2 year old waking 4 times a night

[zofranks]

I need some help please, my 2 year old daughter has never slept through the night on a regular basis (probably 10 times in all) but just recently it has gotten to the point where I am at my wits end, she is waking up to 4 times a night, she asks for milk & if we give it she goes straight back to sleep, if we don't all hell breaks loose & as we live in a terrace and our neighbours are pretty unreasonable we can't let her cry at 2am...she won't go to sleep on her own, she has a blue fit if we leave the room so we have ended up giving in to her (rod, backs I know....) I have now been diagnosed with PND and as much as I kind of agree with the doc I do think most of it is caused by chronic sleep deprivation. We need advice on what we do next with her. Do I tackle to not going to sleep on her own first & hope that helps her stay asleep or would you tackle the not sleeping through first & if so how do we refuse the milk without the screaming fit? I just don't know where to start. the OH & I are arguing all the time because we are so bloody knackered, we have no sex life at all as neither of us has any energy for it, I feel like we are on a downward spiral & one of us will end up flipping out at the other. I wish I could stay off work but we can't afford it so we have to deal with all this & yet still perform in our jobs each day...help...please x

Can I ask about her bedtime routine and if she has any naps during the day. And what she does during the day play wise?

she is active all day, plays out if the weather is dry all day, goes to nursery 2 days a week, the other days we make sure she is doing activities nearly all day, we rarely sit in front of the TV, TV time is normally the cbeebies bedtime hour. she has a nap after lunch, normally an hour at most, sometimes it is an hour & a half, bedtime routine is good I think. Bath time at 7pm, bed by 7.30pm, stories & milk in bed then she is normally fast asleep by 8pm. We have tried keeping her up later but she ends up too exhausted & then her sleep seems to be worse (I have no idea why though).

just as an addition to that last post - when she does go to bed she is normally yawning & tired, rubbing her eyes & playing with her ears. if she appears wide awake I do keep her up but this is rare

Hmm, that is most of the advice I would have given, does she have a night light at all, I had the same problem with my son and the self soothing I used worked but meant listening to him cry for half an hour before calming down and settling back off to sleep. Sometimes I've found going into the room when they wake up asking for stuff that if I avoid eye contact and don't talk to him other than laying him back down tucking him up and telling him it's sleep time has worked numerous times although I find that difficult because he purposely tries to look at me which always makes me laugh lol. The one thing that has seemed to help though is his jellyfish tank thing, they sell them in Argos. I hear him wake up and have often sneaked to his door and seen him just laying there and watching it and then falling back to sleep. Maybe give that a go. Otherwise, is she waking up because she's wet? I had this trouble and had to switch nappy brands. As for you, when she's having her lunchtime nap are you getting some rest? Have you been given any tablets? Take a moment each week to pamper yourself, you may well be a mother but you still need to keep that little bit of you. And whether your struggling or not we all do at times just remember that you are doing your best and that is good enough. Talk it out too it always seemed to help me even if it's just to a stranger. As for your sex life you know that 8pm sleep time your daughter gets, make the most of it, get yourself some new underwear and give him a surprise it'll make you feel better too :)