CC and CIO

[Sammie8801]

This is my first post on mumsnet, I've finaly caved in and turned to forums to help me!!

My daughter has just turned 15months, dare I say that the first year was absolute bliss, she slept like a dream, falling asleep on her own, in her own cot and self soothing if she woke during night
HOWEVER...

Since her back teeth started coming through it's been a nightmare!
She went off her food and started waking for milk in the night, this then led to Co Sleeping. And now bedtime has become one great big drama! I put her down with her bedtime bottle as normal but after a few moments she just cries and it doesn't matter if I sit in her room with her, pat her to soothe her or get her in the big bed with me she just doesn't seem to want to go to sleep!
Might I also add the she doesn't particularly have a day time nap! Infact she might snooze for 5-10mins once or twice. More if we go in the car for a long journey.

I'm lost looking for guidance on how the best way to crack this bedtime tantrum.
What is the difference between Controled crying and Crying It Out? Which is the best method? How is it done properly?
All help and tips welcome...
I just want my perfect sleeper back!!

Controlled crying is going back in every few minutes to comfort them. Cio is just leaving them to self settle and not checking in on them. Depends on what you feel most comfortable with, and what works best for your dd. The website www.troublesometots.com has some info on sleep training.

Hi, you can look at the mumsnet sleep pages for details on the various sleep training methods. There are also No Cry Sleep Solution and other gradual retreat methods also, so its not just about CC and CIO. Personally I'm not a fan of crying methods as there are gentler options that will be easier on both of you. You do need to have a lot of patience and be prepared to be completely consistent whatever method you choose. I have used gradual retreat techniques with DD1 several times - we've had a lot of sleep regressions with teething and illness etc - it is very common so you are far from alone!

Does she have a good bedtime routine? She is very young not to nap and over tiredness can be a cause of night time sleep problems in itself. Will she sleep in a pushchair? Can you take her for a long walk each day at nap time? Once you establish the habit of napping you can move it to a cot nap or car if you need to go somewhere.

Is she happy in her bedroom? Do you spend any time in there other than battling over sleep issues? Some other posters have had some luck spending time playing in the bedroom - putting teddies etc to bed in her cot and so on.

At bedtime would she eventually fall asleep if you stay in the room with her - I'm talking a couple of hours of sitting next to her cot - more if necessary (armed with an iPad/a good book and a glass of wine!)?

I would try and sort naps and bedtime before dealing with night waking - even if she starts off in her cot and ends up in your bed, it will be a start. Once she is falling asleep again by herself, the night wakings may even start to resolve themselves.

It sounds like she might be overtired? For comparison, my ds was the opposite - horrific sleeper for the first year or so. Started improving once we night weaned at 10 months, got dramatically better once he was walking at 14 months (now 18mo). Part of that is getting him tired so he'll nap properly - we go for a walk/playgroup most mornings, home for nap and lunch, then something in the afternoon even if it's just going to the shop for a pint of milk then a play in the park. The other huge part that might help you was bringing bedtime forward. IMO 7pm is a great early night, not so for ds - he likes to be asleep by 5:30, wakes for a nappy change in the night (I have a fussy one!) then goes through till 7:30/8 in the morning.

He manages about 2.5-3 hours before he needs to sleep again. So I make sure I get him in the cot before he gets too tired and hysterical. If I let him have a late night, or don't give him a proper opportunity to nap (yesterday was horrible, I was counting on him sleeping in the car on the way home from a friend's house and he point blank refused!) he struggles to settle himself resulting in multiple night wakings, early starts and a tantrummy little grotbag the next day - his default setting is giggly and independent so the personality difference is marked when he hasn't slept. Daytime naps are anywhere between 1 and 3 hours from 11/11:30. It ties me to the house, but he'll drop it soon enough so I'm trying to enjoy the peace while it lasts

I'm not recommending you put your baby to bed as early as 5:30 - it still feels too early to me tbh, although it suits him - but I would suggest you look at your routine to see if there are any changes you can make. Maybe try and get on top of it for the first few days by driving; you can always drive to somewhere nice and quiet and have a snooze/read a book in the car while she naps. Then once you've got the over-tiredness under control switch to a walk in the buggy, but hopefully by then the teeth will be through and she'll be back to normal!

The other thing I do is always play the harp music from Ewan the Sheep and put him in his sleeping bag with a clean nappy on. That's the strongest signal I can send him the It's Time To Sleep Now. Sometimes he's out in minutes, sometimes he spends 30+ minutes singing to himself. If he's actually crying, I go to him so it's worth listening to what type of cry they're making before you go in. If it's not an unhappy cry, leave her be and see if she can do it herself :)

Had a much better time of getting dd to sleep tonight.
We have a good bed time routine, dinner, quiet play, bath, pjs, story book and into bed with her milk. It took 15mins of tears. I went in to her for 1min to calm her every 5mins untill she gave in and layed down.
She now fast asleep. Fingers crossed she goes through the night!
Thanks for your advice!

Just need to tackle day time naps now!
She's really not a day time sleeper though, even at nursery the most she will sleep is 20mins! And it's always at a different time of the day!