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Sleep Regression Part 3 (one step forward, ten steps back...)

15 replies

ellie3009 · 06/07/2014 20:13

Well the other thread reached 1000 messages and ended, so I thought I would start a new one.

I certainly haven't got past the regression and could still use some moral support and a place to vent my spleen after a bad night. OH says he is fed up with me complaining about lack of sleep. I did point out that it is more than a year since I had an unbroken night, and that I have been averaging 4-5 hours sleep a night for 2 months...

So last week I thought we had got over the sleep regression, on 4 nights baby slept from bedtime until 5ish, then went back down for another hour or two after a feed. Hooray, I thought. But alas, my joy was short lived.

Friday night he woke every 1-2 hours, and the same again last night. Tonight he has just woken 45mins after being put to bed, so I guess we are in for the same again. He is defo NOT waking hungry, but his poor little body is trying to practise crawling around the cot in between sleep cycles and he can't get himself back to sleep again.

The really rubbish thing, is that if OH goes in to try and soothe him, he just screams until I go in. He doesn't want a feed, just apparently only my cuddles will do. Which is very sweet but rather annoying when it's the 4th get-up of the night

How are the rest of the babies doing since the end of the other thread?

OP posts:
mrsmugoo · 06/07/2014 20:27

Marking my place...

I've had some bad nights and a couple of good nights. I've gone cold turkey on putting DS down asleep now and instead he's going down drowsy and has found his fingers to self settle. I could cry with happiness at this development.

I'm debating with myself what to do at night about the frequent wakings - do I just boob to sleep for ease? Or sacrifice even more precious sleep to try to resettle without feeding?

ellie3009 · 06/07/2014 21:11

That sounds promising mrsmugoo. Perhaps that will help him to get back to sleep on his own when he wakes.

I had the same debate about boobing back to sleep. Up until 4 months I just assumed he was waking due to hunger. It was only when he started doing longer stretches and then went back to frequent waking that it occurred to me that maybe he wasn't hungry.

Now that DS has done a few 8 hour stretches, I have settled on a policy of, if it's only a few hours since he last fed, try to settle him without a feed and if after 15 mins it seems to be working, keep going, if not, feed him and resettle. This way I at least give it a go, but neither of us lose too much sleep if it doesn't work.

OP posts:
ellie3009 · 07/07/2014 09:35

Oh god, it goes from bad to worse. Last night baby slept in blocks of:
45 mins,
2 hours,
30 mins, (then up for an hour)
2 hours (then up for an hour and a half)
3 hours

unsurprisingly I am pretty tired. OH tried to settle him when he woke 30mins after I put him down. 10 mins in he was wailing as usual so I had to go and sort him out, yet again. I got cross with OH for being useless at this point and made him defrost some of my BM stash so he could do the next wakeup with a bottle.

He is not waking from hunger - on 3 of the wakeups I managed to put him back to sleep by soothing in his cot, didn't even pick him up.

I am also tired of being told by OH's family that DS's cousin (now 10 months) has been sleeping 7-7 since she was 4.5months old. All on her own. ARRRRGGGGHHHHH.

OP posts:
mrsmugoo · 07/07/2014 09:48

Ellie I have the opposite problem! My SIL has a 6 month old who is still not sleeping at night, waking 4-5 times and not self soothing. I'm getting judgey comments implying that I'm doing things too early and expecting too much from him at such an early age compared to DN.

ellie3009 · 07/07/2014 10:07

It's tough when family get involved isn't it!
Had it from my own parents at the weekend - he was overdue a feed but not making a fuss due to his 3 y.o cousin tearing about and entertaining him. Tried to take him off my mum to feed and she said "oh but he doesn't look hungry, he's not crying". Attempted to explain that if I skip a daytime feed that means he'll replace it during the night, so rather avoid that, but it fell on deaf ears.

Had the same issue trying to put him down for bed. Oh, he's not crying, he must not be tired. WTF???

OP posts:
ellie3009 · 08/07/2014 08:05

Well if Sunday night was bad to worse, last night was worse to worst possible.
Up every 45 mins until 1am. Slept almost 3 hours. Up every 45 mins until 6.45.

I.am.destroyed. Every time I put him back to sleep, I had only just gone back to sleep myself and he woke again.

I keep telling myself that this is a phase but it doesn't really help. Sat here crying into my coffee because I feel like a zombie.

OP posts:
mrsmugoo · 08/07/2014 12:17

Yeah I had a pretty dreadful night and to top it all off I'm having real trouble sleeping when I do get the opportunity :(

I slept 9-11, he fell asleep at 12 so then I slept til 2 then I didn't manage to get back to sleep and he was already awake again at 5 and hadn't gone back to sleep by 6. So I got 4 broken hours sleep all night and was awake 2-6. I also feel like crying. I wish someone could help me. I feel so isolated and almost feel myself slipping into the beginning of depression. I don't want to get dressed or leave the house.

ellie3009 · 08/07/2014 12:23

Do you have any family around to help out? Maybe they could take baby out in the pram for a couple of hours so you can catch up on sleep.

I understand exactly what you mean, I feel like that some days too. I also struggle with getting back to sleep myself. I have just emailed Nelsons homeopathic pharmacy to see if they can recommend something for me, and also for baby.

OP posts:
mrsmugoo · 08/07/2014 13:13

I do have family but they don't live close enough for spontaneous visits. My parents come fortnightly my MIL comes usually once a week. I think she's coming Friday this week. I will definitely take advantage her her being here. Usually DS need feeding under 2 hours so instead of sleeping I take a leisurely bath or something as I struggle so much to sleep in the middle of the day and she usually likes to leave by 4 which is just when I'd love to take a nap.

Tiredemma · 09/07/2014 20:54

Im back.

Its worse than ever.

I think I got two hours sleep last night- DD is 10 months old now. What is going on????

CuteLittleToes · 10/07/2014 17:31

Really sorry everyone who is having rubbish nights. I didn't post for a while as I've been away visiting my parents so didn't have much time.

I am scared I will jinx it but it looks like we've cracked it.

I can't remember when I've last posted, but long story short:

I've night weaned and went cold turkey on co-sleeping about a month ago when DS was 6.5 mo. Within a week after that DS made 6h stretch, then 5h, then 4-5h stretch most nights. He would still wake up more frequently towards the morning, but it was taking less and less time to get him back to sleep. Naps got much better too, most days he would do 1-2h, when it used to be 30 mins before.

So things were improving in general. Then about 10 days ago he made 8h stretch. After that nothing spectacular until we came back last Sunday.

When we came back DS went into his own room. First night was horrible. Up multiple times, and in spite of going to bed at 9.30pm he was up for the day at 5.30. I was trying to get him back to sleep till 7am until I realised it was pointless.

Second night - he slept through 7.30-5.30. Then I persuaded him to go back to sleep for another hour. When he woke up again, I took him to my bed, fed and we dozed for another hour.

Third night - down at 9pm, quick wake up at 1am, then slept till 6.30!

Fourth night (last night) - down at 9pm, slept till 6.20! Managed to get him to sleep till 7.30 after that!

I really hope we've cracked it. I'll be lurking about still...

Brew and Cake for everyone!

mushforbrain · 10/07/2014 20:58

hi all, well my DD's sleep regression started at 13 weeks. I was told by an experienced midwife and mum of 3 that it was a 'textbook regression' - DD was sleeping through at 8 weeks, then one day woke up an hour earlier than normal, the next day, another hour earlier, and to my horror, this continued until she was waking at 1am. But also, every single hour after that.
At that point, she required no effort to resettle, just dummy back in. But still, it was tough. I would just be dropping back into a deep sleep and boom, on the hour. I googled 'sleep regression' endlessly and couldn't believe that it might last 6 weeks, I couldnt handle the thought of even one more night of it. Anyway, cut forward nearly 3 months and I was still there.

Except it had gotten worse - resettling was getting harder and harder, and the wakings were getting earlier and earlier, and more frequent, sometimes every ten minutes for hours on end.

I could be heard several times a night saying 'I am literally going to kill myself' except someone would have actually had to murder me because I did not have the energy to commit suicide.

I found out one night that if I brought DD into bed with me, she would sleep pretty much straight through. What a dilemma. As much as I loved waking up and seeing her gorgeous face next to me, I didnt really sleep, I just dozed as was petrified of all of the various co sleeping risks, and my clumsy oaf of a OH. But it got to the point where I just had no energy at night to even try resettling her in her cot especially as I knew that once i brought her into bed, it would be easy until the morning.

I was so miserable with it, and it all came to a head just under two weeks ago when I was at a bbq and couldn't focus on having conversations with people because my eyes were stinging so badly, and my OH sat miserable in the corner nursing a headache. I was speaking to an old school friend who has a 9 year old son and she was sympathising, and said that all her sleep worries were solved when she did CIO at 7.5 months. 13 minutes of crying, one night. She said that those were the 13 longest minutes but it worked.
I got home and just decided I'd had enough. I had reached rock bottom. I couldn't do CIO, I couldn't cope with the thought of DD believing I'd abandoned her, so decided to do a 'gentle' version of CC, setting my minutes to 2, 4, 6, 8, and 10.
First night, she woke as predicted at 11pm, (which had become the worst period to try and resettle her) i left it 2 minutes, went in, 'ssh, ssh', dummy in, back on side. She started to cry again, 4 minutes then the same. She slept until 2am. I could have shouted from the rooftops when i woke and realised the time. I had not slept for more than 2 hours in a row in over a month. The next part was harder as it took 1hr50 mins. I don't know what happened but i was just like a robot. I think i was at such a desperate point, and I knew that i was doing it for both of us, we would both benefit from her being able to settle herself more easily and from her sleeping in her own cot (never mind my marriage) Also, i actually listened to her cry, and she wasn't upset, she wasn't terrified, she was just peed off.
Anyway, the next time she woke me up, it was 730am. Since then, I've never had to go past 6 minutes. She is waking up once, maybe twice a night, but i just put dummy back in and she's gone until the morning.
I also dropped her night feed. She is FF, and I just knew that she didn't really need it.

Anyway, I know it doesn't work for all babies, I know not everyone agrees with it, but I just wanted to share my 'solution' to the sleep regression (touch wood, touch wood, touch wood!)

Good luck to you all. Good job they're cute, hey.

FrankelandFilly · 11/07/2014 09:44

Can I join? DD is 4 months old (17w4d) and is about a week in to the 4 month sleep regression. It took me a few days to realise what was going on as she had her 16wk vaccinations last week and I originally thought her disturbed sleep was down to that, but it's kept going! She's waking multiple times a night, sometimes just fussing quietly and other times she'll cry for a few seconds. A quick "shhh" and popping her dummy back in is enough to resettle her but it's so often!

I'm on my own at the moment as DH is in Afghanistan until October, so there's no one to share the burden with. My parents live 200 miles away so are only visiting once a month, they were up a few days before the sleep regression started typically!

I know there's not much I can do about it all right now, I'm just trying to ride it out in the hope that it will get better as quickly as it appeared! Unfortunately day time naps are a bit of a disaster too, but they've always been that way - she rarely naps for more than 45 minutes at a time. I've been reading the Sleep Lady website and there are lots of useful hints and tips on there so I may start following them if this goes on much longer!

Cakeismymaster · 11/07/2014 23:48

Hello again to emma
Worse than ever here too, last night I was actually up all night
How was my 4 month regression lasted 6 months?!

Mirrhi · 14/07/2014 14:01

Afternoon all, still here too Sad No change at with nights, but some improvement with naps. DS never slept more than 30 mins at a time unless I managed to resettle him as soon as he woke so a couple of weeks ago I started to put him on the bed and lie down next to him so I could instantly shush him when he stirred. Halfof me thought it could make things worse in that he would decide he couldn't sleep without me there, but at least it got him to sleep longer and also forced me to have a lie down too!
Result is he seems to have gradually got used to sleeping longer and doesn't need resettling at 30 mins, and it doesn't seem to matter now if I'm there or not. Yay!
Now just to sort the nights....

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