Any advice for daytime naps?

[highlove]

I am going slightly nuts trying to get my four month old to sleep during the day.

I'm lucky she's a pretty good sleeper at night, generally off by 8pm though it can take an hour of feeding (EBF) and walking before I get her off. She had to go down asleep. She'll usually wake once or twice soon after and won't self-settle but will go off fairly easily when we go in. She feeds 2-3 times overnight, usually nodding off on the boob and easy to transfer to her crib by the bed. Up for the day around 8ish.

Daytimes - just a bloody nightmare. I try watching for cues, don't know if I'm missing them or what. She won't sleep for more than 25 mins in the crib, rarely longer in the buggy (and she won't always go off in the buggy). I might get longer out of her in the sling but not before a good few mins hysterical screaming first, and we have to be out the house so not always practical. I have to put her down asleep in the crib (night and day) and she can't ever self-settle, hence short naps. I spend sodding hours each day trying to get her off but if she's had two hours in total by bedtime then that's a miracle day. Today it took me near on three hours to achieve a 25 minute nap, her having been put down asleep five times but waking either instantly or within five minutes. Of course by the end she'd been awake almost five hours and was horrendously over-tired so just made it harder and harder.

I feel like a shit mum. My other mum friends talk about 60 or 90 minute naps which they achieve each day at least once and I just want to cry. To my shame it just makes me feel cross with her - I try incredibly hard not to let it show but she must pick up on it. I get nothing done and it's just like Groundhog Day trying to settle her and failing.

Any sdvice at all - I'm beyond the end of my tether.

God I can't even imagine how hard it would be with a toddler too!

My DS's 40 minute naps have suddenly decreased to 30 minutes. Yesterday he took two 30 minutes in his cot and 30 minutes in the pushchair after I went out for an hour and a half in the rain to get him to sheep grrrrr!

Sheep - sleep haha!

Just looking in on this thread and laughing to myself.

We've just been to a music class and dd has fallen asleep, so I'm sitting outside my house mumsnetting

I'll do anything to get her to sleep during the day!

Another one here! Seven month old DS catnapper since 8 weeks old. I keep waiting for the naps to improve like everyone says they do, but nope. I get the odd hour long nap once in a blue moon but that's about it.

The cat napping used to drive me up the wall. I tried to accept it and on some day it works and some it doesn't.

Here are the things that helped me cope.

Pram naps. DS hated the pram but when he was about 3 months was ok in it. For many weeks he would stare into the pram roof and look at the labels or patters and not sleep. But! At around 13 weeks i discovered that if I took him for a walk around 40-50
Mins after he last woke he would fall asleep. This was such a revelation and a relief as previously I was doing the same as you - bf and rocking for hours.

I did about 5 walks per day in those early days and it worked 90% of the time. Just has to get the wake time right. DS's sleepy cues were very unreliable

Then, once he got used to sleeping alone in the pram, and he was about 16 weeks, I started getting him to fall asleep on his own in the cot. I did this for the first nap only at the start, doing walks for other naps. It was tough but not nearly as tough as I expected.

I didn't do shush patting and pick up put down as DS used to hate it and it would make him cry louder. I did a nap routine (as pps said above) and then placed him awake in the cot holding one hand on his chest. He cried at first but within a few days the cry went from waaaaaaaaah to wah...wah... Meh...meeeeh (falls asleep). I roughly followed the Sleep Lady and the Pantley books. If he didn't fall asleep within 20 min, Into the pram and off for a walk.

Did this for bedtime too. It all took a while and there are still days where he doesn't fall asleep (if he is over tired) but most days I can at least get a 30 min break to have a coffee

My DD was a cat-napper until a out 10/11 months when she suddenly started having a 2-2.5 hour nap at lunch time. It was quite strange.

I could have written your post two months ago! I was also going potty with my baby who would nap, but not for more than 35 mins. At the 35 minute mark his eyes pinged open every time and NOTHING I did could convince him to sleep longer.

But He is now routinely doing a 90min morning nap, and as I write he is 75mins into his second nap today. This is a new one though, he has only done a longer second nap a couple of times.

I tried doing wake-to-sleep (where you disturb them 10mins before their normal wake-time to restart the sleep-cycle) and sat next to cot in the dark, playing white noise and jiggling the mattress if he stirred.
He will now do the 90min on his own without any input from me.

I have done nothing for the longer second nap, he is extending that one on his own.

There is hope. But seriously, try wake-to-sleep.

Oh I didnt realise you had a toddler too, that must make it so mych harder. Today ds has reminded me just how frustrating it is by waking after only 20 minutes causing me to burn my apple crumble filling which I had spent those 20 minutes preparing.
Another thing which helped me was to go by the clock and start a nap time routine before he was ready for a nap, hes very alert and it takes him a long time to wind down, if I walk him in the pushchair it takes at least 30 minures for him to drop off. So I would take him into the dark bedroom with white noise or music, read a short story give him a gentle massage and just cuddle for 5 minutes by which time he would start to show he was tierd.

It's so good to know I'm not alone with a terrible cat-nappet. We've actually achieved four naps today and the longest was 50 mins in the sling - that is nothing short of a miracle but probably only because she has a really bad night last night. (Having barely slept all day yesterday.)

Anyway, today I've bought blackout stuff as I managed to get her off in the spare room which has blackout curtains. Of course she woke the second I tried to go to another room, but it's a start. Also she slept in the car which is unusual - she usually just screams hysterically - but I times it two hours after her last little nap. At the moment I can live with the short sleeps, I just need to get her to sleep at all. Am thinking that if I can get her consistently doing a few short naps each day, then I can worry about making them longer!!

I really struggle with cues. I watch for yawning but she often does it really soon after waking. I think she's probably constantly a bit over-tired. Will try looking out for the glazed expression and not making eye contact.

Might this be the four month regression? She's definitely getting worse.

I totally take my hat off to anyone who has a toddler as well - you deserve a medal!

Today I've achieved a measly two x 30 minute naps down in his cot and abandoned ship on a third as he just wouldn't drop off.

I have had to go cold turkey on "parenting" him to sleep altogether, so now he goes down in his cot and has to drop off by himself. He achieved it for the first nap but it took ages. Second one I took him out after an hour of on and off crying and fed him again to calm him and then lifted him in 90% asleep and he dropped off the rest of the way.

I guess he was overtired by the third nap but what can I do?? When he was taking all his naps in my arms I would get him to sleep 4 or sometimes 5 times a day but now he's having to self settle it takes so long he's having so much less sleep.

My, now 14 month old, was exactly the same. She slept for 30mins at at time and it was a massive struggle to get her off to sleep. It improved massively at around 5-6 months along with the introduction of a dummy. Once her daytime naps improved (usually 1-1.5 hrs twice a day) she began to wake less over night too- especially during the first hour after going down.
Things that helped before the good napping started- a quick feed 1.5 hrs after waking to help her drop off, letting her nap on my bed, putting her down on her tummy (supervised) and blackout blinds.

Ear pulling, eye rubbing, grumpiness! Cues for sleep, that is. And rubbing head against you, or whatever she's lying on.

Ugh, awful night and she woke toddler up at five. She is 13 weeks..could we be starting the 4 month regression early? I think DS started at 3.5 months but he was a bit overdue whereas she was early.

We're in the same boat! My DS managed a total of 25 minutes today, 10 mins first time and 15 mins second time. My first DS was exactly the same and I promised myself I wouldn't get obsessed about it this time but I am! it's hard when you know a good sleep would sort out the grumpiness but they just don't get it! One thing I've found is that he'll sleep when I least expect it like when we had a load of people round for my birthday, he just fell asleep on my knee without me even noticing and did the same when I was out at toddler group the other day. I was even able to just lay him down on the carpet without him stirring which is unheard of! It's almost as if he can sense the pressure to fall asleep and when the pressure is off and I'm distracted he just dozes off! I'm pretty sure things improved with my first DS once he was about 6 months and then I could just rock him in his buggy in the kitchen and leave him there for naps which could last up to an hour. Hope things improve for you soon, hang in there!

I've only had a chance to skim what others have said - but short naps are very common, you're not doing anything wrong!

What was a godsend for us to know when to aim for sleep times was looking at how long DD had been awake since getting up / last nap. A friend sent me a chart with how long babies should be awake at each age - aim to be starting the wind down for sleep 15 mins before this time is up.

So at 3 months it's 1hr 30, 4 months 1hr 45 and at 5 months 2hrs awake. Also summarized here in this useful article: www.babysleepsite.com/schedules/baby-sleep-wake-time-formula/

Like I say, it really helped us - it's been pretty spot on (apart from gap after morning waking to first nap, that is often shorter), but we just had to wait to get past the 20/40 minute naps.

Thanks whizz. I do in fact do this. She can be awake for an hour and then will yawn. I anticipate and start winding her down but it's hard when I can't put her down upstairs in a quiet room as a. She won't stay asleep for more than ten minutes in the cot in the day and b. toddler is trying to play with me/ at my feet so I have now given in and she does all of her naps in the bouncy chair in the kitchen unless we are out. That's ok right? I figure get her into a nap routine first and then work on location.

I just never had these issues first time round.

I wouldn't worry at all at this stage about where she sleeps in the day - if it's easier in the bouncy chair just go with it! DD slept in a little napping crib thing in the living room with a snooze shade draped over the toy arm bit til she was too big to fit in it about 5/6 months old. As she was getting over the short nap phase she went in the cot and has done since & sleeps really well at nap times...

My 19 week old was a cat napper until a month ago. She only ever cat napped during the day, but from 6 weeks old was sleeping 8pm until 8 am without waking. I totally sympathise.

How the worm has turned! She now sleeps 10 am for an hour, and either 1-2 pm and 3.30-4.30, or else skip the lunchtime nap and sleep 2.30-4.30 ish. I find she naps best outside, in her pram, even in bad weather. We live in the country in a very safe place, so pram naps are easier than in many places.

BUT she now is a terrible sleeper overnight!

I read somewhere that babies are either good at sleeping during the day, or good at night; seldom both. That might be pants and i don't know if it makes me feel any better!

HANG IN THERE!

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