Gina CLB Book - Have tried it with my 8 mth old - having doubts??

[tori26]

I have been following the routines for my 8 mth old. We start our day at 8am and end it at 7.30pm. He has his two naps and sleeps through the night however I find that I can't go out anywhere as I have to be back for his naps. This

Sorry tori26, doesn't look like all your message came through!

I'd just like to say that although I followed GF with my dd, I agree that the rigidity of timing can be very hard. In fact, it would put me off doing it with my next one as I find getting out and about is crucial to my sanity. What I am trying to say is, in the future I will defy GF so that I and my new babe can have some company!!

Hope the rest of your message comes through soon!

Sorry will start again!! I have been following the routines for my 8 mth old. We start our day at 8am and end it at 7.30pm. He has his two naps and sleeps through the night however I find that I can hardly go out anywhere as we have to back for naps etc. This resulting in us both feeling irritable. Does anybody else feel like this? Just recently I have put the book away and am doing what I please and I feel much better. The Gina book was taking over my family life. My son is not affected by it. Sometimes he has two naps other times one long nap and he isn't bothered. We go out alot more and I don't feel like I carry an alarm clock with me. I do think the book has some useful info in it but I would not advise anyone to stick to it strictly. At the end of the day I think you can't let a child dictate to you, or you would never do anything. Question is should I get the book back out?? I'm in a dilema.

tori26, if you and your baby are happy then NO, don't get the book back out! You sound like you are doing a great job.

All these booksshould be used as tools. They are not rules! You have got your son into a routine and now you need to relax to fit your day. Go with the flow now and realise how useful the basics were to start with, but that perhaps you have grown out if it. I took some of the basics and made it fit my life. The important thing for me was to get a basic routine going.

p 96 of the CLBB is an important one which I find a lot of mums forget about.... "Once your baby reaches the age of 4 months, is on 4 feeds a day and needs less sleep, it is possible to change the routine without affecting your baby's natural needs for the right amount of sleep and number of feeds. "
So true !
Also Enid, if you are anything like me, you will use all the CLBB best advice and tricks while being a lot more flexible about the routine.
I went out a lot and more frequently with baby number 2. Whatever your style of parenting you are bound to be more relaxed the 2n time around.

Yes, I agree Pupuce, I imagine I will be much the same for no 2. Can I just ask whether you potty trained using GF's method?

I did reply to you on another thread. Someone borrowed my book so I did it of memory. DS (24 months old) did very well but for some reason will not remove his pants ! So if naked (or half naked) he is 100% accident free. If he wears pants he does in them !!!
I will actually try again from Friday onwards with pants.... we'll see.
I think she give sound suggestions but none of this is 100% full proof.

Thanks, sorry I didn't read the other thread, think I had gone on holiday.

I should get round to potty training soon but as dd has just started at childminders I thought I'd better leave it a couple of weeks...

Get the childminder to help

She's the one that keeps encouraging me to leave it a bit longer...!

Message withdrawn

Bloss - at 4 months not 8
And anyway, how is Adelaide doing on routines ? I found that DD needed it less having said that when she turned 4 weeks old I thought I should gently guide her through them because she didn't settle well at 7PM. In 2 days she was happy to go down at 7PM. She is the smiliest baby around - It's pure joy !

Message withdrawn

Tori26 - I tried the routines but my dd just wouldn't fit in, even at a few weeks old. We ditched it, she found her own routines which were different but worked really well for us, and we never looked at it again. She is 2 now and lots of people comment on how contented she is, she did it her way. Now she has a younger brother and we could not possibly follow the routines without cutting into her social life which would be unfair with such a big change in her life as it is with a new baby.
Gina Ford's way is only one way to bring up your children. It didn't suit me and it sounds as if it doesn't suit you. Do what makes your life easiest and your son's life most enjoyable! It's not for everyone even though it works for a lot of people.

tori, just to say it's wonderful that your 8 month baby has an 8.00 am to 7.30 pm routine, AND will take his daytime naps anywhere. You lucky, lucky thing! However big a thank you you feel GF deserves, I'd say just go with the flow for now.

Non GF babies do happily settle into great routines like this - my first son was one of them. Straying away from the book isn't an automatic recipe for chaos - as you've already seen. Dip into GF as and when you want to. As others have said, preserve you sanity, be thankful your baby is easy going and go out without feeling guilty. Happy mum - happy baby!

I agree with all that is being said here. I followed GF's routine's with rigidity! But as you said, it can be very inconvenient. As dd got older we relaxed it a bit, so I would take her to morning playgroups and she would take a short nap when she got tired. If I wanted to go out in the afternoon, I would time it to fit in with her nap as I knew she would sleep in the pram.

It sounds as if your ds is fairly well-established in these routines, so a little flexibility can be achieved. As long as he is sleeping through the night, that's all that really matters! It is great to have that afternoon nap though and I wouldn't advise cutting back on that too much, it gives you a much needed break and you can get on with stuff you couldn't do if he were awake.

Don't throw the book away, it is good to dip into every now and then. Or perhaps you could keep it for your next

Also agree with all that has been said. The GF routine are hard and somehow the way the book is written sort of makes you feel as if you have failed if you deviate slightly. As your confidence grows I think you learn to chill out a bit and cherry pick the bits and pieces that do work for you and not beat yourself up when you alter things to suit. My DD is in GF routine but I have to say that it has only been in the last couple of months that I have been confident to adapt the routines a bit. Great advice from Pupuce about a couple of months ago about letting my dd have an extra short nap in the late afternoon.......Pupuce it worked a treat. I was really scared that if I allowed her this nap she wouldn't settle at 7 pm or sleep through. Funny thing is with my dd is that it seems that the better she sleeps during the day the better she is at night! Also, as I have mentioned on another thread, my dd goes to a childminder twice a week on a Thursday and Friday. She doesn't really keep to the routine when there, but provided I keep the teatime and bedtime routine the same she always seems to settle like a dream. So she has 5 days on and 2 off ! I was very anxious about this in the early days but as my husband pointed out, when at the childminders she gets the benefit of mixing with other children and I think this has worked out to a really nice balance.

Good luck Tori26, hope some of these comments help

Hi!!

I started GF routines on my 4-months old dauther 3 days ago. They do make me feel as if I failed: she was perfect the 1st day, but last couple of days were miserable. The most problematic is daytime sleep. GF suggests 2 hours, but for my girl 1 hour is maximum and then she goes back to sleep for another hour later. The second problem is feeding. Every baby is different, and I think the time between meals GF suggests in her book is far too long. Going to sleep at 7 pm is quite difficult too. Usually she ends up going to sleep (with a lot of cry) at about 9.30.

I have decided that I will carry on with my own routine. It's good to see other people's points of view. The book won't be thrown away but kept out of reach for the time being. I know what you mean when you say 'failed' re the book, I sonetimes felt like that. My baby some days would have all his naps and then others the odd hour but he seems happy enough. Lilia I wouldn't worry too much, you can't make your baby sleep and it's only early days, just go at your own pace and your daughter will fit into her own routine.

It makes me very sad to read that you feel you have failed, because you most definitely haven't. The CLBB is just one person's idea of the routine a baby should follow. There are plenty of other ways to look after your baby and at the end of the day the best method is the one that makes you all happy, so follow your instincts and enjoy your baby.

I went on holiday with someone who had two children on the GF routine and frankly, it almost spoilt the holiday. The mother was uptight because she was so busy clockwatching to keep up the routine that she couldn't relax and the younger child seemed to be crying for ever before it was fed. I really can't agree with having strict routines for young babies, what about a mother's instinct for doing what is right, have we forgotten that ? Obviously everyone is different and every child is different but I do think we should have the confidence to follow our instincts, whatever the books may say.

Hales - this happened to me too, except the people with the kid in the routine came to stay with us. It was a nightmare, everything had to be done their way (never mind my dd's own routine), we couldn't go out in case he slept in the car at the wrong time, mealtimes were a total panic if only 5 mins late etc. They seemed happy with it, but we won't be inviting them back unless they chill out!!!

Hales & Susanmt - your comments are vey intesting and have certainly given me something to think about. You are both right what you say and when on holiday or staying with friends/family it certainly would do no harm to be more flexible about a routine. My dd is 8 months old and in GF routine but we haven't been away except for a couple of nights at Christmas when we stayed with outlaws. My SIL & BIL with their twins were also there but they are GF babies as well so routines or lack of them weren't really a problem. I find that when my dd is with other people she doesn't seem to whinge or cry for her feeds/meals as she sometimes does at home and I believe this is because she is nicely distracted and I suppose a holiday is a classic example. My aunt once said to me that babies are probably the most flexible people

hales, susanmt

your posts give food for thought. i think it highlights how difficult it must be to spend an extended period of time with a family with a different parenting style to one's own. after all, one person's "laid back" is another's "disorganised". it also extends to other areas other than routines - manners, discipline, tv, sweets, i suppose the list must be endless!
as melly says, there needs to be a bit of give and take on a joint holiday, and i suppose a few ground rules at the start.

i think what people sometimes forget about routines is that once they are established, it's not about the routine any more, it's about when your child is hungry, tired etc. i'm sure you're not suggesting that your friends ignore their child's hunger and need for sleep at particular times just because they are on holiday?

we are going on holiday with some friends with two children later in the year - and they do have quite a different approach to parenting! your posts have highlighted my concerns that it could all be a minefield! we will definitely be setting ground rules from the off! luckily my friend is a veteran of joint hols with kids so knows the possible sticky areas.

melly - totally agree with your comments on cherry picking the bits that work for you from GF. we are pro modified GF in our house, but my advice to pregnant friends who are thinking of using it is to drop it like a stone if it is making themselves and their babies miserable - like any baby book it's a resource which could make life easier, but i don't believe it will work for every baby, so don't ignore your instincts if is not working for you.

not following GF does not not not mean you are a failure as a mother!

food for thought anyway.

My advice is never to go on holiday with friends that have young kids! Its usually a nightmare until the children are really old enough to play together...there's just too much scope to criticise routines, parenting etc.