Hi
My 11 year old dd has trouble sleeping.
She says that she is scared of the dark and will often call for me in the middle of the night. If she has a nightmare she can be very hard to settle afterwards and gets herself into a panicked state where she insists she can't sleep without me. However, there is no room for me in her bed, nor is there room to set up another bed in her small room.
11 years of broken sleep is getting wearing and I am torn between wanting to help her (I have tried everything I can think of, including sleep diaries - says it doesn't work; and relaxing music on a cd - says it is boring) and also needing to get some sleep myself.
Part of me feels that since I have tried every way to help her that I can think of, it may be time to just say that she has to find her own way to deal with it. Hard though it is to walk away when she says she needs me in the night, there seems little I can do, and I am also worried that if she continues to rely on calling me at night that she will never learn to settle on her own, face her fears of the dark and learn to get over them.
She has a set bedtime routine...
No computer games after dinner (to avoid overstimulation)
Reading time with downloadable books in bed
Sunset/sunrise lamp
Nightlight
Small pets in her room (for company, because she says she gets lonely)
Yet even if I manage to get her off to bed on time - 8pm - she is often still awake at 10 or 11. I also find it hard to sleep at night and am often awake for a couple of hours after I go to bed, so unfortunately I can't think how to help her in regards to that one.
Is the "cry it out" technique recommended by health visitors for babies still applicable when they are almost in their teens? I don't want her to feel abandoned or that I'm not there for her, but part of me feels she needs to start to grow up and be a little more independent.
Anyone else in this situation or found a solution for it?
Thanks