Help me drop the 3am feed.

[TheABC]

Looking for tips & advice from other mums who have done it. DS is a big, bouncing 10 month old who regularly wakes at 11am, 3am and 6am. I am happy to breastfeed before midnight and after 6pm, but I think it's reasonable to encourage at least 5 hours of sleep during the small hours. Both myself and DH work, so we need that block of sleep! DS is still in our room in a cot attached to the bed (although he has crawled into our bed on occasion).

Can he go in his own room. He may sleep much better there? I remember the night my LO went in her own room she slept for hours!!

Hi Claire. It's something I am mulling over, but if he does not settle I could still be getting up several times a night. At least I get to stay in bed at the moment (maximise rest) I was hoping to nudge him towards a decent block of sleep before moving rooms. What gave you the confidence to try it?

Move him to his own room to start with. Put up with going in to him for a while till he gets used to it. Then offer a bottle of water instead of a feed in the night. Get DH to do this if possible, so he doesn't smell your milk. Water is boring so he may not bother to wake up and ask for it.

This worked for us. Good luck.

I read a fab article about doing this, which essentially advised doing things gently. So pick your hours of rest (sounds like 12-6) and on nights 1-3, refuse to feed milk during those hours. You can give water, cuddle, sing, whatever, but no milk until 6.01! After that, they get a hand hold and a sshhh for a few nights, and beyond that a cursory "hey I'm still around". The article said, you will get rage and tears and shouting, as for 10m baby has had their fave drink available freely, on demand, and now you are stopping that. That thought helped when dd was shrieking her way through the small hours. They are cross, but warm, loved, cuddled, hydrated. Good luck!

Thanks, bigpig. Dr Jay Gordon's article? I am going to give it a try, once the current bout of teething has finished!

Yes! The very one. I sat there nodding as I read it. Good luck!

My husband had to help with this one. My DD would not take no for an answer if it were me. And she was waking 6-8 x for feeds a night so it was an extreme case.

So could you either swap sides in the bed or put your DS in his own room and your husband go in during the night instead?

It took us about 5 nights, but then my DD was sleeping 9 hours straight (8pm til 5am), then we extended the morning feed to 6 then 7 and eventually got a full night sleep. There were a few tears but she was never alone. Here's my blog post on how we did if you're interested. mydaughterwontsleep.com/2014/02/06/is-breast-best-when-it-comes-to-sleep-apparently-not/
Good luck

We put dd in her own room at 6 months and it made no difference, she was having feeds at roughly the same time as your ds. She is 7.5 months.

I decided to knock the 11pm fees on the head and did it by soothing her back to sleep (head stroking etc) or, if she really can't settle I will pick her up and let her fall asleep on me like she would with a feed. My rule is no milk before 1 am.

We've been doing this for a week, I haven't fed her when she has stirred at 11, we've had 2 nights where settling her has been really longwinded but she was also teething quite heavily those nights. Most nights I've soothed her quickly and she has slept until after 2, had a feed then slept until 6 or 7. Once we've got this sorted I'm going to tackle the 2 am feed.

I felt confident because she is only next door, I can hear her when she cries and we also have a monitor. It felt strange for a few nights but then lovely as we all got some rest!

Marking place. We are going to do this though after we've dropped the midday feed.

I'll need to build DH's resolve though. Dd can fight v hard (he stroking will no cut it, she's more likely to shout for hours) and although he's tried, after 15 mins or so he tends to come back and ask me to feed her!

Dougal i took a spare mattress into dds room once we had decided to go for it, and just lay on the floor next to her and listened to her shout. The only thing that would have shut her up was milk, and that was the only thing she was not getting! I can remember, with about 5 mins to go until I was "allowed" to feed her, thinking "fuck it" but held out, only for her to flake out and sleep for 4 hours