please come and talk to me about teaching a baby with eczema to self settle!! I am desperate for better sleep

[TiredFeet]

I have a 7.5 month old baby with eczema. The eczema is pretty well under control and we have followed a dietitian led weaning plan to spot allergens (so she is now wheat, dairy and soya free). However, she rubs and rubs at her skin if she's left alone (she has scratchsleeves but she can still rub herself raw on her cheek if she gets upset).

I am desperate for better sleep, I'm severely sleep deprived, she wakes hourly and has done for months. we've paid to see a sleep specialist, I've spoken to health visitor and gps. the advice is all the same, try and stop feeding her to sleep and teach her to self settle. but any method other than feeding/ rocking doesn't work, she just cries and cries and rubs away at her skin

has anyone got any good tricks up their sleeve?

Bumping, just in case someone somewhere has a tip that helps

Try acupressure to get her to fall asleep quickly and sleep deeper. Worked well for my DD who would get very up set if left alone to settle. Just build it into your bedtime routine - here's the technique if you're interested - mydaughterwontsleep.com/2013/12/27/the-sleep-inducing-power-of-acupressure/

Also I had good results with pure potions skin salvation good for eczema if you haven't found a good one yet. good luck

Thanks that sounds really interesting I'll have a read

Do you think it's the eczema that's waking her or she wakes and the eczema keeps her up? If it's the eczema then I'd be back at the Gp. TBH if rocking works I'd do that. Dummy? I've been using Aveeno Baby on DS (6months) skin and ,although it's a bit pricey it's really good- far better than the Diprobase the GP gave us.

If she's scratching then it isn't controlled properly.

Have you ruled out all dietary causes?

I know you won't want me to say this but imo all anyone can do with a baby is try to minimise the impact that frequent or persistent waking has on you.

In our case, I find that sharing my bed with the little one means they settle back to sleep far far easier than if I'm not beside them.

To the baby, your presence is required, and if you are there, they just sleep no question (as long as they are not in pain etc and even then they will normally give it a good shot)

if you aren't there, or they think you might not be there when they wake, they are far harder to settle.

If you have a way to settle her that works, then I would really advise sticking with that, and as an adjuvant, sleeping as close to her as you can so that a) she wakes less and b) you have less walking around to do when she does.

This is my angle on it in nearly every case, and it has worked supremely well with my three boys.

The modern, trendy tag line of 'train them to sleep without you' is all very well in theory but in practice most babies just want their mother close by as much as possible and it seems ridiculous to waste energy fighting this. I think along the lines of baby-led sleeping I suppose. I don't think it causes any more sleep loss than the training methods do and it's far less stressful and hard work. (for me)

'but any method other than feeding/ rocking doesn't work, she just cries and cries and rubs away at her skin'

You see, you've answered your own question

If it works - do it! There's no reason not to. It is probably your best chance of maximising sleep for all concerned.

iggly we are working with a dietitian and gps on her skin /diet but it feels like a long slog to find something that works

rooners I total agree with everything you say, and I fed her big brother to sleep till he was 14 months as that was what worked, but its just not working for either of us, she feeds to sleep but then wakes hourly. I find I never get into a deep enough sleep if I co sleep, and she still wakes just as frequently. I am so tired I started hallucinating and was suicidal (am seeing gp and have anti depressants now, but the lack of sleep is a big part of the problem). So feeding to sleep works to get her off to sleep but its not 'working' as quality of sleep is so poor. I don't want to let her cry, and can't as it would wreck her skin, but I do need to get her sleeping better (longer) somehow...

Oh I see what you mean. Sorry

Keeping them asleep is something I don't know how to help with. Mine have had the frequent waking when they're teething or have wind etc. but it's only lasted perhaps a few nights or maybe a week or two before another lull, if you see what I mean,

if it has gone on for months then perhaps something else is going on.

I hope you find a way to get through xx

Eczema is worse when it's warm, so maybe try putting her down to sleep with an electric fan near her? Combination of her skin not being too warm and the white noise might work?

TiredFeet I am in pretty much exactly the same situation with my 7m DS! Eczema baby, no sleep and anti depressants!

I was happy to feed and rock to sleep and then all of a sudden it just stopped working...he doesn't stay asleep anymore and usually wakes up as he is laid in the cot.

He sleeps in this which stops him attacking his face at night, he can just about rub his cheek but miles better than arms free.. It's only 0.2 tog so has been worn just with nappy in the warmer weather (he scratches his body if he gets arms out of the scratch sleeves inside the bag though, which is another story..) www.amazon.co.uk/ergoCocoon-Organic-Zip-up-Swaddle-Natural/dp/B004VO5DIK/ref=sr_1_2?s=baby&ie=UTF8&qid=1404228722&sr=1-2&keywords=ergococoon

I have started to let him fall asleep on his own in his cot (at least for the first few wake ups when I have enough energy)....if he cries I pick up till he stops and do anything and everything necessary to keep him happy/distracted when he's in the cot (even if it really wakes him up..have actually found waking him fully up and playing for a bit much better than those half awake cries that he starts with)...eventually he goes quiet and yawns..then peacefully drop so off to sleep. Sometimes takes up to 1hr but sometimes only 5 mins!

This has given 1.5-3 hr stretches...which is obviously really shit but better than the 30 min wake ups we were having. And I am praying they start to lengthen.. Also going to attempt some gradual retreat when he seems to have the hang of it. He ends up in bed with me after a few wake ups and I feed regularly til we get up.

Honestly the bag is my saviour, it's stretchy so he can roll around and move his arms and get comfy, and I leave him in it in the morning for as long as poss so I know he's safe from scratching while I get ready!

Please keep posting I'm so interested to hear if you find anything that works.

How did you get a dietician involved? I have mentioned it to my GP but they didn't seem to have a clue.

Sorry for the essay

hubb no need to apologise that was really helpful you clearly get exactly what I am going through! Will look into the bag that sounds worth a try

My older son has severe allergies (diagnosed after he had an anaphylactic reaction on weaning!) So this time round we were told first sign of eczema and get gp to refer her for pre weaning allergy tests. Last time gp's all last at suggestion of allergies, until my sons anaphylactic reaction... Its very frustrating how out dated their knowledge is

Have you ruled out tongue tie? And do you wind after each feed? Mine needed winding after each feed for a long time.

My DCs had intolerances and were very sensitive to other foods as well until at least 18 months. So no onions, windy veg (eg brassicas and green peas - once I gave ds peas at tea and he was up all night!), nothing spicy etc.

Also have you ruled out eggs? And your washing powder? Mine reacted to nearly everything including stuff for sensitive skin. Ecover is the only powder they're OK with

We don't have eggs as ds is allergic and I already use ecover
I do wind her but it doesn't seem to be a massive issue with her, its definitely the itchy skin bothering her

Again and again friends etc in real life when I ask how to settle a baby they say they all resorted to some form of controlled crying but I just can't see how that could work with an eczema baby, she'd rub herself raw!

Hiya, I am going through the EXACT same with my 9 month old. It's been going on for 3 months and I am reaching a tipping point.

How did you get on in the end??

Thanks

Umm. .I don't want to fill you with despair but it took ages! I think getting her allergies/eczema controlled was key..once her skin was clear she slept better. In the end I just co-slept with her till she was 3ish.

She's 9 now and happily goes to sleep without me after a story and a kiss , but she does still expect a "sleepover party" once a fortnight where I sleep on a mattress on her floor

She was a tough one though as she seemed to react to most of the eczema creams. My son's we got under control much more swiftly.

Hopefully someone will come along with more helpful advice - I remember how utterly desperate and sleep deprived I was and you have all my sympathy.