Oh Lordy DD seems to be bouncing us into sleep training at PiLs house

[DougalTheCheshireCat]

We are here for a week, DD is just over one and EBF. She's always been a decent night time sleeper, evening have been harder work but a mix of No Cry Sleep Solutions and Gradual Retreat (have to repeat about once a month) has improved things a lot. Co sleeping has really worked for us used to be the full night with her in the sidecar, then in her own room from 6 months ish although usually one of us would sleep with her (have spare bed in her room) for the second part of the night which could be anywhere from midnight onwards to 5am onwards.

She feeds between once and twice a night thought lately I've sensed this is more for comfort than hunger (only in last month, both DH and I have v fast metabolisms and DD appears to be similar so haven't attempted night weaning before).

I have been thinking night weaning was near and that we should stop / reduce co sleeping but the plan was have the holiday first (moving around, different places going to be somewhere hot next week) and then do it when we get home.

However DD seems to have other ideas. The night before last he refuse to feed at bedtime and then took ages to settle down when in with us later. Last night she went down fine, but then was awake and playing in our bed 11-30 to 1am. I took her back to her own and sat with her until she went to sleep. Then up again at 5am DH tried to settle her but no joy, she fed and went back to sleep but then restless and wriggly in our bed even though asleep, so back to her own again.

PIL are expressing their concern / disapproval. miL seems to believe if she stepped in all would be peachy. Sigh. But here we are.

Just waffling to let off steam really (on only 3hrs sleep) but please do say something helpful if it occurs.

Also any ideas on approach I think options are:

1. go cold turkey on co sleeping and night feeding at the same time. Pros: will be consistent and I we make it work, one leap to the promised land of sleeping through on her own. Cons: likely to be noisy and tough- if she's hungry she is much less likely to go back to sleep. Also DH tends to be a woose and cave in/ lie down with her whe going gets tough.

2. do it in stages: always back into cot to sleep, aim to carve out a section in the middle of the night when she doesn't feed and then extend in both directions. Pros: sounds more doable. Cons: maybe makes it all take longer- sometimes in the night she gets to feed, sometimes she doesn't, how is she supposed to know the difference?

Also any ideas in how to manger the daytime naps while we do this (as she is more tired during the day). We've gone to one two hour nap after lunch already and in general things (evenings) have been much better. She's asleep now, do I get her up soon (8.30?) or leave her to sleep til whenever and do the daytime naps from there?

Ignore your MIL and the disapproving looks. She will have no more success.

Make sure her nap isn't too late and keep things very dull and boring at night. No playing. But don't mess about too much with what she's used to whilst you're away. It will be even more stressful.

Might be worth asking your MIL what she would do, if she were in charge.
My DM was v disapproving, and when I asked her, she showed me all kinds of useful sleep things. Turns out she wasn't disapproving at all, just worried about me and DH not getting enough sleep.

It's probably a phase. Second making everything very boring at night, no lights on, no talking, no playing.

Don't sleep train while away. You are setting up for failure.

Thanks for the replies. I agree with the no sleep training when away. But then what to do when DD is bouncing about, climbing all over us, pulling our hair while we're both lying down and hoping to sleep at midnight?

Possibly the answer is what I did, back to her own bed for the gradual retreat routine, lying her down when she stands up etc. took about half an hour last night, at 1am. The bummer for me is then the following waking is much more disruptive, as one of is has to get up and go to her. Whereas if she's in our bed often a snuggle sometimes without a small feed will do it.

Humpty, I take your point however Have had that conversation with MIL. Her advice is, essentially, why didn't you sleep train ruthlessly when she was much smaller. She also thinks if I stopped breast feeding (or indeed hadn't breast fed) it would magically fix things. Though obviously a bottle in the night isn't much of a gain. If we're stopping feeding in the night, were stopping. Having a bit of boob in the day is neither here nor there.

I think she's probably either teething or having a developmental leap. Possibly both. Even good sleepers/sleep trained babies have ad patches.

If you want to night wean at sine point all ya Dr Jay Gorden method.

Ignore MIL.

Good luck!