Dummy addiction preventing sleep?

[CookieTramp]

Like another thread I see on here. I feel broken. Ds2 is 5mo and the sleep... There is not really any sleep. Last night he went 7-10, then awake at 12.30, 1, 1.20, 1.45, 2.15, 3-6.30, then slept only 20 mins more.

I can't survive like this. Literally, I can't. I feel next to nothing for him this morning and it is making me panic.

He did sleep ok for a few weeks (2-3 wake-ups, which I could handle) and I think it is reliance on the dummy. I read Tracey Hogg's book last night and she talks of dummy misuse. That if they rely on it too much they wake up when it falls out of their mouth because it feels odd not to have it there. He does want the dummy back in, over and over.

Please don't talk about the dummy holders that go in the cot. He can't get the dummy in himself during the day so won't be able to do it at night either. I think lack of sleep is holding him back as he still doesn't turn over, etc. I don't think anything is wrong with him. My instinct is that it is lack of sleep. Daytime sleeps are only 20-30 mins at a time too, three times a day. He has a huge sleep deficit.

Anyone got any experience of dummy addiction? Should we go cold turkey? How will he get to sleep without it?

Please help!

Unfortunately no advice but huge amounts of empathy. DS is a month behind your DC and has been through the milk; reflux and early teething means that his dummy is the ONLY thing that will calm him.

Our nights are not quite as bad as yours, but the dummy reliance during the day is driving me crazy. He, like your DC, won't nap without it and naps usually last all of 20minutes until I need to go in and replace the sodding thing.

As soon as he recovers from teething (ugh-we're on week two of hell), we're going cold turkey-I can't think of any other way to resolve this.

If you read my post about crying it out, you will see I was in same boat as you. I used to use dummy to get my baby to sleep easily. However, he didn't always need it. But I suspected it was causing him to wake a lot in the night. I decided to stop giving it to him and let him cry a little. I was lucky though, bc he didn't cry much and after two days I can put him down for naps w no crying. Instead he moves around a lot w eyes closed to find comfy position and all a sudden stops and is asleep.

I understand not everyone baby will be as easy to take dummy away. But you never know until you try. I suggest try going cold turkey and try it out. Start when you know he is most tired and able to sleep. Make sure you do nice bed time routine so he sleepy and when you put him down say it sleepy time and do what you normally do....but no dummy and walk out. If he cries, wait five mins before going in. Then go in and comfort him by patting and shh shh. Try to help him find comfy position and walk out. This time wait ten mins before going back in. I was lucky thatmy son didn't cry much when I first put him down w out dummy and he improved pretty fast.

Obviously if it doesn't work and your baby gets too stressed, try something else. But you never know. It might not be too bad unless you try. Give him something else for comforter like muslin cloth or soft toy. I have both for my son and a musical toy that I pull string when I walk out.

What are his feeds like in the night?.

My two were there same and and I went cold turkey both times, at around 5 months. Can't remember what I done with DS, but DD is 9 months so much fresher in my memory. I lay her on the bed with me and just held her hand and shushed her until she went to sleep. She cried a lot the first night, but it got less and less every night. Being beside her for comfort felt better to me than leaving her in her cot or doing pick up put down. I just left her to sleep on our bed and then DH put her in her cot when we went to bed.

Laid, not lay - I don't do it anymore!

Reading mamabears post has reminded me we done pick up, put down, cry down with DS, which is pretty much the same as what she describes. It worked for us too.

Thanks Authoress. I think laying next to him appeals more than the frustrating round of PUPD but... You say you got DD to sleep that way and then your DH put her in her cot later... This rather suggests there were no further wake-ups?!

DS goes to sleep OK at the start but then wakes up countless times per night needing his dummy. Did your DD not do that? If not, why were you going cold turkey? If she did wake up lots in the night, what did you do at that point?

Mamabear, I don't think I can let him cry in the night :-(. He has screams that are incredibly piercing (never heard anything like it!) and we have a small house, so I can't have Ds1 waking up when he has school etc.

hacked, he doesn't take much in the night when he wakes up. He takes 8fl oz at dream feed but no more than 1-2fl oz in the night. I don't think it's hunger waking him up.

Hi there,

My DD1 did the same at around that age, and reading other threads, it seems very common to have a major sleep regression/problem at about that age.

In terms of losing the dummy, have you read the No Cry Sleep Solution? It has a method for gently weaning from dummy/bottle/breast that is often referred to as the "Pantley Pull Out" or PPO. It worked for my DD1 at six months. Took about a week until she fell asleep without the dummy at naps and bedtime and then wasn't bothered about having it during the night. You should be able to find details if you google it but basically, you let them fall asleep with it, and once they are asleep try to gently remove the dummy. If they stir, you wait a few more seconds and try again. Keep trying until they give up the dummy. Then, each night, try and remove the dummy earlier and earlier. I also only gave it to my DD at the last minute so by the end she would suck it about three times then allow me to remove it. After that I was able to pat her to sleep in a few minutes.

However, her sleep issues didn't end with giving up the dummy I'm afraid and I had to do a lot of gradual withdrawal with her as well - but then I kept getting too tired and giving up and going back to bad habits (not the dummy though - having got rid of it, I never let her have it again!).

So worth giving up the dummy to see if it helps, but don't expect miracles. Hopefully his sleep will improve anyway once he gets past this (hideous!) phase.

Ok here's my feedback report. Going well! We got through the night with no dummy. I let him suck on my little finger to calm him, then straight into patting and shushing.

Today, though, I've let him have the dummy to calm him (what difference, I figure?!) then pull it gently out after a minute, before he's properly asleep. I also wrote a system on the wall (I've been too tired to be completely consistent about pre-sleep routine) so that we all do exactly the se thing each time. It was roughly the same but not exactly.

Second nap just started with no bother. I'm sure it will get tougher soon but not too bad so far! Maybe the sleep will improve. Who knows?!

Sorry for the late reply! The first couple of dummy free nights were difficult as she'd still wake looking for it, but we just held her until she went back to sleep. After that the dependence seemed to be broken and she started sleeping longer and longer.

We took the dummy away quite quickly when the multiple night wakings started - that was exactly how it began with my DS and ended with him waking at least 10 times a night for the dummy so I was determined we weren't going down that road again.

Hope it's all going well, seems positive so far! You'll be relieved you done it very soon - I love my sleep so could never be one of those people who don't mind getting up a few times in the night to put the dummy back in.

cookie tramp, perhaps start with naps during the day? thats what i did and my son didnt cry much at all. and when you put your baby down for the first sleep of the night. the rest of the night...if baby wakes...try to shsh or hold etc. anything but dummy.

I haven't read all the replies so sorry if I'm repeating anything. Your LO sounds just how mine did. He's a real dummy fiend! I always planned to take it off him at 6mo and now at 9mo he still has it. I try and restrict it to naps only. I know you say about dummy holders but our life saver was a 'Sleepytot bunny' from Amazon. Its a bunny that you attach 4 dummy's on to its paws. I gave it to my DS at 5 mo and yes it took him awhile to realise how it worked and to do it himself but by 6mo he was. Now I never have to put it in for him and he can effectively 'self-soothe'. Worth a try?