jumper, and he had to get it and put it in himself - we pointed out where it was. He got the hang of it very, very quickly, and now if he feels the need for it in the night, pops it back in himself and never disturbs us.

frogs · 30/03/2004 18:36

Advantage of thumb is that even a four-month old can find her own thumb in the middle of the night, whereas she wouldn't be able to put her own dummy back in, as Ozzie has found out.

Mine have all been v. sucky, and the choice was for me to wake up every hour all night to put the dummy back in or them learning to suck their own thumb/fingers and going back to sleep by them selves.

Something of a no-brainer, no?

aloha · 30/03/2004 18:50

a four month old can put their own dummy back in, honest. Mine did. And he's extremely un-dextrous. It is possible. Also mine could cry at night with his dummy firmly IN. This is also possible

samwifewithkid · 30/03/2004 23:25

no one has answered about the teeth issue?

At least a dummy can be taken away, if used correctly. Can't do that with a hand!

mears · 30/03/2004 23:39

samwifewithkid - the dummy versus thumb issue about teeth is not clear cut. Sucking a thumb does not mean that the top eeth will be pulled forward though it can happen. I have had 3 thumb suckers and a dummy sucker. The dummy went at 8 months whereas the thumb sucking went on much longer. I for one preferred the thumb sucking because they could get it easily by themselves as and when required. The only one with teeth problems was the dummy sucker but that was due to the bottom teeth rubbing away the top ones die to jaw alignment as a toddler. Problem now resolved. None of the thumb suckers have 'buck teeth'.

kiwicath · 31/03/2004 08:58

I'm one of 7 and was the only one who continued to suck thumb (until 12 and needed braces) BUT the others also needed braces and weren't thumb suckers or dummy suckers - go figure??? Bucked teeth must simply run in the family. I avoided dummies with my little one and he effectively found his thumb at 8 weeks. Only sucks when hungry or tired and takes himself off to sleep without a problem. Have never seen him asleep with his thumb in - must slip out mid slumber. We haven't quite got to the 4.5 month mark yet but my thought Ozzie would be to remove dummy at night. No experience to back that up - simply what I would do in your situation. What ever you decide though - stick with it. If you start popping it back in one time then taking it away the next I can imagine a whole new set of probs will occur. Good luck

FairyMum · 31/03/2004 09:20

Some babies need to suck to go to sleep or generally have a need to suck. We had the same thing with mine, but only lasted a short while until they could find the dummy themselves. Agree with Aloha is not certain that they won't wake just because you take away the dummy. My personal feeling about the dummy vs. Thumb debate is that dummies are easier to get rid of when you really want them to give up and you can take them away in public. Not so with a thumb. I also find dummies much more hygienic. I think the impact on teeth is individual too.

kiwisbird · 31/03/2004 09:28

me adn my siblings all sucked thumbs until 12 yrs old, my youngest sucked until late teens - he had orthodonty as he had a mishaped jaw but the rest of us have perfect teeth, I cannot explain why I prefer thumb over dummy, I just do, its there it.s skin and it's theirs, they control it, I think thats important

AND I have never had to run into a bedroom to shover her thumb back in to get some sleep!

bundle · 31/03/2004 10:02

when sil was in Germany, they were v pro-dummy to the point of almost taking your child's thumb out of its mouth & thrusting a dummy in (!)
personally I can't stand seeing a child with a dummy in all day, hate the way it affects speech, so dds only have theirs at sleep time or if poorly/on long car journey. I agree that thumb looks/is more 'natural' but someone in my office is a thumb sucker (in her 30s) and I'm sure she'd rather she wasn't...

kiwisbird · 31/03/2004 10:07

actually my SIL did say she had caught my brother with his thumb in his mouth asleep last year before his final Economics exams in his post grad degree...
He's 27 LOL and the one with the brace...
He hooks his index finger round the bridge of his nose this adds much more pressure than the average sucker apparently!

samwifewithkid · 31/03/2004 12:59

I agree bundle, I can't stand to see a toddler with a dummy in the whole day, but if used correctly they can be a great idea. My dd has a dummy, but she only uses it for sleep times, and wouldn't even ask for it in the day. I've always made sure that the dummies I have bought have been as natural as possible, or match the pale colours she wears. (when she was younger) They were kept very clean. To be honest I think I would have gone insane if it hadn't have been for a dummy. It was my lifesaver when my 3 week old baby was screaming in the night. What with post natal problems and hormones, the last thing I needed was a manic baby.

But I suppose it's horses for courses.

Heathcliffscathy · 31/03/2004 13:10

my dentist told me that dummys were fine teeth/wise (orthodontic ones that is) until the age of 3 at which point should be taken away...when i looked at him and asked how the hell you're meant to do that he told me about his little one who was totally dummy addicted (like maggie from the simpsons: ie constant) and that for a few days before they were going to remove the dummy (at the age of 3) they told him that the dummy fairies were coming to take his dummies and give them to smaller children who needed them and that they were going to swap them for a present...by the end of the few days he (the little boy) was asking when the fairies would come (he wanted his pressie) and reliquished dummy (in return for gift) with no protest!!! this doesn't solve the falling out of mouth at night conundrum, but thought it might be of interest??

aloha · 31/03/2004 13:58

I have to laugh at the idea that a dummy doesn't belong to the baby or isn't in their control - you tell my ds that as he grabs it with a triumphant 'MINE!" swirls it around pops in and out, looks at the picture on the front etc etc And I actually prefer the look of a dummy to thumbsucking which makes me shudder slightly, esp on much older children, but each to their own, I suppose.

aloha · 31/03/2004 14:23

I'm really talking about kids who are older and such their thumbs all day not babies.

Swipe left for the next trending thread