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Sleep

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Original poster

Really struggling to settle 8wk DS at night.

17 replies

wellsie · 22/08/2006 20:30

DS is 8wks and will settle awake in his cot by day but in the evening it is a different story.

We have a good bedtime routine, bath & bottle in a dark quiet room, however whether he falls asleep on the bottle or not he will not go to his cot without a fight. I have resorted to breast feeding him to sleep and holding him for a good while to make sure he is sound asleep and then transferring him. This has been ok, however my milk has really dried up now and am getting sore also tonight I couldn't settle him at all and now he is overtired. DH and I are currently listening to him on the baby monitor. He's not really going for it but I had to walk away, I've been doing this for 2hrs and am about to lose the plot.
Is there anyone else going through this at the moment and also any solutions?? Please help.
Thanks

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Silvermoomin · 22/08/2006 20:45

I didn't have quite this problem, but when my dd2 kept not wanting to go down again after feeding at night my midwife suggested I put a warm (not hot obviouly) hot water bottle wrapped in whatever I'd been wearing during the day in the cot before hand, then when you put the baby down its all nice and warm and smells of you. Might be worth a try tomorrow night...

(ps, take the hot water bottle out first before you put baby down!)

Original poster

wellsie · 22/08/2006 21:00

That sounds like a lovely idea will try tomorrow. DS has now gone to sleep but I suspect that he will do that 45min cycle thing a wake up again. Will give him another bottle if thats the case. I feel a bit guilty that I think I've just done a bit of CC but had tried everything and I was starting to get tearful that I couldn't get him to sleep, I had to walk away.

OP posts:

hairymclary · 22/08/2006 21:09

wellsie, don't worry, it's totally normal. he is still very young and feeding to sleep is fine. No form of sleep training (inc cc) should be tried before a baby is 6 months old.
Also, he wouldn't feed to sleep if your milk was drying up, so there must be something there. If it comforts him and you are ok with feeding him then do carry on

Original poster

wellsie · 22/08/2006 21:15

I don't mind feeding him to sleep as this was working but tonight it didn't. He fed on both breasts, fell asleep both times and within 10mins he was awake again. I felt we were going round in circles. Also I'm really sore now so think he really drained whatever I had. Starting to wish I hadn't given up the breast feeding.

OP posts:

hairymclary · 22/08/2006 21:18

I don't know about your breastfeeding history, but I don't think a baby would happily take both breasts if there wasn't much there. which makes me think that you have milk still, and also means that you could go back to breastfeeding if you wanted to?
It's quite normal for babies to cluster feed in the evening and it might make it easier if you keep him downstairs with you and just let him feed until he's properly ready for bed iyswim?
as for the soreness, have you got any lansinoh? it's fab stuff

Original poster

wellsie · 22/08/2006 22:04

I stopped breast feeding 5wks ago and have only been giving him a feed at bedtime to get him to sleep and in the early hours to get him back to sleep.
He takes 6oz bottles, approx 5 in a 24hr period so I know he's ok for food. The breastfeeding is a bit of comfort I think. Have got some of that cream, I think, will have to go on a search for it.

OP posts:

hairymclary · 23/08/2006 19:27

if you don't want to continue with the evening feed have you thought about trying a dummy? it might give him the comfort he needs

crumpet · 23/08/2006 19:35

At this stage ds tended to feed (bf) more frequently during the evening, and we just had him with us downstairs until we went to bed (had a chair and moses basket downstairs for him for when he dozed/when we were eating). DH also liked to have ds asleep on his chest whilst watching tv, especially as he had been at work all day so hadn't really seen him. He's now about 15 weeks and it wasn't until about 2-3 weeks ago that we started a routine of bath/bed etc, which he took to fairly easily. Still feeding him when we go up to bed, but is just starting to go trhough the night after that.

Lanshinoh is just fab - could feel my breasts go "aahh.." when I used it. Left over tune is great lipsa;ve too"

bumpmakestwo · 23/08/2006 19:35

Oh I feel for you but am so impressed that you are tackling this issue when baby is only 8 wks. Bump is 5mths now and will settle in her cot but only with my finger to suck on!!! It all stemed from her having colic and it being the only thing that calmed her and now it's a habit. I am breastfeeding too and tonight she fell asleep whilst feeding but I woke her before putting her down and she went straight to sleep. Probably wake in half hr knowing my luck! It's so tricky as I know we should all avoid sleep association methods such as finger, dummy, rocking, feeding etc...but easier said than done!

crumpet · 23/08/2006 19:36

er, that should be tube and lipsalve...

Dragonhart · 23/08/2006 20:50

Do you swaddle him? I found that my DS slept really well after we started doing it at about 3 weeks and made a real difference to the length of time he would settle for ie hours instead of half an hour.

Dont worry though. As everyone said he is stil very young. We have been really lucky with DS and his sleeping but even now (he is one) when he wont settle in the evening I feel pretty desperate. Hope that it works out for you. xxx

Original poster

wellsie · 24/08/2006 19:24

Still struggling. Have tried a dummy but he just spits it out & if he does go off with it once it falls out he wakes again. We swaddled him for 7wks but he really hated it at the end, to the point that I thought he might bust a blood vessel with all the crying so he's now in a grobag & he seems much happier.
Last night I kept him awake for the last feed and put him down. He didn't really cry just grumbled but he went off and slept 6hrs Tonight he has fallen asleep on the bottle and within 10mins he has woken. Again he's not really crying just grumbling but is this ok or should I be up there trying to help him? I just feel my helping him really wasn't and hence the 2hrs trying to get him to sleep.

OP posts:

Dragonhart · 24/08/2006 19:36

As long as he is not screaming, i would leave him. Will help him learn how to fall asleep on his own. This is really personal choice though and some people (including my MIL) cannot leave a crying baby. What I have always done is keep going back in every so often, settling him and then walking out imediately. Some of my friends say it just keeps their baby up and makes them cry more. Guess it just depends on the baby.

I have always thought that if you have made sure he is comfy and all ok (feed, nappy, not too hot or cold etc) then there is nothing you can do for him but let him fall asleep. Glad he has slept so well last night. Good luck for tonight!! xxx

Original poster

wellsie · 24/08/2006 19:44

He has gone to sleep after 5mins of grumbling so feel happy about that. Thanks for your words of reassurance Dragonhart, have done this all before with DS1 but you forget what you did at this stage and also he went through the night from 5wks and he was breastfed so a bit different. Hopefully thats it now for another 6hrs but we'll see. Thanks again

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Mum2FunkyDude · 24/08/2006 19:55

They sometimes do a mantra cry ( sing themselves to sleep) so unless he is outright crying I would leave him, you could go in every few minutes and Shush pat him (gently patting his back while making a shhhhhh sound in his ear (reminds them of the time in the womb))

Dragonhart · 24/08/2006 23:04

I am 20 wks preg now and I was talking to my DH about how we must not forget that while DS sleeps well now at 1, and we have been lucky he wasnt perfect and we spent plenty of nights with him crying eps at the start. Hope all goes well tonight xxx

By the way Mum2funkydude - we did shhh pat too, from Tracy Hoggs book. Def going to try it again this time as it worked so well last time!!

SecondhandRose · 24/08/2006 23:19

What about taking off a piece of clothing that you have had next to your skin and putting it in the cot with him. Have you tried this?

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