Baby won't sleep in crib

[Cariad007]

I hired an NCT Bednest thinking that would be better than a cot but my 9 week old DS has had maybe 4 sleeps in it, preferring to sleep next to me. I don't mind cosleeping but I'm aware that he isn't going to get any smaller, and also I worry about the risk of SIDS as I heard a 2013 LSHTM survey founs bed sharing increased the risk of it even if you were a non smoker, didn't drink, breastfed etc.

I generally breastfeed him to sleep but if I try to put him in the crib he wakes within 5-10 minutes. He also tends to flail in his sleep, which wakes him. I tried swaddling but he didn't like that either. Last night I tried settling him in the crib 3 times before finally putting him down next to me as I was exhausted.

Any ideas how I can solve the problem? I am at my wits' end as he's also a crier and goes from happy to screaming in the blink of an eye.

Honestly, I would just continue Cosleeping!
There's been a lot of unfair and inaccurate studies as well as media hype about bed sharing, and I think it's complete bollocks. Of course do what you feel is right, but have a look at this. James McKenna has done loads of research on this very (natural and healthy)thing. I've been Cosleeping with my 7month old since birth and can honestly say I've only had a handful of broken sleeps. Enjoy the snuggles and get some rest!

Not much to suggest except persevere with the swaddling. Mine hated it at first but does help her sleep.

My dd hated her crib, got her a Moses basket and she loves it.

I would continue co-sleeping too. It's not surprising babies hate being alone, they've been attached to you for 9 months - it takes a while before they are comfortable being apart from you. Can you get one of those cots that attaches to the side of the bed - that way you can have your own space but be next to each other? We co-slept until DD became mobile at 6 months.

I just spent a weekend in the bedroom putting ds down in his crib as much as possible to play, relax, and eventually sleep. I stayed in the room and in sight except when he was sleeping.
He just seemed to get use to it and was fine to sleep there afterwards.

LidlRichards, excellent link, thank you!

Op I can't recommend co sleeping enough. It took me months to work out that the reason I sleep better, and my baby is calmer, when we sleep together is that it is natural. No other mammals sleep with their babies away from them.

We had an nct bednest and he didnt like it to start with, but by about 12 weeks would sleep for four or five hours in it next to me. I think before then he was too little to not want to have actual physical contract whilst he slept. Turning point was when he didn't sleep more soundly on us than next to us!

He is snoring happily next to me right now. If we have another baby I will rent a bednest again but not worry about using it until around week 12!

Definitely dont feel bad. Trust your instincts.

It depends on what you want.

Many people are happy to co-sleep and actively want to. Many people end up co-sleeping and don't really want to.

If you really want to co-sleep then carry on.

If you don't then the only thing to do is persist in putting you baby down to sleep in the cot/crib/moses basket, whichever works best for you.

I have never co-slept, I didn't want to. In my experience all babies take time to get used to sleeping in their own space rather than on/next to you. It absolutely is exhausting when your baby cries after 5-10 mins in their crib but you've got to go through it if you don't want to co-sleep.

Here's how I achieved getting my 3 to sleep in their own space (which was a moses basket) - if you're bfing it might work for you too;

• go to bed with baby about 11pm having cluster fed during the evening. Feed baby until they nod off (with mine they liked to nurse as a comforter as well as to feed during the night so it would often be 1am before they nodded off sufficiently to be put down, get a TV for the bedroom and enjoy re-runs of Lovejoy or similar with the volume down low, otherwise this time is very lonely!)

• put baby down into a moses basket/crib that has been warmed by a hot water bottle.
• as soon as baby cries pick baby up and feed again until they nod off, then put back into crib, you might have to do this way more than 3 times a night over several nights before baby sleeps for longer, but your baby will sleep for longer and it won't take very many nights.
• one night baby will wake for a feed and you'll realise they've slept for 3 or 4 hours straight - it's amazing how well a person can function on 4 hours straight in a night!!!

DS has managed to sleep in his crib the past 3 nights as I've been putting him in a gro bag. I'm sleeping better too as I'm not paranoid about squashing him or accidentally pulling the duvet over him so fingers crossed that it lasts!

Well done, you must be feeling more human. It will last if you want it to, just don't go back to taking him in with you. Persistance is key!

I have exactly the same problem with my 4 week old and every night me and hubby would look at each other trying to figure out options which are limited. my baby just won't settle in Moses we would think she is fast asleep but as soon as we put her in Moses within 10 minutes she's wide awake so we've been sleeping with her in our arms on th e sofa there she would sleep happily 3 hours a go.
we are keen for this not to continue as we hear horror stories but it is the only thing that works. I've been in tears most nights as she won't settle anywhere other than my arms. so I can wholly sympathise with you.
it is good to hear people say about co sleeping as we feel we're failing not getting her in Moses