DS only wants mummy at bedtime - help!

[BauerTime]

DS is 9.5mo and up until the last week DH and i have shared bedtime and night time duties. We alternate 1 puts him to bed and the other does the night duties.

To give the full details, DS is in the thick of a sleep regression (i think) and for the last month has gone from going straight down after a bottle and waking up once only for a feed during the night and going straight back down, to not wanting to go to bed and then either waking up multiple times or waking for bottle but taking 1-2hrs to get back down. He has, in this time learnt to crawl, had a cold/cough and i believe he is teething. He already has his front 8 teeth do getting bigger/more difficult ones?

Anyway, he is now screaming his head off at bedtimes when it is DH's turn and absolutely will not go to sleep or even take his bottle, but as soon as i take him he calms down and takes his bottle, and goes to sleep. Not as easily as before regression but fairly good. He will still allow DH to do the night times, just not bed time. We've tried letting MIL do bedtime too but again, no dice.

We were so smug before this thinking that by always sharing bedtime we would avoid the 'i only want mummy' stuff but its come to bite us in the bum anyway!

Any suggestions???? TIA.

If it were me I would go out for an hour, leave hubby to it, and see what happens. You wont stress as much because you wont hear the (probable) initial cries, and hubby will stress less because he will be left on his own to try. Worth a try????

Thanks for the reply. Yes this is the plan for tomorrow. I'm going to go out before bath time and come back when he is asleep (hopefully). I can't sit downstairs and listen to the screams.

HOw did it go??

I would do more bedtimes until he settles down. The clue is in the name - it is a regression. What's the point of causing him unnecessary grief if it is quicker all around? Then when it passes revert back. Otherwise what do you gain?

I wonder if it could be separation anxiety kicking in, he is about the right age. You could try doing lots of calmly leaving the room and coming back during the day, talking to him when you are out of sight, peekaboo, hiding under blankets etc - the idea is to teach him that its ok to be apart from you and that you will come back.

Its definitely separation anxiety. He wont let me get more than 5ft from him when we are on our own.

DH did bath and bed and he seems to be ok as long as he doesn't see me slip away and bedtime was fine.

My DD was the worst for separation anxiety - she only wanted me until she was nearly 20 months - then one day she just wanted DH and that was that - I was no longer needed!! We didn't fight it to be honest, we wanted an easier life and didn't want to upset DD further. I did however do lots of lovely soothing nurturing things at bedtime to ease the separation anxiety and guarantee better settling and sleep.

I even taped my voice at one stage and played it on repeat in her room which helped with night wakings. Anyway, I've written a blog post on separation anxiety here it is if you're interested - mydaughterwontsleep.com/2014/05/31/dealing-with-separation-anxiety/

Good luck, I'm sure the regression will pass soon.

Thanks caroline, ill have a read.