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Sleep

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Original poster

Helping baby to sleep

13 replies

eatplaysleep · 09/05/2014 21:23

My ds is nearly 12 weeks now. He used to feed to sleep (still does during night feed) and now needs rocking to sleep and even this needs to be whilst we stand, he won't let us sit down to rock him or in my gliding nursing chair. However I noticed my friend places her baby in Moses who will happily sit in there quietly until he eventually falls asleep. If I was to do this with ds he would just scream! Basically I want to know if my ds should be going in his basket awake by now to go to sleep and if so how I can achieve this as he really does get in a state if I put him in there awake and at the moment certainly wouldn't be able to just fall asleep on his own. So basically is she just extremely lucky or should I be trying to get ds used to falling asleep independently? Any advice welcome, or even just information on your LO's sleeping habits at this age.

TIA

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Quodlibet · 09/05/2014 21:38

My little one will sometimes go to sleep on her own and has always been this way (right from first night in hospital really) but I think she's very much in the minority of all the babies I know. Most usually I will feed her to sleep. If she's not tired she will play/babble and eventually cry if left in her cot.

Quodlibet · 09/05/2014 21:38

I count myself extremely lucky btw - it's not anything I've done right!

ChazzerChaser · 09/05/2014 21:42

My little one didn't do this till at least 9 months I'd say. But it was in no way a priority for me. Unless it matters to you, it doesn't matter. I just let mine get there in his own time. I didn't do anything to make it happen, just waited until he was ready to.

lolalotta · 09/05/2014 21:43

I think the most important thing is looking for sleepy cues from baby. With my DD if she was tired she would quite happily go off to sleep after a BF and then I would lay her in her side car crib and when she was tiny I would lay next to her in the bed but at about 12 weeks it so I would leave the room after laying her down! Sleepy cues are eye rubbing/ eyes glazing over/ looking into the distance/ going very quiet. I once read if you hear a yawn you have already missed the sleep window, so try and really learn to read your babies signals, if you google it there's lots more info on reading sleep cues in babies! Good luck!

Original poster

eatplaysleep · 10/05/2014 07:52

Thanks for the replies. I guess it's not essential to me (mainly wondering what is the general norm for this stage) although being able to put him down awake would be lovely. He's getting a big boy and in some ways him snuggling in whilst I rock him is lovely but he is getting heavy and as I say I have to do this whilst standing/walking so gets tiring. I should add sometimes I can put him in his swing when tired and he will also fall asleep so it's not like he needs me I think it's more of the motion, although I have a rocking Moses stand and this makes no difference! I will try to read sleepy cues better but at the mo to me it seems his first cue is that yawn. Before that he just seems wide awake.

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Splashyhands · 10/05/2014 08:11

We had this with dd. She slept on me during the day and in the night would sleep on me until I went to bed then gently managed to get her in the basket without waking her. When we started trying to out her down to sleep she would cry and cry. We had to walk or stand rocking her to sleep then try and get her in the basket, this used to take around 2 hours every night.

What I started to change first was the day sleeps. I would put her down in the basket or crib and sit with her, Stroking her head or face and she would gently nod off and I would tiptoe away. Once she was used to this we started doing it I the night sleeps. It took anything up to an hour to begin with, but eventually was down to about 5/10 minutes. She didn't even really cry, just used to babble to herself. If she did cry, not just niggle, I would pick her up.

She's nearly 8 months now and in her own room and I still sit with her until she falls asleep as she likes to hold my hand. It's takes maybe 5 or 10 minutes and I'm fine with that for now.

Original poster

eatplaysleep · 10/05/2014 11:04

Thanks splashyhands nice to know we're not the only ones that have had to stand to rock. I just tried putting him in his Moses basket awake for his nap. Was happy babbling for 5mins then started crying till I picked him up. Think I will try putting him down awake for each daytime nap and continue to pick up when he cries in the hope that eventually he will just fall asleep at some point. Then once daytime naps are sorted we can apply this to night times too. Wish he would just nod off with me stroking his head but no luck so far.

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Dontforgetyourbrolly · 10/05/2014 11:19

Don't shoot me but have you tried a dummy? I know some people don't like them, I was one of those people! It settles my 12 week old within seconds.....he has good day time naps and I get stuff done!

I fully intend to wean him off it by 12 months at the latest, I hope it isn't too difficult

Dontforgetyourbrolly · 10/05/2014 11:19

Oh and I forgot to say it settles him of a night and his sleep , and ours, is very good

Original poster

eatplaysleep · 10/05/2014 11:32

No I haven't tried a dummy yet. One of those things that trying to avoid if I can but wouldn't rule out completely if it would help him. Another reason I haven't is that once he is asleep he sleeps really well, whereas a friends baby settles easily with his dummy but they've had lots of night waking since his dummy falls out. I would rather he slept solidly but all the rocking gets a bit tiring after a while

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Original poster

eatplaysleep · 10/05/2014 16:02

Ok so just to update I have just put ds down to nap with no rocking, although not sure it counts as half asleep already. He fell asleep during bf, I took him off and he began to wake. I then put him in his Moses basket and sat next to him shushing and stroking his back. First 5 mins he was happy, followed by 10 mins of grizzling but not full on cry. During this I noticed him beginning to close eyes then he finally drifted off! Can't believe it. However think i only got away with him not full on crying because he had basically got to sleep previously. Will keep trying and hopefully he'll get there soon.

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Quodlibet · 10/05/2014 18:47

Oh OP another thing just going by your username - personally I can't see the logic in the eat - play - sleep order of things as babies are programmed to drop off after some milk. Mine feeds to sleep a lot of the time, but I think you are setting yourself up for hard work if you have to help them make a transition from play (exciting!) to sleep (quiet and still please). I just don't see the logic.

Original poster

eatplaysleep · 10/05/2014 20:35

Ha I can see why you might think I'm trying to follow that order from my user name quodlibet, sorry realise that is misleading but I assure you we def don't follow that routine. Have read about some believing in that routine on here but I have never been able to follow it as like your lo my ds often feeds to sleep. However tried to break the feed to sleep a little as didn't want ds solely relying on me to sleep as sometimes would not need a feed etc, I don't want to bf forever and nice for dh to take over from time to time and others if and when we fancy a night out. However, realise I'm not helping ds become a more independent sleeper as have just swapped feeding to sleep for rocking to sleep so now trying to break that cycle

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