catch 22.... who do I listen to

[lemondriz]

Wed 25-Jun-14 08:40:43
Dd is nearly 9 months shy of a couple of days... And I can't find a way of getting her to sleep without her screaming she used to just whimper a little and then drop off but wake would wake upto every hour to feed so we did some sleep training at around 6 months to get her to sleep longer at night and feed more in the day but she is so distracted she will only feed when she is asleep so I feed her
6pm bed time will fall asleep if I try feeding her before her bath she won't.feed at all. If I wake her after she screams
9.30/10pm
4am
5pm she then wakes to get up still really tired and when I.have tried to.sleep train her back to sleep she sleeps for only 10/20mins and wakes up still
exhausted.
She will have a few little feeds in yhe morning until midday but then nothing until 6pm although I always offer

I have kept the 10pm and 4am feeds in otherwise she wouldn't get any really good feeds.at all here she will feed for around 30-45mins in the day it's 5mins at a time

She will only feed well if asleep but won't always feed To sleep if she is not hungry she will.bite me
If I try rocking her she gets angry kicks and wriggles scratches. And does.the same.to dh..
It has been weeks now and is still screaming as soon as she is.put.down she always falls asleep in less than 30 mins usually around 10-15 mins and I.check.her Every 5 and kiss her and say our bed.time.phrase but.I.feel like she is just crying too much as this is everytime

Spoke to la leche earlier she said keep feeding through the night she needs the brain power.. And also spoke to Hv who's advice was the camping out sleep training and for my partner to do it as she is reliant on me feeding her to sleep

What's her food intake like the rest of the day?

Listen to yourself and your baby. Books were written by one person about their experience - you need to work out what's right for your baby and your family.

If you're breastfeeding (you don't mention it that I can see?) www.kellymom.com is an amazing resource.

Also look at the wonder weeks, I think there's an app you can download that tells you what mental and physical developments your baby is making at any time and what disruption you might expect. I found the free emails pretty useful.

9 months is a prime age for them to struggle a bit. Learning to crawl means they learn they can go away from you - and they realise that they then have to come back, which leads to Separation Anxiety. So she's probably just "checking in" to make sure you're still around.

It does pass. How long the phase takes is completely dependant on your baby, for some it's a few days for others its months. But it does pass

How is she doing with solid food? And do you have any luck expressing, because that's an excellent way to get extra milk into her - mix it with cereal or give in a cup to drink. Also, naps. Get her sleeping in the day at all costs (drive, walk in the buggy or sling, whatever gets the best sleep). For us it took moving bedtime forward to 6 from 7 and at the moment it's 5 but he's old enough to tell me he wants his bed so that he wasn't too tired to get himself to sleep. Mine is waking lots at night the last few days and it's because his naps have gone to complete shit! Before that he was pretty much sleeping 5:30/6-7:30/8 until this latest growth spurt (he's 19 months)

It does pass

She eats loads in the day 3 meals plus snacks she is breastfed.. I don't express as she won't take a bottle.. This is something I have recently given up on and accepted!!

I want to do what's best for her weather it's helping her to learn to sleep well or giving her the nutrients and brain power in.milk she needs to.thrive. The advise is so conflicting

I would say listen to your daughter. If she doesn't want to breast feed and she eats nutritiously through the day, then don't worry about the breast feeds. Offer, if she doesn't feed then leave it. I worried about my dd feeding, I put myself under a lot of unnecessary stress and angst. I look at her now and realise she was thriving!

I wouldn't worry about her feeding to sleep, she'll grow out of it soon enough. DS stopped for a few months around 6-7 months and started again. Then more or less stopped again just before he hit 18 months.

If it's not a problem for you (since you're the one doing the actual feeding/putting to bed), then it's not a problem for her. A 6 hour break from 10pm to 4am is actually really good at that age, and past the medical defininition of "sleeping through the night" (which is only 5 hours).

From what I've read, if they wake at night they geniunely need the milk until around 12-13 months. Night weaning isn't really recommended until then (unless they're not interested ofc).

Here's a link to some sleep studies: kellymom.com/parenting/nighttime/sleepstudies/

Here's another good link: www.drmomma.org/2009/12/sleep-training-review-of-research.html