5 month old awake for hours in the night

[hotcrossbun83]

Ds is 5 months and in most ways is now an easy baby (wasn't at the start!). He goes to bed at 7pm each night, self settles, and takes regular naps. He wakes for night feeds around 11 and 3 which is fine but after at least one of them, if not both, he is awake for a full 2 hours before he gets tired again (same as day time where he needs to nap after 2 hours awake).

He's been doing this for a couple of months now. I thought it was a phase but it's not going anywhere. Generally we leave him in the cot (in his own room) and he chats to himself, plays with his comforter etc and once tired he goes to sleep. But it keeps me up as he's loud on the monitor and often wants me to go in every 20 mins to say hi. He's not hungry or in pain, just wide awake.

I can't find much on this problem, he self settles fine once tired and most books etc think that's the answer to everything. I do wonder if he naps too much but he's really grouchy without them - he naps approx 9-10.30, 12.30-2.30 and 4.30-5.

Has anyone experienced this and how long did it last?

I'd do earlier naps for longer and cut out the 4:30-5 nap. It will be a struggle, but try and keep him from late napping. I think that last one from 4pm might be the culprit.
I've always refrained from going into see baby during the wee hours unless he/she is in distress. Self settling is a good to learn and it sounds like he's not screaming for your attention. Sometimes kids just babble and coo themselves back to sleep but now there's a level of expectation that has been set up, so he will expect the 'pop-in' hellos from you. You might need to take on the difficult challenge of unravelling that habit, but imo, it's worth undoing.
Lose the pop-in visits in the wee hours and lose the late nap. It will be a difficult task. You may find (as I did) that over time, one of the earlier naps becomes longer, which works much better. Be patient and determined. Good luck. (This is only my advice though and some may have better words of wisdom.) It's not easy street, that first year, but it will get better. My kids took a full year to settle into decent sleeping patterns. They're champions now. Yours will be too!

definitely cut out the 4.30 nap. he will be a bit grumpy for a few days until he gets used to it. it might also take a few days to have an impact on the nights. i'd do it for 2 weeks before judging whether it's made any difference.

if improved, but still waking, cut out the 10 am nap too.

my dd2 cut all daytime naps at 8 months! ugh

Agree with the others - cut the 4.30pm nap (or start with shortening to 30 mins).

My ds is 5 months and often starts getting tired around 4.30/5pm but not tired enough for bed IYSWIM?

So we start having quieter time then - singing rhymes, reading stories (not just short baby books - my ds loves me reading 'room on the broom' to him) or sitting watching me tidy.

Then move onto bath at around 6pm ready to get into bed things and have last milk.

I find he won't play on his playmat once tired so you do have to do all the work but he should be more tired at night that way x

Rather controversially I would suggest keeping the half hr nap in the PM, but reducing the morning one to 30-45 mins. That would cut his daytime sleep overall but might keep him happier in that long stretch between lunch and bedtime.

ooh good spot - didn't see the 1.5 hours in the morning!! def too much daytime sleep methinks.

Hot Cross this exact same thing is happening to us! When I read my husbands your post he thought I had wrote it. I just read the book "Sleep through the Night" and the only thing we have changed is not giving her the bottle right before bed. Basically as the Baby Whisperer says the E.A.S.Y routine. So the last 2 nights have been good and fingers crossed it stays that way.

Thanks everyone, seems pretty unanimous! I'll see how he goes without the 3rd nap today and maybe try that for a few days, if he can't handle the stretch I'll try to shorten the morning one. He does occasionally skip the last nap and is ok, although once he fell asleep in the bath :/ the first nap is great for me as I get stuff done but I could survive without if it meant more sleep!

Jessica, what's your bedtime routine now? We do bath, bottle, bed. But I follow easy in the day.

Hot cross we do bath, bottle, massage, little bit of play then bed. So the bottle isn't the last thing she has before bed.

How interesting that it has changed night wakings, I can't see why but if it works it works! I'll think about it, not sure how I would rearrange as he's ready to fall asleep by 6.45, so would have to move the bottle to about 6 I guess.

Our DD (10 months) has always done this. We have tried absolutely everything to try and stop it but to no avail. When she was 4-6 months it was every night, but as she gets older she goes through phases where she doesn't do it but it always starts back up again. We reluctantly accept that it's normal for her and she'll eventually grow out of it, but for now we go to bed early and DH and I take it in turns to get up with her (I do the majority as DH has to get up for work but he helps me out so it's not all on me).

Here is some info saying extended night wakings are developmentally normal.

Article explaining that a biphasic sleeping pattern is the evolutionary norm for the human race.

Hot cross our one is the same very tired by 6. When I say play I just talk to her and tonight I just put her on my chest for a few minutes.
I have read that it can be a developmental thing but I have never known any of my nieces & nephews or friends babies who have done this. Maybe our kids will grow up to be geniuses!

Update - last week we strangely had 2 nights where he settled ok at second feed, and I noticed that when he did he only slept 45 mins for first nap. Then it went back to the same, so I'm now waking him after 45 mins in the hope it will work the other way... I've tried to stop the third nap but it's hard as if we're out anywhere he just goes to sleep - pram, car, sling... I can't always be home by 4.