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16 month old waking constantly - please help :(

4 replies

Writergalclaire · 01/06/2014 07:44

Hi everyone - I'm at my wits end and really can't cope with much more so I'm in desperate need of advice. I've got a 16 m/o son who has never been an amazing sleeper - however we had a few months of him only waking once or so for his dummy in the night, which isn't ideal but I'd take it atm! He's always gone down to sleep fine after a routine of bath, change and bottle and generally given us evenings to ourselves.

However, for the past few weeks he's started waking constantly through the night, sometimes during the evening and often at that worst point when we've just gone to sleep, for no apparent reason. The problem is when we go in, replace the dummy, give him water or Calpol, cuddle him, pat him etc he's fine but now the minute we leave the room he screams and screams and gradual retreat is working less and less. After trying all the things above and bringing him in with us, (which used to work if nothing else did but now doesn't), we've resorted to turning the monitor down and trying to let him cry it out a bit, but he will literally scream for an hour if we leave him.

Our daughter is due in 11 weeks and both my husband and I are already on our knees with tiredness - I'm so worried about how we're going to cope with DS being like this while already being up with a newborn so any advice would be so helpful.

Thank you :)

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bumble222 · 01/06/2014 22:43

Hi, just wanted to get back to you as been browsing the unanswered messages and thought it may help to share my story. I went through a not dissimilar scenario with my daughter around the same stage ( she's now nearly 4) and I remember how exhausting it is and after trying different tactics I can honestly say the only thing that was successful was to get up to each call, with as little delay as I could muster through the tiredness and see to her, e.g. drink, dummy, musical toy back on then return back to bed straight away. I remember some nights doing this up to 8 or 10 times until she eventually tired. I found leaving her to cry only made her more upset and dealing with the upset sooner rather than later was more reassuring for her, I found it important to leave as soon as she had been reassured and given what she wanted.
It will get better, she started sleeping through the night 98% of the time about 18 months ago coinciding with being potty trained. I do feel for you, I was doing shift work during the worst of this it and dh just slept through most of it.
They just want reassurance and they don't mind how they get it! I found my body clock just adjusted to the constant waking after a while and you can cope with it. Just tell dh that lack of sleep causes the brain to compensate by seeking pleasure in other areas, mainly retail therapy (I read this somewhere and think it's probably true)
Good luck, sorry it's not a miracle answer, stay strong you can do it. I'll be back to sleepless nights myself again as due twins next Monday!

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 01/06/2014 22:49

My DS is 17 months and an amazing sleeper

However, for the last two weeks, he's been having real problems getting to sleep and we were having the hysterical screaming despite giving calpol and ibuprofen for teething. What seems to finally have worked is slapping on large amounts of teething gel too.

Do you think he is teething? DS has been plus has had a cold with a sore throat. DH is a dentist and suspects the teething gel is numbing his throat along eith his teeth which had been part of the problem. Might be worth a try?

TeenageMutantNinjaTurtle · 01/06/2014 22:54

We had a similar phase at the same age. Is there a 16mo sleep regression? I hate to say it but we put a single bed in her room and I slept in with her. Phase lasted about 6 weeks if I recall correctly. She then moved herself from the cot to the "big bed" just after she turned 2 and now that's where she sleeps so it all worked out quite nicely!!

Writergalclaire · 03/06/2014 07:55

Thank you everyone for the comments - my husband is fantastic at the gradual retreat and last night it worked - after screaming at 11.30 he eventually went back down and slept until I woke him up this morning! DH didn't pick him up like he usually does but just patted him to sleep and it seemed to help :)

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