4 month old needs a routine...where do I start???

[sprite25]

I posted a while ago about how to get my DD into a bit of a routine I got some good advice and people told me about the EASY routine but DD couldn't seem to get to grips with it so I figured she was just too young. Fast forward to now and I think at 19 week's she should be in a routine as when I try to get her to sleep in the day, even when she's tired she will fight and scream. I think it will help if she she knows when she usually has a nap then she won't fight it. She's rather sporadic with feeding too, sometimes having 7 ounces with a 4 hour gap til the next feed or having a few ounces here and there with only a couple of hours in between. Just looking for some guidance on where to start really?? Sorry for the long post.

do you have a prenap routine? could you try a shorter version of the bedtime routine? Can't help with the formula sorry, as bf my LO, but found the prenap routine works.

You start at the very beginning, a very good place to start ;)

It sounds like she's getting overtired because she's awake too long. Some babies can't cope with 4 hourly feeds because they can't cope with being awake for more than 2 hours and then sleeping 2 hours. So you set a wake up time (ish) and then count 2 hrs max and pop her down for a sleep. Then feed when she wakes. And wait 2 hours and down for a sleep (hopefully a long one). Feed when she wakes. 2 hours and a sleep (short nap). Feed. 2 hours and then bedtime.

Sleep cues might be location, being undressed or put into grobag, a special sleep comforter muslin/cuddly toy, music, patting, shushing, a sleepy phrase etc.

I find with DD who is roughly the same age that she will drift off nicely if she's not too tired. If she is then I have to feed and cuddle her to sleep.

No I feel like I haven't done a very good job on that department, in the day when she seems tired I just try to cuddle her and settle/rock her to sleep but she fights it and ends up crying and screaming, I know something so simple as getting her to nap shouldn't be stressful but it is for both of us. At night I take her in the bedroom and sit on the bed cuddling her in the same way and she will just settle down. I do cuddle/rock her to sleep which I know she should be able to self settle by now but only have enough mental strength to tackle one thing at a time.

Nom thanks for putting it simply I'm still suffering from baby brain and I'm a 1st timer so I'm going on trial and error with most things DD related. Sometimes she will only stay down for a 20 minute nap sometimes it will be a couple of hours do I just let her sleep for as long as she wants? How do you work it around leaving the house as I have to go out at different times of the day sometimes and she won't always sleep in her pram? Sorry for all the questions just hate seeing DD so unsettled and grumpy all the time

Firstly, don't beat yourself up. You've not done anything wrong and there can be a lot of different reasons behind why a baby will sleep/not sleep and feed/not feed. There's no reason for you to feel guilty.

Babies this age will usually want a nap after about 2 and a half hours of being awake. My dc2 is also four months and at the moment I'm waiting around that time before trying to get him to nap, if he hasn't already got a bit grisly. If they get overtired it can be really difficult to get them settled. She might even self settle if you pop her down before she's really tired.

Feeding can be a real pain and I don't have an answer, but could you maybe try writing down what she has and when to see if there's a pattern to her feeding?

fobbly thanks for the reassurance, I try not to feel guilty but dread trying to get her to nap as she gets in a state and I find myself feeling impatient and frustrated (just to add I would never lose my temper though) I think the 2 to 2 hlf hour Mark is where I need to start as she gets up and goes to bed roughly the same time and is fairly good at night it's just the daytime

Try to encourage her to sleep longer but also work out why she's waking. Hunger? Cold? Noise? If you know you need to go out then getting her to sleep in her pram is probably a priority.

Most of us do it on the fly. There's no foolproof way ;)

There is no 'should'. I wasted so much time stressing about my now 8 month old so sleeping, it's not worth it.

At that age mine had about four 30 min naps a day. Some I rocked off, some in pram, some in car seat. I've never pushed self settling (have in fact just fed him to sleep now) and, having been horrific to get to sleep at four months, he is now much easier.

All this to say don't stress. If she is having naps, regardless of how, I would personally go with it. She is still so teeny, and going through a big development leap right now.