Nightmare evenings with 10 week old

[Volleyfeet]

Looking for any advice or ideas as going slowly mad!

My 10 week old DD is a nightmare every evening. Started at 3 weeks with screaming episodes lasting up to 5 hours at its worst and was diagnosed with colic. Tried infacol, warm baths, massage, slings, nothing really helped. The screaming has gradually reduced but she will not go to sleep in the evenings! Start her wind down routine about 7ish, has a bath and feed in darkened room, then swaying and shushing. She will quieten down but not go to sleep until about 9.30 and cries every time I try to change her position or sit down. End up passing her back and forwards between myself and DH all evening. If put in a sling, again she will quieten but not sleep and cries and thrashes her head around if i try to sit down.

We eat dinner in shifts and have no time together at all really as once she is asleep I try and get to bed for an hour or so before DH brings her up after last feed at 11ish (expressed bottle).

Sleeps well in daytime and will nap with minimal fuss in Moses basket so just don't understand why evenings are so awful. People keep telling me it will improve but no sign of it as yet. Does anyone else's child do this?!!

Marking my place! Sounds exactly like my 9 week old DS except I struggle to get him to sleep in the day too.

It is totally normal to have fussy evenings. Just want to eat and be held is unfortunately par for the course. It did improve at around 9 weeks for us.

mrsmugoo has your DS become difficult to settle again?

He's hit and miss tbh. He went to sleep easily at 9am this morning but it's just taken me an hour to settle him just now and he's in a really light sleep so can't be put down.

How long are you leaving it for his awake time? Are you doing a little nap routine? For example, into his room, draw the curtains, read a book and then settle to sleep how you usually would. Try to avoid feeding to sleep if you can, but at this age the actual sleeping is far more important than how they fall asleep.

Although my 9wo is usually pretty good of an evening, she is definitely fussier if she hasn't napped well in the day. Are you managing to get 4-5 hours of naps during the day?

Lots of 10 week olds are still cluster feeding, and most aren't going to bed as early as 7 yet. Have you tried just feeding her in the evenings until she falls asleep?

I'm leaving it about an hour and 15 to an hour and a half.

At home we have a settle down routine but when we go out, if he misses the window it's so hard to claw back. I don't want to feel trapped at home again, after 9 weeks I'm just starting to feel like I have a life returning!

Littlefoot - 4-5 hours you're joking! It's a good day if he does 3 naps of 45 mins to an hour.

He finds it difficult to transition to another sleep cycle as he often wakes after 45 mins

Sounds like the witching hour - which is a lot longer than an hour! Try googling it.

We had some awful evenings with our LO where he just seemed miserable and nothing would settle him.

It did pass.

If you think overtiredness isn't helping I'd do whatever you need to get him to nap longer. Try getting him to
nap no more than 90 min than waking time. Use sling, pram, whatever it takes. Once the napping improves (lengthens) then longer term you can go back to cot napping (if that's what you're doing now.

I walked about four times a day with my LO, it was a pain some days but it got better over time and he'll nap now for 90 mins in pram (not moving). We've never got past 30 min cot naps.

Sounds just like my DS who is nearly at his fourth birthday! I feel for you, I really do. It will pass, but I don't think I have any advice because I think DS just grew through it before we found any way to improve the situation. Try co-sleeping? It's an awful phase

Def sounds overtired. As they are more alert and awake for longer at this age, overtired easily. All builds up by the evening. I would second trying for longer naps even if not conventional, pram, car, on you etc.

Have tried feeding but she doesn't want to! Will take a feed at 7ish and 9ish but if I try to offer her the boob inbetween she just cries and hits it!

Naps usually about 4-5 hours a day but in segments of 45 mins to an hour. Rarely sleeps for longer than that.

Probably is the witching hour. Was just hoping for a quick fix as no signs of improvement as yet and people keep telling me it will get better as I get to 3 months!!

Thanks for the advice

This was us till a couple of months ago - DD is nearly 7 months now. I absolutely hated it, she screamed going to sleep every evening (and naps, and most of every day...). We used to do shifts and I would sleep from 7pm then effectively start my day at 1am as she cried or fed for most of the night (we were FF by then and DH was a star).

I used to get really frustrated when people said things like "it will pass", "she won't be like this forever" and "it's just a phase" etc. So I'm sorry to do this to you, but it will! I found that as she got older, I could read her better and I think I was putting her to bed too early when she wasn't tired (as a result of following a certain routine...).

She was a windy baby which didn't help and she grew out of this about 4.5 months. We also used music and sparkly lights, a rolled up towel so she felt snug and put the top I had worn that day in the crib. Do you think the swaying and shushing could frustrate her more? I know for us the more we did, the more worked up she got.

She used to scream before her sleep at night every few days till only about 2 weeks ago so it was probably not colic or similar, but she seems to have mostly grown out of it.

I remember wishing there was a magic answer but if there is we didn't find it, things just seemed to get better over time.

Hang on in there, you will get you evenings back.

At that age both of my DC stayed up in the evenings until I was ready for bed. They used to feed or lie over my shoulder while I mumsnetted If they were really yelling DH would invent some errand like the postbox and take them in the sling.
It was quite nice actually. Gradually I got them to go to sleep earlier and earlier. They were very little and not very tired at 7pm. I just used to go with the flow. You do get your evenings back eventually, honest.