Well here is what worked for me, hope it helps someone else

[Milkymickey]

...because I swear I have read every sleep thread there is...

My 8 month old had never slept well, for a zillion reasons.
What worked in the end? Gradual retreat (aka the thread 'heres what worked for me' that you can search for) PLUS night weaning.

I started the gradual retreat first, and when tat was starting to work (going down for naps and first night sleep without too much help from me, but with sittingg next to cot, I night weaned.

It was hell, HELL, for five nights. I mean 2-3 hours up in the middle of the night for three of those nights. I had just got to the point where I accepted defeat and decided that I would continue to feed and try again in another month when, just like that, he stopped asking.

Then in the last ten days since every night has got better, with more and more self settling until sleeping through for first time at the weekend. Up last night with tooth pain, but not for hours and relatively easily settled again. Has not asked for milk in the night but feeding much better in the day (bf).

I know there are loads of people on MN who dont believe in night weaning tihis early, as I have read all the threads. But it worked for me. And restored my sanity which was seriously at risk.
Hth someone out there!

Hi Millymickey

Thanks for posting this. I needed to read this. I also used the thread 'what worked for us', to sort out my DD's naps. I had to feed rock pick back up feed rock etc to get her to go down for naps. Now I can pop her in the cot. Do with that sorted it's onto nights..... Deep breath (I tackles naps first as easy to handle in the day time!).

Last night was first night of self settling at bedtime. Just done second night just now. My goodness so stressful. I feel awful. I hate the crying. But she's done it. She fell asleep in her cot with my hand on her back.

Can't face the night wakings yet. Good on you.

Thanks for posting Milkymickey - I'm currently in the process of doing gradual retreat with my 8month old DD and your post gives me hope. We are taking it really slowly at the moment but it seems to be working. She used to need to feed to sleep and she can now (eventually) go down by herself. She was also going through a stage of waking every 90min and we are now generally down to waking before midnight for a late feed and then again at 3am.

(Oh and if anyone else is watching this thread and is interested - I have only done gradual retreat at the 7pm put down. She is generally so sleepy at the late feed she is asleep pretty much as soon as I put her down. After the 3am feed I do put her down awake but since the second night she has just rolled onto her side holding my hand and then fallen asleep.)

I'd love to night wean but I'm not sure she's ready yet. Some nights she takes only a couple of oz but some nights she takes up to 7oz - maybe we are in a growth spurt phase?? Fingers crossed she drops it by herself...

Hi 55,

Sounds like we are at the same stage. I'm only doing bedtime too. It's sort of helped night wakings. I don't think she's waking quite as much. I still feed to sleep during the night wakings as can't quite gave that one yet.

So what so you do for night wakings?

Hi stillhopefulforanother

In the night she gets breast and bottle (combination feeding here) and she usually end up pretty drowsy but not asleep.

The first night I waited until she fell asleep in my arms and then transferred her to the cot (what I always used to do at all feeds) but that was starting to be a bit hit and miss because if she woke up she got annoyed so the 2nd night I decided to just put her down in the cot and see what happened, expecting to be there for the long haul. As it was she held my hand and whimpered for maybe 10s before falling asleep.

(Touch wood) she has done that every night since. For some reason she seems to know she can get to sleep by herself in the middle of the night whereas at 7pm she seems to get frustrated trying to do it. I suppose in the end I will probably wean her off holding my hand to get to sleep but as in the middle of the night it only takes less than a minute I don't mind atm. Hopefully she will drop the 3am feed soon!

Having written all of this I realise I have probably now jinxed myself!

Re.night weaning I waited till
A) past six months (when apparently not needed any more generally)
Plus
B) dropped to 4 daytime feeds and faffing around a bit at some of them as I figured that meant we had spare daytime capacity (!)
C) going well on solid food and taking three meals a day fairly well.
Should poont out that dc is a v hingry child in general, eats double what dc1 did at the same age.
Also, dc was waking at different times every night, from 10am till 4pm which made me suspect it was not strictly needed. I found the Andrea Grace book helpful to think through the issues. And I was desperate to change things, which helps seeing it thrpughh.
I also tried to think about how i might be consistent even if I didnt succeed entirely so that we were still taking steps in the right direction (aka no cry book) so that I wasnt trying something, dropping it and reverting right back. Helped me to see it as not all or nothing, and that I could try agsin a month later.
Good luck to all working on similar things, that point in the middle where there is no apparent change is really tough.
But i am a much better daytime parent now, and dc is much cheerier too. I think the temporary pain was/is worth it for a much healthier long term relationship. I felt i was in real danger of disengaging emotionally. There are people who can cope with sleep deprivation but i was going a bit loopy.