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Original poster

Teaching baby to self settle?

13 replies

Rtfairy · 09/05/2014 13:25

My 5.5 month old cannot self settle I have to rock and cuddle her to sleep and put her down once properly asleep. Up until a few weeks ago this wasn't a problem as she slept 10-11 hours through the night. However she is now waking every 1-2 hours, sometimes even more frequently and it takes ages to get her back to sleep, half the time she wakes up again as soon as she's put down and we're back where we started! is this normal?! please help am so so sleep deprived Sad

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NickyEds · 09/05/2014 14:16

Marking my place. DS (20 weeks)will sleep through the night but needs endless feeding/rocking/head stroking to nap. I've had several friends talk of putting their babies into their cots, in the day, awake and just leaving them to sleep. DS goes apeshit if left in his cot to sleep in the day!

ReluctantCamper · 09/05/2014 14:23

I found the Good Sleep Guide by Angela Henderson really helpful.

This may not be where you're going wrong, but I was picking DS up again far too soon, before he'd had a chance to self settle. I wasn't OK with leaving him to cry, so I ended up doing a really micro version of controlled crying. I would put him down and strictly time myself for 30 seconds before picking him up. Then it would be a minute, then one minute 30 seconds and so on. By the time I got to 5 minutes he was normally asleep. However, DS has his daddy's genes and actually loves to sleep, I was just stopping him by picking him up to much, so this may not work for everyone!

Good luck.

Original poster
Rtfairy · 09/05/2014 14:46

Thanks Reluctantcamper that's really helpful. How long did it take to work? My baby will scream her head off if I don't pick her up immediately!

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Littlef00t · 09/05/2014 17:30

Does she sleep if out in the pram?

I've managed to get my nap reluctant 8wk to sleep in the carry cot by taking her out for each nap. She will now sleep with just a short rock, hoping to reduce this until will just sleep when put in cot.

Original poster
Rtfairy · 09/05/2014 18:22

Yes she will sleep in pram/carseat/swing sometimes but I'm trying to stop her relying on motion to go to sleep and self settle like she could 2-3 months ago

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hotcrosshunny · 09/05/2014 19:21

Babies change and sometimes they need you more than others. This is life. She won't be like this forever.

It sounds like a sleep regression or growth spurt. Do you feed her when she wakes? There's s big growth spurt around this age.

Every now and then try your old routine and give her a chance to self settle. That's how I got dd there.

Original poster
Rtfairy · 09/05/2014 20:39

Ah thank you. It's encouraging to think that this could just be a phase, I worry too much that we will still be the same for months or even years to come. of course I know this is life and I will do whatever I can to help her. It's just hard when me and DD are both so tired during the day from lack of sleep, feel we should be out and about attending baby groups but I just have no energy at the moment Sad

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hotcrosshunny · 09/05/2014 21:08

Of course it is a phase.

However you need to try every now and then do see if she will settle.

I will add - it is easy for me to say as I have two so know it is a phase. But I remember the despair at lack of sleep so so well.

TeaAddict235 · 09/05/2014 21:25

marking place as DS is the same, albeit at 13wo.

He screams blue murder if we put him down before he's asleep. We're trying to get him to self soothe and it is really challenging, we regret not starting earlier. I actually despair how long this is going to take, days, weeks or months. Can any of you remember how long it took you?

Anywhichway · 09/05/2014 21:30

I actually started swaddling at 20 weeks. She just couldn't go off. Great sleeper to an absolute shite one.

It lasted about a month , actually caused more trouble as couldn't even go ff in her pram with out being tied up!

When I started putting her down to self sooth I put her in her bassinet and called some one on my phone and chatted away over her. Must have been my idol gossip but she drifted off. Then I started to out her down in her cot.

ReluctantCamper · 09/05/2014 22:22

if you're not BF, you could try a dummy? (I think they're not recommended when BF). I found it really helped DS to settle, and popping it in his mouth gave me something to do that wasn't picking him up and waking him up all over again. The cherry teat ones are best, DS couldn't keep the orthodontic type ones in his mouth (he's 3 now and his teeth are fine btw!).

At about 7 weeks we decided that we wanted DS to sleep in the evenings, so started doing a bedtime routine and feed and putting him in his cot at about 7pm. (not adhering to SIDS guidelines, you could try a quiet corner of your sitting room if you're more comfortable with that). It took about 3 weeks of DH and I taking turns to run up and down the stairs to stroke forehead and replace dummy, but we eventually realised that we were putting him down and not seeing him again until he woke for his 10.30 feed.

The final thing to bear in mind is getting into some sort of feeding routine so you know your baby is getting a good amount of milk during the day, so you're comfortable that they're not crying through hunger in the night.

These things worked for me, but the advice that it's just a phase is also really good. I do remember the despair that I'd never get a full night's sleep again - you will you know!

Original poster
Rtfairy · 10/05/2014 08:53

Thanks for all replies, my DD actually slept at my mum's last night so I could get some rest and she only woke up once for a bottle at 12ish. This makes it clear that I am doing something wrong but what?! Obviously going to talk to my mum about what she did but I'm so very confused she slept 10.5 hours waking up only once!

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Original poster
Rtfairy · 11/05/2014 09:12

Well glad to say it seems it was a phase. Last night she self settled with no crying and slept until 7am with a quick bottle at 2am. Just self settled nicely for morning nap too. Feel very relieved after 3 weeks of sleepless nights, will try to remember it is just a phase when/if next time it happens!

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