Really fed up, 13 week old won't nap

[Poppety]

Hi everyone, I've not posted before but wondered if anyone had any magic tips for getting a 13 week old to nap in the day?
Brief history -
She was a breech baby, very awkward position, had a section due to position. She had neck problems as a result and was in discomfort for the first 6 weeks. Had cranio work which eventually 'fixed' her!
As a result of her not being very comfortable we had to try whatever we could to get her to go to sleep, day and night, so ended up bouncing her in the chair, rocking her, breastfeeding her, etc etc
I'm aware that this isn't sustainable and also now not working anymore!
Ive been trying to get her to nap in her bed where she sleeps at night but it's a nightmare and really getting me down.
It takes an hour of me feeding her, shushing her, patting her etc to get her off (and it doesn't always) and she'll stay asleep for 30 minutes at the most.
I've tried the pick up put down technique, shush pat technique, feeding her to sleep, pacing around with her etc etc, but it's just really really hard work and my poor 3 year old is just ignored in the process.
I don't want to rely on taking her out in the car or out for walks in the pram, I want her to sleep in her bed! She just gets more and more miserable as the day goes on and as the weeks pass I'm getting more and more depressed
Can anyone help?

Honestly? I'd use the pram, temporarily. Sounds like she's got overtired and it's much more difficult to get them to sleep once overtired. If you use the pram for good solid naps for a few days, you should "cure" the overtiredness, and then you may find she sleeps much better at home again.

Some babies really struggle to nap well. You may find that whatever you do your daughter won't nap easily or for long. Try not to get too stressed about it or have expectations for quick results.

I'd suggest firstly finding a method which seems to get her off to sleep fairly quickly and keeps her asleep for the longest. Try pram, dummy, sling. (I found a moby wrap sling worked for me but only if I stayed in dark quiet room so not sure how that would fit with your toddler).

If you persevere with the cot try a dark, quiet room (try using white noise if noise is waking her up). Ignore the people who say get her used to noise/light.

If she will still only have short naps aim to have them every couple of hours. This may mean pram walks or putting in sling etc every couple of hours.

You could also seek advice from a maternity nurse though to be honest I used one and although she was very experienced, she admitted defeat with my daughter at that age.

Stay positive, my daughters napping improved when I weaned and started topping up with formula (around 6 mths). She still slept less than other babies but napped regularly and coped better with less sleep. As a toddler she naps great.

It can be really soul destroying, people who say 'babies sleep anywhere' or that the second baby will always 'go with the flow' really haven't experienced a non napping baby. Really hope it improves.

Personally I would go with whatever works - pram, sling.

Some babies just don't nap well, but I think it's too much at once to both get a baby to nap when you want and where you want. I'd do the 'when' first, and then try the 'where'. If she gets in a pattern of sleeping at certain times of day, she might be more amenable to changing the venue .

Thank you for your replies!
She won't go in a sling so sadly I can't just wear her as I know that often works. She will eventually fall asleep in the pram after a good 20 minutes of constant motion and will only stay asleep if the pram is moving, which is fine in theory, but not when you have a 3 year old that has to them keep walking round and round with you ;(
The only place she will fall asleep is being breastfed or in the car, but wakes as soon as both things finish. So it's costing us a fortune in petrol and I'm spending a lot of time feeding her and she is often sick from being over fed.
Her bed is in our room which is pitch black, I also try to put her down when I see the first sign of tiredness. She so t just lie there and go off tho I still have to feed her or pace around to get her properly sleepy :(

She will eventually fall asleep in the pram after a good 20 minutes of constant motion and will only stay asleep if the pram is moving

This is exactly what DD was like when she was really overtired. I found that if I did a few days of looong pram walks - keeping up the constant motion - that would get her caught up on sleep and fix the overtiredness. Once the overtiredness was fixed, she would still need the moving pram to drop off, but would stay asleep if the pram stopped (so I could walk round the block a couple of times to get her to sleep, and then bring her home for the rest of the nap).

Can you devote 2 days - maybe at the weekend when your DH/DP is home and can look after the 3 year old - to doing lots of long pram walks? I swear you'll see a big difference in how easily she settles if you do.

I would try a sling again to be honest, what do you mean when you say she doesn't go in one?

Some babies can cry a bit when first put in a sling if they arnt used to it but that phase would soon pass. My second DD only started napping in her cot around 9 months old. Before that all in pram/car/sling.

One trick that did work with the pram was to use a snooze shade type shade over the pram and then rock in front of the washing machine while it was on a spin cycle! I would then leave pram in the kitchen while she napped!

Are you over stimulating her? If you're comfortable with this, it's what I did with my DS from 3 months.

I'd do a nap routine of into room, blackout curtains pulled, short book, sleeping bag on, cuddle and put down. I then gave him 5 minutes where he would cry. I'd then go back in and shhh-pat for a minute of two, not getting him out of his cot.

Within a week or so he was self settling for naps.

I'm not overly happy with leaving him to cry but he was just over stimulated any other way. That and it was only 5 minutes max, often less.

Also, are you making sure that naps are happening every 1hr 15 to 1hr 30? That's the longest that they need to be awake for at that age. Their tired signs are very easy to miss and often once they're showing them, they're actually overtired and 1000x more difficult to settle.

She hated the sling because of the way it forced her head down abs exasperated her neck problems, we were advised not to use one actually. She'll go in the baby bjorn but only facing out!! I really do have a right madam!!
I hadn't considered that over tiredness could last for more than a day? She sleeps 14 hours at might with 2 feeds so I assumed she would have caught back up? Good tip though!
My first wasn't like this and everyone said it was easier second time round!!!

My 13 weaker (also breech, born via ELCS) is a serial catnapper also.

Feeding is my only way of getting him to wind down/sleep and up to now has only ever napped in my arms after a feed. He's starting to get too big for this to be comfortable (for us both) so I am having to put him down and deal with the inevitable instant wake-up and re-settle.

I've managed to get him down into the bouncer/onto the bed a couple of times and he's still only slept 30-40 minutes. It's not over-tiredness as he sleeps a good 9-10 hours at night (not in one go, he feeds twice) and I always get him to sleep within 90 minutes wake time.

I find it a right PITA though as I have to make provisions for 4-5 naps a day it really impacts on my day as I can't ever go anywhere where he'll be awake longer than 90 minutes unless I can walk home in the pushchair where he'll nap (for 30-40 minutes…) or somewhere I can feed him to sleep and sit with him on me for 40 minutes.

We fell into the trap of everyone saying that the second just fits in with the first, so still going to the playgroups that we always did and having the baby sleep in the car on the way to and from.

I don't want to rely on walking round with the pram because what if it rains or I'm not well or my toddler can't walk for hours on end, is it hugely unrealistic to have her nap
In her bed? She sleeps in it for 14 hours at night without a hitch!?

No advice but standing with you, covered in milk puke and with my nerves in tatters. 11 week old ds is the same. Today he wouldn't even sleep in buggy or sling. He too is getting more and more miserable and I'm getting more and more upset by it. Was in tears at the zoo today watching all the other mums with their happy or sleeping babies while mine just continued to cry. Along with my 3 year old who is clearly getting stressed by it too.

I found the 9minute sleep solution book really useful at that age. Basically you always put them down 90mins after they last woke regardless of how long they sleep for. After a week or so he sorted himself into longer naps.
But it's worth buying the book as it's very useful on the actual physiology of sleep-wake cycles.

www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/0761143114?pc_redir=1402692459&robot_redir=1

Thank you for the book recommendation! How exactly do you make them go to sleep and stay that way tho? If I put her in her bed she'd go ballistic if she wasn't already asleep!?

Not particularly helpful but mine wouldn't nap in their cots until they were one. I walked, a lot, and used vibrating bouncy chairs the rest of the time.

My ds was like this and I ended up buying a white noise app on my phone to use for his naps and it worked a treat !!

Could you put the pram in your room? Pitch black and the most gentle of rocking? When I first got dd napping indoors in her pram id give her 100 pushes. Counting them gave me something to do. If after 100 she was still awake, even slightly, id do 100 more. The quiet and dark added to the motion of the pram was a good combo.

Would your 3yo entertain himself quietly in his room while you put her down in the buggy in yours?

Eventually I was able to drop the nunber of pushes and eventually just tucking her in with her teddy was enough.

Does she have a comforter or dummy to help her get off to sleep?

Refuses a dummy and is a bit young for a comforter I think?
We have a white noise toy which I've not used for a while as it really bothered her when she was tiny. She is VERY sensitive to sound due to nerve damage from her position in the womb - the very slightest noise and she's awake!
I can't fit the pram in my room sadly and my 3 year old is amazing, she amuses herself most of the day as I'm
Dealing with the baby

Do you have a swing? You can start with it on the fastest setting, put it in her room/where she sleeps at night, and once she's napping well in the swing you can slowly wean her off it by reducing the speed. Once she'll sleep in it without any movement you can put her in her cot.

Fledermaus that's a great idea - I'd need to use the bouncy chair though as she hates the swing sadly - how can you hate a swinging chair!!!

I posted on a similar thread a few days ago, my ds is 8 wo and would only nap on me! Would wake as soon as i put him down. A friend introduced me to the 'poddle pod' which is a cushion with a figure of 8 cut into it which makes them feel like they're being hugged! It worked instantly i lie him on his side as he hated being on his back and he now has 1 1/2 -2 hr naps! Amazing! Worth a try!

We have one and she sleeps beautifully in it at night in the cot but won't in year day!!!