On my knees

[bumpieonamission]

Please can I have some advice which is not controlled crying or top up of formula .

Back ground- lo is 13.5 weeks, he was 2 weeks early and 6lb 4oz. Now he is a thriving 12lb 5oz bouncing, happy bubba. Exclusively breastfed and very good at it. Dummy given early on as comfort sucker. Will go to sleep in the evening with it but does not really want/need it in the night and only when tired during the day.

He used to sleep from 7:30/8:30pm after being put down drowsy but not asleep to 1:30/2:30 then wake again at 5:30/6:30 then sleep till 7ish. When he woke he fed on one side, put down drowsy and slept well.

During the day he usually sleeps about two hours after waking for around an hour, this is either in his chair, crib or on me. He then has a cat nap around 11 and sometimes a long nap (2.5/3.5hrs) in the afternoon. He then had another cat nap at 5ish which gets him through to bath, feed, story and bed. Sometimes he doesn't have such a long nap but this is a usual pattern.

After his 8wk jabs he was quite poorly with fever, d&v etc and generally miserable for three days. After that his sleep changed, he still sleeps from 8:30/9:00 to midnight but then feeds every 1.5 to 2.5 hours till 7 when he is full of the joys of spring!!

I am on my knees, all of his peers are sleeping through i.e 8-7 even if they are ebf.

please help because I really need this to change. I was going to wait till after his last jabs for a routine but I am not coping and considering ff but really don't want to.

Help!

Sorry, I know how awful lack of sleep is, but I really don't believe all your son's peers are sleeping through at this age. I think some mums just say that.

Maybe your son is having a growth spurt, in which case he'll want feeding frequently until the growth phase passes. It sounds as if he is sleeping well in the day - can you catch up on sleep then? My DS1 didn't sleep at all in the day when he was a baby , but I trained him to take a midday nap and that was when I would catch up on sleep. I prioritised it over everything else except eating. Became a very good cat napper, which has stood me in good stead.

You could try cuddling him instead of feeding him, but I'm afraid this never worked for me as DS1 wanted milk.

Lack of sleep is hellish and having somebody tell you that it's just a phase is not what you want to hear, I know. When I did it the second time around, i was much pushier about accepting or asking for favours from friends/family, so that I could catch up on sleep whilst they cuddled my baby. Is there any chance you could do this?

Is he actually feeding or comfort sucking? If he is actually feeding I would say growth spurt too. I know it's not much comfort, but it will end. Offer the breast more in the day to try and make him need less through the night.

If he is comfort sucking, try patting and shushing for a few minutes before picking him up to feed. He might settle.

I wouldn't give up on bfing, it sounds like you are doing great. Babies will go through phases where they need to feed more to up your supply so they can grow. Once your body has caught up, things should settle down. Sorry you are finding it so hard op.

Totally agree with the other poster that the mins saying the peers are sleeping 8-7 are lieing. Maybe one or two of them at most but not all.

Also agree that it is nonsense that all the other babies are sleeping through, we had one baby in our NCT group that started sleeping 7/8 hours (from 10.30 ish to somewhere between 5.30 and 6.30) most nights at around that age and we were all amazed! None of the others slept through the night (i.e. 11 - 5/6, let alone 7 - 7) for much longer and most didn't drop a dream feed until at least 6 months. All were BF, although some were mixed fed (not the good sleeper though!).

Sometimes I think it is a lot harder when you have expectations that their sleep should be better than the reality - my advice is to just go with it, it sounds like you are doing brilliantly with getting DS to self-settle so well done! We did a lot of co-sleeping which really helped me and agree that you should try and catch up wherever you can. Otherwise I recommend mainlining chocolate - its got me through the last two years and we're now on DD2!!

Thanks guys. I was feeling so low but it helps to know I have a 'normal baby'.

My new mantra may be 'normal is fine, there isn't a problem'!!

It will get better right?

Sorry op I didn't mean to be short in earlier post, was pushed for time.
What you are doing is brilliant, and yes it does get easier..I think the best way of looking at it is too think that they are only babies for a short while and soon you will look back on the baby phase fondly! Everything does pass and take everything other people say with a pinch of salt..

My six month old does what your does! In fairness, this is a new thing and i suspect a growth spurt, but I'm with you on feeling the tiredness. We tend to take him into our bed about 2am, and it does help. It will get better, and it might get worse again. But your baby is just doing what babies do.

Thanks. With growth spurts though, how long are they supposed to last for?

I already miss the tiny baby stage, although exhausting, I do think I'll miss the baby stage. I love just staring at him still and love him despite his crap sleeping!

I do love co sleeping though. perhaps I'll go back to that too.

All of his peers are not sleeping through I guarantee it! You are doing a fab job.

Babies move the goalposts all the time. They get ill, they teeth, they have growth spurts and developmental leaps and all of that affects their sleep and is perfectly normal.

My DD did do 12h with no feeding at about 4m but got worse from there. It wasnt the weaning though as she got worse then. Although difficult to say why between comfort feeding when teething to tummy issues from soya allergy.
She did 12h from 11m. And is pretty reliable as long as not teething or eating soya. Now 23m.

Thanks all. Bit of a better night. I went to bed with him at 9 and he only fed twice. Annoyingly, I've woken with a head ache not from too much sleep I hope