Do we have any advice???

[Caita333]

I have read through most of the relevant sleep posts and really do not want to bore anyone but would love love love some opinions/advice.
LO is 4 months, 2nd baby, breast fed. Has never slept well, compounded by a hospital stay at 6 weeks for bronchiolitis which involved not letting him cry and being picked up!
He is getting steadily worse on the sleep front, will generally sleep:-
A few naps during the day (cat), 30 mins tops.
He goes down around 10pm (fed down) and can be down around 3 hours then after that.....
He thrashes about, demands feeding around every 40 mins, will cry himself to vomit point very quickly, he's stuck in half sleep, half awake raging upset state for the rest of the night, usually culminating in a nap for around an hour from 7am.
It's like he can't get into a deep sleep.
I have tried the obvious- no talking, lighting, etc.
I have tried co sleeping but he just thrashes and winges and doesn't settle.
He won't take a dummy.
I have tried a bottle at bed time to stuff him but no change. My husband has also tried but LO goes nuts.
I have tried waking him properly after his first wee sleep and soothing him down again but he will feed up to an hour!
I know I have to teach him to put himself to sleep but I really don't know where to start, if you don't lift him he screams blue murder within about 2 mins and then it's a battle to soothe him.
Any help would be fab! The health visitor has no ideas!
Thank you .........

i recommend the no cry sleep solution book. libraries seem to have it? think the problem is he doesn't know how to go to sleep? you probably need to stop feeding him to sleep, so a feed can be the last thing you do, but not allowing him to fall asleep sucking. and he needs to go into bed sleepy but awake, easily said, more tricky in practice! my ds used to do this and other part of our plan was to get his daytime nap sorted, which did mean at home in his cot.

Are you sure he doesn't have silent reflux? My dd's symptoms were not settling at night (or day) for sleep, plus frequent vomit. Once diagnosed the medication solved it. We were exhausted - is it worth taking to your GP?

just re read my message and think to be completely specific, try bedtime routine of something along the lines of bath, pjs, feed & stories, cuddle until almost asleep then pop in cot, rub tummy and say ssshhhhhh (repeat shusshing a lot...) if gets sad, pick up, rock/ walk around until sleepy again and pop back in cot, repeat as necessary and feed again if you think it will help settle them.
i think at four months you probably need three naps, so try to get ons in around 1-11/2 hours after waking, one around lunch and a last one around 4.30, but really more than timings, when your lo is tired, watch for sleepy signs and get them straight to bed.
if you have mastered the ssshhhhhh thing when they stir after 20-30 minutes of nap, try immediately resettling with ssshhhhhh thing, ideally not picking up, but do if necessary.

Thankyou! So glad people have replied!
The GP says he's putting on weight and he is a very happy baby as long as sleep is not involved. Not reflux he thought as he is never sick.
He puts himself to sleep for naps but it's trying to fall into a deep sleep or stay asleep for longer than 40 mins!?

Silent reflux is the kind where they generally aren't sick.

Is your DS in pain do you think? All the thrashing around does sound like tummy trouble or silent reflux as stubbed suggested. How's his bowl movements? Babies can get allergies through breast milk that can lead to sleep problems.

We had so many problems with my DD sleep. She teethed, had allergies, wouldn't be left alone, was a breast feeding addict etc. I've blogged about my experience to help other mums.

In the end we used acupressure to help our DD get into a deeper sleep. mydaughterwontsleep.com/2013/12/27/the-sleep-inducing-power-of-acupressure/

Also we had fantastic results with cranio sacral therapy - here's the link mydaughterwontsleep.com/2013/11/27/something-all-mothers-should-know/

I do agree with redcaryellowcar too - a good bedtime routine is a good place to start and the no cry sleep solution is a good book and one that we tried.
Good luck with it all!