How to tackle bedtime

[ipswichwitch]

2.6yo DS has sleep apnoea, and will soon be having tonsils and adenoids removed to hopefully help him sleep better - he currently wakes many times a night screaming because of his breathing, and hysterical, and ends up in our bed as he's too upset to go to sleep on his own.

One of the biggest problems is getting him to sleep. One of us now has to sit with him holding his hand until he falls asleep. This is obviously far from ideal, but attempts to try cc or rapid return end in him becoming utterly hysterical, screaming, coughing and on one occasion vomiting.

We are not sure how to deal with this now, other than to wait until after the surgery before trying again. While the surgery should resolve his sleep apnoea and hopefully lead to him sleeping through, we feel bedtimes are still going to be difficult and need some advice on how to sort the issue of him needing us to hand hold. Frankly we are at the end of our tether with the whole thing and counting the days til his operation.

Gradual withdrawal method - sit on floor next to him and move further and further from him each night until you are on the landing. It may take weeks but he is obviously scared of going to sleep so if you take it nice and slowly this may help.

Wait for the surgery! Poor kid. He must be exhausted.

There's light at the end of the tunnel. It will be better soon.

Is it worth allowing him to cosleep until the op and a few weeks afterwards, then trying again?

The poor lad is exhausted hotcrosshunny. He's constantly got black circles under his eyes, even though we make sure he gets a good nap during the day (he needs it). His quality of sleep is awful - tossing and turning, he does sleepwalk on occasion.

drinkyourmilk, we currently put him to bed in his room which, apart from the difficulty getting to sleep, he's happy with. When he wakes in the night (always screaming) he comes into bed with us. The added difficulty is that we have 4mo DS2 who sleeps in our room atm. DS1 is a heavy snorer, do we start him off in his room so DS2 can have a bit

The poor lad is exhausted hotcrosshunny. He's constantly got black circles under his eyes, even though we make sure he gets a good nap during the day (he needs it). His quality of sleep is awful - tossing and turning, he does sleepwalk on occasion.

drinkyourmilk, we currently put him to bed in his room which, apart from the difficulty getting to sleep, he's happy with. When he wakes in the night (always screaming) he comes into bed with us. The added difficulty is that we have 4mo DS2 who sleeps in our room atm. DS1 is a heavy snorer, do we start him off in his room so DS2 can have a bit of sleep in peace.

Purple gradual withdrawal may be the way forward. Problem is getting him to let go of my hand. He's pretty insistent on holding it, and can get very upset when I say no.

Sorry for that! Been having a rotten night with him again and I'm so tired I can hardly see.

Can you put your baby in his room, set up a bed next to your DS and sleep in with him? So when he wakes you can reassure without having to traipse between rooms and can sort out baby when he wakes too?

I was wondering wether I should try that hot. I can put DS2s cot in his room a settle them both down together (DS2 is now in a good routine of going to sleep at about 7.30 and not waking til well after we go to bed at around 10ish for his feed). I could then sleep on the pull out bed between them. That might be the best way to help keep DS1 in his room as I think we may have a problem with that even after surgery.