Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Sleep

Join our Sleep forum for tips on creating a sleep routine for your baby or toddler. Need more advice on your childs development? Sign up to our Ages and Stages newsletter here.

Original poster

Going insane!! 9 month old not sleeping at night...please help!!

43 replies

Steph3007 · 19/05/2014 22:03

Hi there, this is my first post and I'm desperate for any any help/advice on getting my 9 month old son to sleep at night. Since day one my son has been a very challenging baby with sleep patterns all over the place and just generally being very hard to please. Then at 6 months he started sleeping through the night...and I mean the whole night, full 12 hours 7pm-7am..hallelujah!!!
I enjoyed this blissful time for around 2 months and then he got his first two teeth, caught his first cold, boiler broke therefore had to bath him elsewhere thus taking him out of his routine and it's all been pretty much downhill from there. He has no problem getting himself to sleep during the day taking 2-3 naps however these are all in his pram (not sure if this is where I'm going wrong) but at night he will just constantly fight his tiredness and stand in his cot crying until I go in lay him down and repeat, repeat, repeat until he literally has no energy left to stand anymore. He also wakes several times during the night and wakes before the birds to start the day.
I am totally exhausted and absolutely dread his bedtime, tonight it's taken 2 hours for him to actually go to sleep.
Please....any advice would be a great help, thank you.

OP posts:
AmIGoingMad · 20/05/2014 00:53

I wish I had some advice but I'm in the same situation with my 10 month old. She's driving me insane! She's started falling asleep on her bottle and she sleeps until we go to bed. This evening she slept from 7-9.30 and then woke. She's been awake ever since. My alarm is going to go to get up for work at 6 and she's is currently wide awake and alternating between crying, screaming and trying to play. I'm sat here in tears at the thought of teaching 6 lessons tomrw on around 4 hours sleep if I'm lucky.
Sorry I wish I could give some advice but thought the whole 'you're not alone' thing might help.

Original poster
Steph3007 · 20/05/2014 09:09

Thank you for your reply, and yes it really does help knowing I'm not alone as my partner is away for 3 months and that's totally how I feel. I too was in tears last night however unlike yourself I am only due to start back work in June and I'm just praying things will settle before then. This is my first baby and since the very beginning friends/family tell me it does get easier....WHEN??? I find every hurdle just as hard as the last.
I don't know if this might help but I have a friend who hired a baby whisperer and said it worked a treat with her 16 month old who had the same sleep problems, I sure she doesn't charge much either, might be worth a try, I'm definitely thinking about giving it a go.

OP posts:
AmIGoingMad · 20/05/2014 18:36

It must be really hard with your partner away for three months! At least here we're attempting alternate nights- although I really struggle to sleep through her kicking off. We have DS 3.4 too and its seems like they wake each other every night. Either he'll wake first and shout as he doesn't want to be in his room alone then that wakes her, or she wakes screaming which wakes him! It's musical beds at ours and has been for a while now. At least when I'm on DS duty he usually goes back to sleep relatively quickly!

Where did your friend find the baby whisperer? Anything is worth a try right now!!!

sososotired · 20/05/2014 20:52

My DS 9 months has always been a really bad sleeper, day and night at 6 months I reached my limit. I downloaded classical baby music for him to help him relax, also the no cry sleep solution is handy (iPhone version was great)
We are teething now so sleep is crap again but we co slept every so often just to get some rest worked a treat he had bad nights where he would come sleep with us and good nights where he would only wake up at 11ish when DH comes home from work!
I feel like you too Steph3007 being mummy is tough going I love my boy but my word he is a challenge and it's just one thing after the other! I go back to work in June so hoping that my little sleep depriver wil go back to sleeping well ish again soon!

Original poster
Steph3007 · 21/05/2014 11:48

Thank you for your messages, hopefully soon things will get better for us all. I think my friend used "the Cheshire baby whisperer" that's what it says on the dvd she's given me anyway and her name is Evelyn Burdon, might be worth a google, I think my friend said she charged £60 to come to her house to observe bedtime routine start to finish and then implement her techniques over a period of time. She uses multi-sensory sleep training. My friend said it was amazing and really worked for her son who's now 2 years old. AmIgoingMad... I really feel for you with the musical beds issue, I take my hat off to you, don't know how u do it with more than one child.
Sosotired...you are so right being a mummy is very tough going. I too love my son to bits and would not be without him but never imagined parenthood would be so challenging, the constant worry and guessing completely takes over. I can't wait till my lil man can talk to me and at least tell me what's wrong etc. I remember my own parents constantly saying to me " you'll only understand when you have kids of your own"...boy were they right!

OP posts:
sososotired · 21/05/2014 13:04

Just something to lift the spirits :)
We are obviously not alone :)

AmIGoingMad · 21/05/2014 19:06

I'll have a look at that now!

Last night wasn't so bad for me as DH was on dd duty! She was as bad as the night before tho so tonight (my night!) should be interesting again.

You're right- this whole parenting thing is so rewarding but so difficult too. Just as I feel a victory dance coming on about one thing, another challenge rears its head! And the weird thing is that I've totally forgotten how I did things with DS and it wasn't long ago at all! Feels like its the first time again!

Original poster
Steph3007 · 21/05/2014 22:20

Sosotired...after yet another bedtime battle that video really lifted my spirits!! What a find and every word so true :) x

OP posts:
sososotired · 21/05/2014 22:59

Glad it lifted your spirits :)

DS has tonsillitis so we are having crap nights he is in bed with me as I'm typing, DH is still at work and I'm just too tired to get up every hour or so!

AmIGoingMad · 22/05/2014 18:50

Just watched the video- very funny! Thanks for that!

Original poster
Steph3007 · 22/05/2014 21:33

Aww bless him tonsillitis is horrible I hope he gets better soon. Haven't had too much of a battle tonight my sister came to help and to give me a bit of a break, I walked the dog for 20 mins or so came back to find DS fast asleep yey!!!!! Sooooo grateful of the help but very disheartening at the same time as it can take upto 2 hours for me to get DS to sleep. O well partner home tomorrow for the weekend so I'm off duty (of sorts) till Monday. The weeks are so long when you're on your own living Groundhog Day over and over, will be very strange starting back work, think I need it now though for my own sanity after having nearly a year off, obviously will miss my mini man like crazy :)

OP posts:
WorkingBling · 22/05/2014 21:39

There is a 9 month sleep regression. Google it. I thought I was going to die! Have you tried putting him down a bit earlier? Sometimes they do get over stimulated and an earlier bed time can help. Good luck. It can be soul destroying.

sososotired · 22/05/2014 23:52

I found something useful!!
HV suggested no TV before bed, it over stimulates them as they can't distinguish between reality and TV gave it a shot he was listening to classic fm while playing and settled faster :) harder work for me though no distractions for him

I know what you mean with work! I love my job and ion die back in 3 weeks, super excited to be going to the real world again but my heart hurts when I think about DS at a childminder even though she is lovely!

Original poster
Steph3007 · 24/05/2014 19:52

Terrible night last night!! Put DS to bed at 7pm usual time...12:30pm he finally went to sleep! So so tiring, and he still woke at normal time around 7am so he really didn't have much sleep at all. However I thought I would just share our tactic that we've tried today. DS had his usual morning nap approx 1 hour, then we visited the grandparents Etc but we've kept him awake all day (which really isn't a hard task for our little one). We came home around 6pm and DS was truly shattered so followed our bedtime routine and put him straight to bed. Praying I'm not speaking too soon (as there's definitely time yet) but he hasn't budged since. If we have a good night then obviously our LO doesn't need to nap as much in the day if it means him getting quality sleep at night. I will give an update tomorrow, just thought it might be worth a mention as it's done the trick so far.
I have read so many times that the better a baby sleeps in the day, the better they sleep at night. Maybe this just isn't the case for my boy??

OP posts:
sososotired · 24/05/2014 20:12

All babies are so different! Maybe he just wants an early bed time?

I took a big bold step and put DS is a bed (against a wall and with a bed rail jobby on the other side so he is safe) and he bloody loves it! We've had 2 nights of 5 hour stretches which is awesome he wakes at 11:30 and at 4:3o and sleeps till 6 so my theory is that he didn't like the cot?? I'm getting criticised left right and centre about it though!

I wanted to say that it's not unusual for your DS to settle better for someone else my DS falls asleep in his bed no crying for DH but for me he screams bloody murder unless he is rocked! They just play us as they please ;)

Good luck for the night ahead I hope you all sleep well!!

sososotired · 24/05/2014 20:13

Ps maybe he was excited about daddy being there yesterday?

Original poster
Steph3007 · 24/05/2014 21:38

Could well have been yes, he is a daddy's boy :)
Congrats on your 5 hour stretches!!!!! As for the criticism I'd just let it go over your head. At the end of the day no baby comes with an instruction manual (unfortunately) and as you rightly say all babies are different so what works for one may not work for another. I have thought the same as you that maybe DS just does not like the cot. He's sleeping in a travel cot at the moment as he just constantly bangs his head on the bars in his proper one so at least we know he'll not be hurting himself in the travel one.
Hope you all sleep well too x

OP posts:
sososotired · 25/05/2014 07:13

How did u get on? Did he sleep well??

Original poster
Steph3007 · 25/05/2014 21:02

Like you wouldn't believe!!! He slept from 6pm right through til 7am...absolutely over the moon :) he's gone to bed tonight with no fuss at all again and hasn't woke since. How's things at your end?

OP posts:
sososotired · 25/05/2014 21:16

Wow I'm jealous what I wouldn't do for him to sleep through!!

Things are better, he is doing his 5 hour stretches at the moment and he hasn't slept in my bed for a few days :)

sososotired · 26/05/2014 00:59

Me and my big mouth!! He doesn't sleep 5hoir stretches he wakes every hour hour and a half tonight! Tomorrow is going to be a long day :(

Binkybix · 26/05/2014 09:19

I've got no answers, but sympathy. My 11 month old has been waking constantly , and refusing to nap, for about a m

Binkybix · 26/05/2014 09:21

Premature send! For about a month and a half now. Driving me insane. Possibly because he's got clingy. No idea - we pop him in bed with us for a slightly less crappy night.

sososotired · 26/05/2014 19:07

Binky how does your DS cope the next night with being in his own bed? I can't figure out if his crying due to teeth/illness or if he is crying because he slept with us a few nights and now that's all he wants?