Okay, so how do you teach a baby to sleep on their own?

[nearlythree]

Having screwed up massively with dds 1&2 (to their distress and mine) I want to get ds (3mo) into good sleep habits now. What should I be doing?

Love the title of this thread! Now Baby, listen to Mummy... this is your cot, okay? Lie down, close your little eye-pies & go night-nights! Mummy & Daddy are right next door in their cot & will come racing if you even so much as squeak.

My 11 week old has always refused to sleep anywhere but in our bed (at night) or in the car or being carried in a sling (daytime). My health visitor recommends controlled crying, but everything I have read says she's too young for this. Another health visitor I spoke to suggested letting her cry but going back in at 1 minute intervals to reassure her. I tried this this morning, putting her down at 9.00am when she was getting drowsy. It's now 2.00 pm, and although she has had some quiet periods still has not slept! I have tried changing her nappy, feeding her, rocking her, giving her a dummy (she has never accepted one before but seemed a bit more interested today) but no luck. I am at my wits end and have no idea how to proceed from here. Any advice?

DS used to sleep in bed with us, he would go to bed at the same time as us, lie awake between us while we read and eventually fall alseep on his own, with us there. After a while, I would pop him on the bed, but just sit next to him, lights low and sing, but not look at him, until he fell asleep.
Then, after doing that for a while, I could put him on the bed and leave him and he woudl take himself to sleep alone.

For a little baby I think gradual and gentle is the way, they have no idea what on earth you want them to do...

once dd hit 6 months i decided that she had to go through the night. She was still taking 3 night feeds up until then as i was breast feeding dh got to stay in bed. the hv told me that she was big enough to go through the night so i went home and tried the stroking the head thing each time she cried but this just made her worse as she could see and feel me but was not being picked up. I'm afraid that i then flipped and left her to scream for what felt like hours. I told Dh to put in ear plugs and shut up. The next night dd slept through the night and has done ever since. Cruel but effective.i think sometimes they just try to test us! i would say though that i wouldn't try that with a 3 month old.

Once my baby got to about 10 months I could put her down and she would put herself to sleep. Before that it was a case of cuddling her, pacing the floor and patting her back. If she woke up in the night I fed her so that my dh wouldn't wake up (heavy job) and then she would generally fall asleep or be cuddled back to sleep after a while.

Although I would not recommend it for such a little one, controlled crying works fairly well for me. You might want to try it at an age when you feel that you are ready and you think that it is appropriate for your little one. At 5-10 minute intervals, I pick my little girl up and without cuddling her lay her down again and leave the room. This lets her know that I am there but reinforces the message that it is time to go to sleep. Sometimes I find it difficult not to cuddle her when I go in but I find that if I do get her out of bed and cuddle her, it is more upsetting for her to be put back down.

She still has a bottle in the night if she wakes up and cries and I think that I was wrong not to ditch it before and let her cry (she is 19 months). She used to have a dummy but that has gone so I have been slow to let her last comforter go. Big mistake! Last night as i drowsily walked back upstairs she shouted "bottle here comes!". Don't make my mistake - as soon as they no longer need the feed in the night, brave out the crying for a few nights and it will stop. Good luck! Hopefully 3rd time lucky!