6mo and self settling - how do we get him doing it again?

[ipswichwitch]

DS2 has , until now, been a pretty good sleeper. We could put him down sleepy but awake after a feed and he would suck his thumb until he fell asleep. Hooray, we thought. We were due a good sleeper we thought as we've had real issues with DS1 (2.8yo) having sleep apnoea and waking screaming, terrified many times a night.

Now, DS2 has bath and feed but screams blue murder when we put him down, and keeps screaming until he gets fed to sleep, which is not what I wanted to wind up doing. He's also waking every 1.5-2 hours (previously slept in 4 hour stints between feeds), screaming until fed to sleep again. We are now co-sleeping for this reason.

I don't know how to tackle this. Just persevere and hope its a phase/growth spurt/development leap/teething issue, or try and deal with it somehow. Frankly the lack of sleep is making us ill. DS1 had his tonsils out recently to stop the apnoea. His breathing is great but sleep is still really crappy - needs hand holding still to go to sleep and has regular night wakings. We can't let DS2 just scream as it's waking DS1.

I should change my thread title really - how can we get both our kids sleeping better? And how do people do sleep training type stuff when the screaming wakes other DC?

Anyone?

I'm by no means a sleep expert, but my DS is almost six months and suffered from serious sleep regression at four months. He went from self settling and sleeping through to multiple wakings. We seem to be through the worst of it, thankfully, it's so frustrating when you know they used to be able to do it!

Have you read The Wonder Weeks? I'm wondering whether your DS is in a 'stormy' phase as I know my DS is coming up to the phase where they often suffer from separation anxiety and want lots of extra reassurance and cuddles.

Going through a similar thing here with my 5 month old..hoping it's just a phase. I knew the stretch of good sleeping couldn't last. I do think it's teeth coming in though so I guess we just have to ride the storm... Exhausting as it is

I'll have a look at the wonder weeks thanks missmargot
We think he's gearing up to do something in terms of development leap - sitting up maybe. It's just been a shock to the system having a baby that could self settle that now can't/won't. I keek hoping we haven't broken him and he'll go back to it when this phase is over!!

We have enough sleep issues with his brother, he never has self settled (probably due to the apnoea and couple of other health issues). We're hoping he will settle down but he had his tonsils out a few weeks ago now, and although breathing is better he's still waking. Seems our kids have decided sleep is for wimps

Glad it's not just us Half (sorry! But you know what I mean!) I'm just fed up of certain family members blaming us and our parenting - specifically "cuddling them too much" for our sleep issues

I don't have any answers I'm afraid but my DS is also a poor sleeper.

He was horrendous between about 5.5 and 6.5 months. Very similar sounding to our situation - waking every 45/90 mins. I don't know if it was growth spurt, teething or what.

We live with my PIL so we couldn't have any lengthy crying in the night although to be honest we couldn't stomach controlled crying anyway.

So I took him into the bed from about 1 am and dealt with it that way. Like all other things with DS, it turned out to be a phase.

Now he's almost 9mo and by no means a wonderful sleeper but he does go down at 7pm and wakes about 11 and 3 for a feed.

I used to spend hours worrying about his sleeping, about me BFing him during the night, you name it I worried about it! But now I try to look at each new behaviour as a phase that will pass and something new will happen.

I can't imagine how you'd manage another child too, may be if we ever have another one I'll have to face some sleep training.

Now I'm rambling a bit but I think my point is that this is hopefully a phase that will pass and you will get through it. Good luck!

Oh and I meant your situation and fwiw he no longer sleeps in the bed.

Thanks eagle, probably sounds daft but you'd think that with him being my second DC I'd have some idea of what's going on and what to do. I think lack of sleep has robbed me of the ability to think straight! Plus the fact that DS1 has always been a crappy sleeper for all of his 2.8 years, I guess I didn't see this coming.
Oh well, better keep stocking up on coffee

It's the time that I spend during the day trying to get him to sleep I find worse (if we're at home). He's not bad if he's in his pram/car seat and we're out, but when we're home and even if he is clearly exhausted he won't go to sleep in the cot any more. He used to go down no problem!

I then have to resort to feeding him to sleep, which I don't want to make a habit during the day as he used to just settle with a dummy. Aargh it's so frustrating isn't it...looking forward to getting out of this phase!

I was right about him gearing up to do something. He's started rolling about the floor like a thing possessed! He has rolled before a couple of times but didn't seem to like it much. Yesterday he rolled then kept rolling about trying to get all his toys. He's suddenly getting mobile (oh hell !) so maybe that's what's behind all this sleep carry on.

My 6mo is the same as this - sounds just like yours Eagle. It is really reassuring to hear it might be a phase that passes as I am starting to worry that I should be doing something more organised about it than allowing her in our bed to feed on and off (which is what is allowing me to sleep, currently). I am concerned we have made things harder for ourselves by switching from outgrown cosleeper to cot in the middle of a tricky phase, with the result that she now hates her cot.

Quodlibet DS2 is currently co sleeping and feeding at will too, in an effort to maximise sleep. He's so twisty through the night poor DH often ends up in his room. Right now I couldn't cope with all the endless getting up and down all night every time he wakes. I just don't have the energy to tackle getting him into his own cot yet!

I do remember doing similar with DS1 at this age and he now happily gets into his bed, so the co-sleeping doesn't seem to have caused him any difficulty there.

That is good to hear (re no long term problems). You just have to do what gets you from day to day don't you?