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Once a co sleeper, always a co sleeper?

19 replies

LavalavalavaLamp · 05/05/2014 22:20

The last few nights I have been co sleeping with DD 4wo. It's been great in a way, I've had a reasonable amount of sleep and got my sanity back (almost) after she stopped staying settled in her Moses basket. I don't think I want to do this forever though, has this happened to anyone else? Did your DC ever go back in the basket in the night?

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Poshers · 06/05/2014 10:02

I co slept from birth! Was terrified I had set it in stone Shock however after 4 months I had enough & he went straight in cot with routine & perseverance ... I NEVER thought he would manage it.

As with most of baby world I think it all comes with maturity for them. Google 4th Trimester my DS was 100% textbook on this. He is still hugely clingy (only 5.5mths) but every day gets better or I just accept it more! Blush

You can change anything with perseverance!

kazza446 · 06/05/2014 10:18

My ds is just 4 months too, co slept with me from 2 weeks old. First few months we had to sleep together and he wouldn't settle unless we were touching. For past few weeks he has started sleeping in his own cot. He still needs settling to sleep with a feed and usually wakes up once in night for feed but will go straight back down again once fed. He actually seems more content in his own bed now and appears to get frustrated if his space is restricted. I wouldn't worry about it. Enjoy it!!

mummy2pickle · 09/05/2014 16:41

I've had to co sleep with my baby since 2 weeks, she's only 5 weeks now. I had to do it for the same reasons, she wouldn't settle in Moses or anywhere other than my arms, so I had to co sleep to get any kind of sleep myself. I have a couple of days ago swapped Moses for a crib as lo is long baby so she didn't fit. she is starting to settle one stretch between feeds in Crib but I still have her in my arms for first couple of hours and then after 6am feed! I hate it but I find myself crying with her when she screams in early hours because she's been put in Moses/crib as I am absolutely exhausted. so I know how you feel, and like hearing people say to continue co sleeping. I will actually try to get her in Crib for longer

fflonkl · 09/05/2014 16:48

Not only did we co-sleep, but DD slept on my chest from about 5 weeks to 4-5 months (moses basket was an utter waste!). Then she graduated to her cot bed but we spent most of night in the same bed on/off till she was about 11 months, when I panicked about starting work and decided she had to start sttn. She's now 13+ months and sttn in her cot, unless if she has a bad cold/teething, at which point we may or may not co-sleep depending on how bad it is.

At 4wo I wouldn't worry about it - they're only little for so long and soon your DD won't want to sleep with you anymore! (I never believed people when they said this, but it's true!)

Good luck!

ColdTeaAgain · 11/05/2014 21:19

fflonki - how did you get your LO to sleep in her own bed? We're in quite similar situation to yours, DD did sttn for a few blissful weeks but since 6 months has been truly awful. Life is generally quite stressful (OH's work etc) so we gave in to cosleeping as a survival tactic!

She used to happily go down in her own bed for the first few hours but now won't last longer than an hour and after that Will. Not. Settle.

I really don't want to cosleep much longer, going back to work and I need some baby free time!

luckiestgirlintheworld · 12/05/2014 18:26

I co- slept for the first few weeks because it was easier- then one night I fancied stretching out in bed so put DS in his basket to see how he would react and he slept fine. Been in basket (next to bed) ever since.

I think he just wanted to co sleep in those first newborn weeks (first month-ish) while he was getting used to the world. Once he was used to what sleep was all about he was fine with me moving him to his basket and if he woke up slightly in that move it didn't bother him.

claraschu · 12/05/2014 18:38

We co slept with all of ours (older teens now). It was so lovely that we slept with them until they were 2 or 3 years. That wasn't what we planned, but it turned out to be so much easier for us, also the babies were so happy and easygoing.

We had a super king mattress on the floor, with a small mat next to the big bed, and it really worked for us.

fflonkl · 13/05/2014 21:43

ColdTeaAgain 6 months was the start of the worst time for us unfortunately - DD used to wake up every two hours then and like your DD, she would start off in her cot. I persevered in putting her back in her cot but after having to wake up one too many time would often succumb and co-sleep - that happened pretty much every night! I went with the view that at least she slept in her cot part of the night even if we did end up co-sleeping most of the times.

Anyway what really worked for us (so far!) is the method on this thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/sleep/1394888-What-worked-for-us-Hope-this-helps

We did see results pretty quickly (by night 3 she went for 10 hours straight, IIRC), but she didn't consistently sttn for a while, and also went through a phase of waking up at 3am and taking up to 2 hours to settle! BUT - the good news is that even then when she was asleep she slept in her cot.

ColdTeaAgain · 14/05/2014 14:40

Thanks for the link fflonkl. Will definitely be giving that a read later!

Just to clarify, did you start this method at around 11 months?

fflonkl · 14/05/2014 19:29

Yes that's right. I'm not sure if it would have worked for DD at an earlier age as we traveled a lot and she was a bit of a velcro baby but I think some people have tried it with younger babies.

Good luck!

ColdTeaAgain · 14/05/2014 21:29

Thanks! Velcro baby, perfect description!

PhoneSexWithMalcolmTucker · 14/05/2014 21:55

I coslept with both of mine in order to maximize sleep and, well, because it was nice :) DS was mostly in our bed until he was about 7 months old, but he's six now and I honestly can't remember how we did that Blush DD was the most determined cosleeper ever - she would not sleep anywhere but next to me, just as she would not drink from a bottle or take a dummy. She was a terrible sleeper too. I was a zombie. And then for some reason of her own, she just decided she wanted to sleep in the cot and that was it. I think it was when we moved her into a room with DS - she was about 10 months.

At just weeks old, they are so tiny. They really don't know anything other than you. They still think they are part of you...if you want or need to cosleep, just go with it :) I know for me it was a very special part of the baby years.

Munxx · 14/05/2014 21:58

I have just stopped cosleeping with my son. He resolutely coslept from the 4 month sleep regression until 20 months. I was getting a bit fed up of it as he was feeding all night and we were just keeping each other awake. So I tried his cot, and he went straight down with no fuss and now does 7-7 with the occasional wake up for a cuddle. Nothing short of a miracle.

SueH17 · 15/06/2014 21:56

Not sure if anyone will read this, but I would say I have to agree with the subject title - once a co-sleeper, always a co-sleeper! Only I wouldn't admit to it as so many people are so against it. I started off co-sleeping with my DS after a difficult and traumatic birth and as it was so much easier to feed on my side after a 3rd degree tear, my DS stayed in bed with us. He was very happy with that and we made sure he was safe. Then at 3 months after pressure to get him moved out of our bed, we tried him in a cot next to the bed and I then spent the next 3 months putting him in and out of the cot every time he woke up - and he woke 1-2 hours every night and sometimes wouldn't even go back to sleep in there after feeding. I was permanently exhausted from lack of sleep. It was funny what made me realise as we went on holiday and he slept in our bed in a caravan as it was so cold and we didn't have a travel cot. And get this - it was the best night's sleep I had for over 3 months !! So when we got home it was straight back in to bed with him!! And he has been there ever since. At 7 months he shows no sign of wanting to go back to sleeping in his cot at night, although he will go there for his day time naps. As a family we are all very happy with co-sleeping for the time being and I actually regret trying to move him out in the first place.
PS: I recommend the book 'Three in a Bed', by Debbie Jackson. Very interesting. She takes a controversial topic and turns it on its head!

Flisspaps · 15/06/2014 22:00

DS is 2. He no longer co-sleeps Wink he was in my bed from birth-9mo though, when he went into his cot.

sweetkitty · 15/06/2014 22:09

Have co slept with all four of mine to at least a year/15 months.

All four went into their own cot first then their own room quite easily (also coincided with finishing BFing).

All four sleep great now very rarely up in the night.

I would say don't worry too much do whatever it takes to get you the most sleep, you can sort it out much later on

ILoveCoreyHaim · 15/06/2014 22:24

Co slept with all of mine. DD3 is still in my bed, even if I put her in hers she ends up in mine. She often chooses to go in hers (says she's a big girl now) but jumps in mine through the night If she wakes up. Sometimes I find DD2 9 has also jumped in. I don't mind as I am a SP. I'm sure I could get them in their own beds if I insisted they stayed there or made them go back to theirs.

ILoveCoreyHaim · 15/06/2014 22:25

DD3 is 5 Shock

Kewrious · 15/06/2014 22:35

Co slept for a year. At 8 months deliberately stopped all feeding, cuddling and patting to sleep. Would feed, then tuck him in and say, 'night night by yourself'. I would sit there but at a distance with my iPad on the same bed. Did it for three months so he got how to fall asleep on his own. Then bought a cot and let him explore it in the day time. Then at night, put him down in it (foot of our bed) and said, 'night night by yourself'. Cried for 10 mins but I stayed right by him saying the same phrase and patting him. Then sat a bit further away with the iPad till he fell asleep. Night 2 he cried for 3 mins. And now loves it. When he was 18 months we reduced the time we sat with him before he fell asleep. Now we are there for 15 mins, and then we walk out and he puts himself to sleep (2.4 years). Also we taught him that he wasn't to come into our bed unless we gave him permission. I loved co sleeping but now when he is ill and I bring him into the bed, he tosses and turns and by 2 am is begging me to go back to his cot and sleep in peace (he has good speech, so 2 weeks ago he was not well, put him in my bed, DH in the guest room, settled down for a snuggly sleep and a voice said, 'Mummy you disturb me. I go back to my cot. Night night.'

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