Getting my 6 week old to sleep

[mrsmugoo]

My DS is getting so much harder to settle down for sleep both in the day and at night. He resists sleep and becomes overtired, often staying awake for 4 or 5 hours at a time before finally succumbing.

At night we bath at 7:30 and settle down in the bedroom (dark, minimal stimulation) for feeding and settling at 8 but even though he's usually been awake since about 5:30 he cries and fusses and it's been taking me until about 10 to settle him. I can't move the routine any later because he's crying with over tiredness by bath time.

I know he is only very tiny and new still but he is very labour intensive to get off to sleep - others talk about putting down when drowsy and and using white noise etc... He would scream if I put him down in anything other than a deep sleep. The only way I can get him to sleep is breastfeed then wrapped in a blanket and cuddled and rocked for however long it takes.

I just feel I'm doing something wrong. He only sleeps for 2 hours at a time at night too but that's a whole other thread!

Sounds like colic to me. Dd had it for about 10 weeks. I would give up on the routine for now and just do whatever you need to stay sane, be it long walks in the sling (nice now the evenings are lighter), watch tv, chat with DP etc.

You have my sympathies, it's horrid but it does pass.

He's had trapped wind and colic symptoms for the last couple of weeks (discomfort after a feed, pulling legs up, squirming, straining etc...) for which I was giving him gripe water. This seems to have passed now - the crying is much more of a tiredness grizzle than a tummy pain cry.

I just feel maybe I'm missing the tiredness cues? I'm good at spotting the hunger cues but other than knowing how long he's been awake for, he seems to go from perfectly fine to meltdown fairly quickly. If he's wide awake he will resist being held cradle style in order to rock him to sleep and just wants to be upright I.e stimulated.

I found this blog really helpful for newborn sleep: www.troublesometots.com/newborn-baby-sleep-survival-guide/

Basically, forget a routine or getting your baby to self settle or any of that stuff for the first 3 months. The vast majority of little babies need help to get to sleep, so breastfeed, dummy, swaddle, white noise, baby swing (this one is magic for us) etc etc. It's more important that they sleep well/get enough sleep.

I would try getting him to sleep once he's been awake for 30-45 mintues. I'd also forget bedtime entirely - between 7 and 10 just feed, rock, cuddle, hold him and watch TV or something.

It's normal - a doctor at the hospital told me that until they are 12 weeks old they don't know the difference between night and day and therefore any sleep training is hopeless at this stage. This bit of advice literally saved my sanity.

Because they don't really know the difference get some DVD box sets settle down on the sofa, get your boobs out, a large jug of water, cake and cuddle him while watching rather than all that faffing in a dark room with no stimulation. You can pop him in a bouncy chair or moses basket next to you. Breastfeeding burns loads of calories so enjoy it and you can never cuddle a baby too much.

And as for bathing don't get too hung up on it - I only did it once a week with my DS until he was about 9 months old.

Also with winding him - it's ok to give quite a firm pat on the back and sort of hoick him over your shoulder a bit like a sack of spuds. I was horrified when my dad did this but it really sorted out the colic issues. My Dad is a bit of a baby whisperer.

Could you bring his bathtime earlier?

I could have written your post about my 10 week old DD. I was using bathtime as a way to chill her out when she started to get fractious/overtired in the evening (around the same time as your DS)...she would be happy during and immediately after bath, then very upset and hard to settle.

I now bath her about half an hour after she wakes from her last nap of the day and things are so much better. She still takes an age to go to sleep BUT she is chilled and happy rather than screaming during the settling time.

I have this with my 3 week old baby. she fights sleep so much she gets herself in a screaming fit. we have thrown any thoughts of routine out the window and just rock her and sing until she drops off this can be a good hours worth of rocking. I can only then put her down when she's in deep sleep. she goes down in Moses upstairs at 10.30 ish Wakes at 1.30 for feed, then she may take a while to settle again then feed again at 5 then awake at 8. so you are not alone with this. we've had tearful nights ourselves thinking we are doing something wrong. but starting to realise young babies need to feel secure and do take a while to settle. we tried the hot water bottle and my t shirt in Moses seems to help a little.

He spends half of his life on my shoulder and he rarely burps, his wind comes out the other end.

I not wedded to any specific routine as such, we tend to just start the process as soon as we can when my husband gets home from work and because I know if I start trying to feed and wind him down at 8pm he will most likely be asleep by 10pm by which time I am desperate myself for some kip.

He will only sleep for 3 "blocks" in the night before we wakes up for good, so if he falls asleep in the early evening for the night then I will be in for a seriously early start in the morning hence why I try to keep him awake from 6-8pm. Also, to maximise my own sleep I sleep when he sleeps and I don't want my bedtime to be 7pm!

We only bath him once every other day, mainly for the relaxation factor than cleaning him. I don't think I could bring it forward any more as my husband is self employed he gets home as early as he can as it is.

In the day if I tried to settle him after once hour I would spend my life trying to rock a wide awake, highly uncooperative baby to sleep.

He is either wise awake or grizzly, I can't seem to pin point the time when he is ever "drowsy".

My daughter was the same, fighting sleep for up to 3hours a night - she would get over tired and just not able to wind down.

If you're bfing I would look at caffeine content in your diet. Also we discovered the magic of acupressure. There's a specific point between the eyebrows that helps a wired child unwind - you can do it at any age, my daughter responded really well to it and would drop off in a matter of minutes - Here's my blog post on it if you're interested - mydaughterwontsleep.com/2013/12/27/the-sleep-inducing-power-of-acupressure/

A good bed-time routine like the others suggest is also an excellent idea. And def continue to keep an eye out for symptoms of colic.
Good luck.

The only routine we have for our 7 weekold is to keep her downstairs with us watching tv until we go to bed. She feeds on demand and naps when she wants, then all go up together about 10ish. We then change her nappy, tank her up on expressed Breast milk and settle her in her moses basket. Sometimes she is colicky and we have to walk around winding her, but generally she settles ok. Have found a dummy very helpful once I got over my own issues about giving her one.

I believe this is as much of s routine as they can cope with at this age. Why fight it trying to putting them to bed when you could all try and relax together infront of a box set.

Hmm caffeine, yes I've had a proper coffee the last few days. I'll knock that on the head then.

Yesterday was awful - got him down for just one nap. After waking at 8:30 he went down at 1:30 - 4:30. He then stayed awake despite my rocking and shush patting continually all the way to 11pm.

How can a newborn survive being awake for such long periods?? I thought they were supposed to sleep 16 hoards out of 24? Mine was awake for 16 and only sleeping for 8!

I getting mixed messages abut bedtime "routine" some are saying don't bother some are saying its crucial. Even though I not a stickler for a routine as such, I can't see the point in keeping him in the living room with lights, voices and TV all the while trying to get him to sleep? Seems far more sensible to retreat to the darker calmer bedroom and I can still keep trying to settle bunt at least he is getting the "it's night time now" cues?

I've not managed to get him to sleep til around 11pm the last few nights and its just too late for me, I'm tired and want to go to bed myself! Plus he will then happily sleep til 8:30-9 in the morning and I need him to get up so we can get dressed and ready for the day before my DH leaves for work.

I know he's only 6 weeks but I'm frazzled with a baby glued to me for 16 out of every 24 hours. I've trilled a sling, he hates it. He lasts about 10 minutes in his bouncer before he grizzles.

I don't understand why you'd wake him or you in the mornings! sleep in and get dressed late!

will he nap if you take him out in the pram?

Because if we miss the window of my DH going to work I'd spend all day in my pyjamas and not eat!

DS will not be put down and is awake for at least 4 hours before sleeping - this is what the thread is about!

He sometimes drops off in the pram, but it's not a banker.

you could get dh to make you a sarnie/breakfast so you can easily eat even if carrying ds. or get up yourself early but leave him asleep?

also I'd agree with pp that try getting him down much earlier in the morning say an hour after waking. if this bit is too long my dd was tired all day. it gets easier BTW and I say this with a 6mo who only sleeps in two hour blocks at night too!

I tried getting him down an hour after he wakes...I just spend the next 3 hours trying to rock, pat and shush a wide awake baby.

With regards to getting up in the mornings, it's no biggy as DH starts work quite late anyway I'm more concerned about him going to bed earlier as I'm behind tired by 11pm and he must be too, having been up so long!