Help! disintegrating sleep pattern - long message, sorry

[Heathcliffscathy]

my ds was sleeping from 7 til 7 with a feed at around 10ish...over the last 3 nights this has started to disintegrate, last night he woke up at 1.40, 2.30, 4 and 6...because i'm a bad mother, i only fed him at the 1.40 and 6am wakings (to be honest i was so shocked he was waking up and he did go back to sleep himself after crying for just a minute or so on the other times)...he is asleep now (9.20am) and has been since i fed him at 6am (bang goes the routine which would mean that i would wake or he would wake at 7am)...i've been sort of vaguely following gina ford (I used to be completely anti, before I sufferred the torture of sleep deprivation, read the book, instigated the feeding schedule and was saved)...now i'm at a loss as to what to do, everything was going so well, he was happier, we were blissed out...at the same time as i started the routine i also started weaning, which seemed to be part of why he was sleeping through more. is he hungry, is this a growth spurt, or his digestion playing up? i am very lucky in that ds is more than happy to go down to sleep awake and in the past has been able to wake and put himself back to sleep without any protest...this predates the gf stuff...he is adorable, but i am absolutely petrified of going back to several wakings every night...he is 5 months this week...help!

Thanks so much!

sorry mears, i'm v v sensitive at the moment about being a bad/inconsistent/heartless/etc mother...you are right, actually today he has fed better than he has for a week so fingers crossed for tonight...i'm really grateful for everyone's advice...just on a slight tangent, isn't it crappy that we're all so paranoid about what other mums (or anyone else for that matter) will think of how we deal with our babies...or is it just me...even with my sister, who i am great friends with, i'm not sure about telling her stuff sometimes as i know she did it differently and may look askance at my way of doing it...the irony being that all of our babies are different individuals and as parents we know them best...sometimes the paranoia just wears me out!

sophable - try and relax! You are doing brilliantly and it's obvious you're doing whatever you can to help your ds through this phase. As mears says, it's most likely a growth spurt (god, so used to them now I completely forgot that could be a reason for the last week!). If you are more relaxed and confident about this evening those feelings will feed down to your little one and he may just surprise you.. Last night was ok, today was much much better, so you've got nothing to lose tonight.

As for advice from other mums, no-one should judge you on your approach, especially when we're all new to it and you have to learn somehow, unfortunately through practical experience. I do find knowledge is everything and the more people I speak to (or read on MN!) the more options you have to make a decision from. Sometimes I phrase things like "I was thinking of trying this.. have you?" or "I listened to what you said but we decided to go with this as ds was happier with it" ie. talk things through and go with what you want and feel self-assured with what you decide and most likely you'll be trying something different the next day!

Good luck tonight.

PS. have a large glass of wine tonight, it will relax you no end

thanks karen

btw, how old is/are your babies?

DS turned 9months last weekend - I never knew it was going to be this good! Despite the sleep deprivation, all the boob problems, no social life, etc. etc. ITS THE BEST THING WE'VE EVER DONE I'm sure you and I would be in competition if I said he's the best little boy in the world!

[btw, it was twiglett that really inspired me in a previous thread, about saying his cot is the safest environment etc, got it wrong earlier - sorry twiglett!]

Good luck for a good night tonight sophable.

Also wanted to say that dd at that age was a complete speed feeder. 5 mins each side tops. Often 5 mins 1 side and refusal of the other side. I remember it really worried me at the time but she was fine and the same weight as my friend's little girl of the same age who used to feed for 30 mins at least each time. So I wouldn't use a clock as an indicator of how much milk they take. He may have a good jaw!

I know what you mean about feeling paranoid. I don't feel it about being a 'mean' mom but just about being such a procrastinator. I just can't seem to make decisions and stick to them. Sometimes I think I seek too much advise and all of it's so convincing I don't know what to do!

i am so glad you're so overwhelmingly happy with your little one karen, fwiw when i'm not worried about leaving him to cry or sleep starved i am over the moon too...evita, thanks for your post...its really interesting to hear from you both about speed of feeding thanks, and fingers crossed

How's it going sophable?

I am actually jealous of all you breastfeeders out there - before you know it your main concern will be trying to get time on the computer because you have to compete with a bunch of teenagers. I know it can be tough looking after a small baby but it is so very sad when those days are long gone

I know it is no consolation to know that is will all be gone in a flash but just thought I would give you a glimpse of the future. You soon forget all the bad nights and sleep deprivation. I am still sleep deprived because teenagers go to bed later than you want them to...

Hope things are improving for you sophable

thanks mears, last night was much much better, he cried for a little while at about 3ish, but settled himself really quickly and that was it! also, he has eaten loads today, been in a good mood, and something really amazing happened tonight. i was in the bath with him and for some reason got one of the little plastic ducks and made a silly quack quack noise as it moved towards him...he's never really paid them much attention before now...and he let forth a little giggle, practically the first proper one (he smiles all the time and makes a noise a bit like mutley in wacky races, but this was a little laugh) and he did it over and over...i was over the moon...how amazing is it being a mum...thanks so much for all your help and i hope we meet again on MN, hopefully in a chatty way, not just when in dire straits!!!

I'm glad things are going better sophable. Yes it is incredible being a mom. Even on days when they drive you half mad, they suddenly do something so adorable that all the bad moments melt away. I had a day like that today, dd was in a grotty mood from the word go and was v. hard work. Then when we were coming back from the park this afternoon, she wanted me to carry her (a bit of a strain for a skinny mom like me with an 18 month old!), so I did and she had a 'conversation' with me about what we'd do when we got home and kept giving me kisses all the way. I felt so loved and special and she totally won me over. Yet again!

gosh, those messages have melted me!!!

I was so happy the first time ds made a proper laugh, it was so unexpected and the most beautiful sound ever. DH and I couldn't stop grinning and by the time we had the video camera the moment had passed.

Sophable, there are so many more smiles and laughs to come and it's now at this age (around 6mo for my ds) they start to get sooo interesting and fun to be with. I guess that's why I feel like I'm gushing with love for ds. I thought the first few months were good, well the next few get even better. Another 'first' that completely melted me about a month ago was the first time ds consciously put his head down on my lap and cuddled into me. Before he knew how to rest against me but this was a proper affectionate hug, it was like he'd never really had control of his head before and at that moment he wanted to put it down on my lap. oooooh, I was just in tears [of happiness].

Anyway, I digress! I'm so pleased your wee man is now back on track with food and sleep. Leaving to settle isn't half as bad as it sounds and you've set a precedent now. If you need to repeat it again it doesn't take half as long and as mentioned we sometimes have days where its' 1-2mins of fussing and others 10mins of quite hard crying, but he always settles and is always the better for it. Well done!

thanks to all your help and support, ds slept like a baby last night (no, thats not right is it, i mean, slept like an adult ) we feel human again. he woke up as usual at about 10.15, but only took 1 1/2 oz of milk, and then didn't wake again: any advice on dropping this feed (or not dropping it)??

loved both your stories of gorgeous moments with your little ones...i'm still reeling from the giggle...i feel very very very lucky indeed (smiley faces overload!)
x

Yay, sophable! That's great news. Hey, go with the 10.30 feed for now, why rock the boat?