How to get bf-ing co-sleeping toddler out of my bed before imminent baby is born?

[florrielorry]

Ds is almost 2, still bf-ing and co-sleeping. He bfs to go to sleep and looks for boobs if he stirs and is hysterical if he can't feed. He will settle with a cuddle but generally wants to sleep physically touching me and wakes if I move. He won't be settled by dh but he works away/nights anyway so the onus is on me. I'd been hoping he'd self-wean because of the pregnancy but I'm7 mmonths now and he's showing no sign.

I'm struggling to sleep at night and really tired because of the pregnancy and other dc anyway. I'm dreading trying to sort this out. Ds can't talk and gets hysterical extremely easily and will poo or be sick if crying for a few minutes. I have thought of getting character covers etc for his bed but know I'll never be able to leave with him awake without hysteria and when he wakes (sometimes hourly) he'll want me there.

Any ideas or advice would be much appreciated.

I'm really sorry but you're going to have to be cruel to be kind here. Co sleeping is fine and with a newborn it can still be possible but sleep may still suffer. Breast feeding is going to be a nightmare so now is the time to wean.
You can get cots that attach to the side of the bed and your toddler could start this way. They cost around £60.
You could try a baby/toddler feeder with a soft spout rather than a teat. Avent do them. One night feed only for a while then at least a month before baby is born cut out night feeds. Having a snuggly toy that follows you both around all day and is part of night time routine would help in the long run but will take perseverance. Expect resistance!
I speak from a bit of experience here so bear with me! My 14 month old second was being breastfed when I was pregnant and fortunately she learnt to cut down and out before baby arrived. My third baby co slept all the time I was pregnant and it was incredibly difficult to move him out. He went into a cot in the room in the end while baby slept in bedside cot. A bit of regression and it took 6 mths. It's not going to be easy, expect lots of resistance and yet more sleeplessness but it is possible.
And remember, you are the parent and in charge!
Co sleeping is lovely but breast feeding two children of different ages is going to be very difficult and not fair on you or the new baby.
A little tough love needed and persevere with the snuggly toy as this is what you need to use when he wakes.
Start today!
Good luck.

I stopped bf first during the day (distracted with other food/drink) and then at night (took three nights - first he screamed for about an hour and a half when he woke wanting milk and I said no, second took about ten min, third just wanted a cuddle). Wore a no-access top in bed for a few weeks, then he totally forgot about ever having milk from me!

Then we started him going to sleep with a cuddle AND teddy, progressing gradually to teddy and one of us present. Started with falling asleep in our bed with us, transfer to cot, and now falling asleep in own bed (now he has one!) and staying there.

My DD snacked all night long it was exhausting. My husband was never around working long hours so was really difficult thing to break. In the end we did it when DH was on holiday - It took about 5 nights, there was some crying but DD was never alone as DH set up a camp bed next to DD's cot. If you still want to co-sleep you could put a blow up mattress on the floor and then you sleep in a different room for a few nights whist your DH does night duty.

After those few nights of DH doing night duty my DD slept through the night and we all got some sleep - here's my blog post on what we did if you're interested - mydaughterwontsleep.com/2014/02/06/is-breast-best-when-it-comes-to-sleep-apparently-not/
There's also a few posts on getting your child sleepy and helping them settle without boob but with no crying that may be of use to you.
Good luck and congrats on baby number ..2 exciting times!

In the end the only way I stopped ds co sleeping at 20 ish months was to get a single bed for his room. Then sit with him refusing to let him hold on to me at all for comfort but right next to him until he dropped off. A few tears the first few nights. If he cried in the night I would go and get in the single bed with him. Within a week he was sleeping through about 50% of the time. I had tried before getting him into a cot but it never really worked.