3 year old 11pm bedtime!

[08liverpool]

Hi DD is turning 3 in two weeks and I'm having problems with sleeping
Currently her routine is
Awake 08:30
Nap 13:30-15:00
Bedtime 21:00
The problem is shes up until 23:00 every night. She'll just play in her bed/ keep running to the toilet (not actually doing any pee...just to play i fink)
With her naps i sit with her for 15mins before to Keep reminding her to close her eyes, stop fiddling etc. And if she doesnt fall in asleep by abt 45mins (14:00) i don't give her a nap.
If she doesnt have a nap she'll be fast asleep by 20:30 but then everytime this has happened she'll wake up at 1:00ish crying. And be awake for 2 hrs!
I'm not sure what to do anymore. Any help appreciated.

Although ds is only 20 months were having a very similar situation. With a nap refuses to got to sleep without a nap wakes for ages in the night. Sometimes on non nap days I put him to bed an hour earlier and that helps the over tiredness a bit. That often helps with night wakings
Our main problem us if he misses two days of naps in a row then he wakes in the middle of the night and can be awake for 3 hours plus

I would try dropping the nap and putting her to bed at 7.30pm. it sounds like she doesn't need the nap, but is overtired by 8.30pm without one.

If she goes to bed at 7.30pm you may find she wakes up a little earlier.

I agree with little fish.

Lots of toddlers don't need a nap at 3 years old and definitely not one so late in the day. Bring bedtime forward and adjust the whole routine accordingly (our ds is 2 and he has dinner at 5 and bedtime for him is 6 otherwise he starts getting overtired and will be up all night talking to teddies). He wakes at 6 am and still has a nap but I am expecting he may drop this soon.

I agree with the above. My daughter dropped her nap at 3yo and slept sooo much better ( in bed by 7 up at 7). It did take a week or so to adjust though so bare with it.

Thanks alot for all the advice. First day trying a 7:30 bedtime with no nap. Wish me luck!

Good luck! Let us know how you get on.

How did it go?

I also meant to add regardless of the type of night you've had I'd get up at 7 am at the latest and start the day then..and do it everyday. Consistency is key I think. It's also good practice for school and nursery :).

Well it went better than i thought. She woke up at 22.30 to use the toilet. But didn't wake crying like she usually would have if she was really overtired. But...she was than awake until atleast 01.30 just trying to sleep. Not playing or crying, eyes shut mostly but still awake. Than she woke up herself about 08:40. Didn't actually seem too tired in the day. But had a very low key day. Just at home. Nothing too active. Right now she's fast asleep...

That doesn't sound too bad (apart from the horrible long awake bit!). However, I agree with Fairylea that you need to start building in a morning routine, regardless of what has happened the night before. By letting her sleep until 8.40am, you will affect the sleep patterns for the rest of the day and night.

See how you get on tomorrow.

So she was awake from 11 ish to 1 ish. ... hmmm that's quite a long time awake isn't it. Are you sure she's actually awake and not in a dream? (As you say her eyes are closed).

What kind of things do you do during the day? I'm just curious as I find that with ds 22 months if we don't go out for a walk of at least 30 minutes (usually into town and back with him on reins and short go round tesco in the buggy or take him to the park or something active) then I find he doesn't sleep as well. I let him poddle along and pick up every single leaf and stick and look at bugs etc. I really think being so active helps him to sleep well.

I also think as per my earlier point that you need to wake her up earlier regardless of what happened in the night. Start her up at 7 am or even 6.30 am. Lots of wholegrain type foods for breakfast and snacks.

I know it all sounds really boring and I'm not trying to be preachy, I'm not a perfect parent at all - my main thing I'm bad at is letting ds watch far too much tv, he just hates playing with toys!- but these are things I find helped me with my two. Good luck x

About last night, we have a video monitor so i could see her moving around and her eyes opening every little while. She might of been dozing and half sleeping. But not in deep sleep.

Her usual wake up time is 08:30-09.00 That's why i haven't been waking her earlier. We prefer the late wake up . Im hoping to sort out her routine before bringing her awake time slowly forward.

Usually tuesday-friday we go to a local mother-toddler group. From about 10-12.30. We then have lunch and before she would have had a nap after that. Then after that a snack and most days we go to my mums she lives about 15mins walk from my house. I have a lot of nieces and nephews and they all meet after school there. How long we stay depends on how well they play :). Home for dinner then bedtime.
Weekends usually either some of the kids come round or she goes to there's. Mondays are family outing days. Museums, soft play etc.
I must admit though that when we're at home she doesn't do much. Sorry for the long essay...

Yesterday evening she woke up at 12.30 and was awake until 3. Not very happy at all. Kept crying and moaning. Finally fell i sleep after i sat with her for a while. I then woke her up at 8.30 but she seems really tired today. So right now i have put her in her cot for a rest/ sleep. She's still awake. Is this ok ? How long shall i leave her there for?

This is a tough one.
ive just changed my DDs (3) routine due to starting pre school.
We are now on 7.30 bed time, 7.30 get up.
The waking seems like habit (been there done that) I think you need to decide a bedtime and get up time and work on those. Wake her if needs be, yes you'll probably have a couple of days were shes tired and grumpy but in the long run it'll be beneficial. Baring in mind your only a year away from school so an 8.30 get up isny going to work.
We have quiet time after lunch, so we have an hour of cuddles and reading a story. Normally on my bed, gives us both a break