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I am his mummy not his dummy!

23 replies

NickyEds · 11/04/2014 12:38

My DS is 16 weeks this weekend and has become allergic to naps.....except laying on my lap with a boob in his mouth! DS is mix fed and when he was tiny I was terrified into thinking that my milk would dry up if DS didn't spend hours a day on the boob so it's become a habit. He sleeps well at night- goes from 10pm till 6-7am- and he does wake up during the night and settles himself so I know he can. He won't even sleep in his pram or car seat now- tried him in his cot and he went nuclear.
It's hard because I can see he's tired and I know what he wants but it's a bit frustrating sitting looking at jobs that need doing with DS asleep on me but not being able to move!!
Yesterday I tried not to feed to sleep and he just had a series of tiny 10 minute naps until he reached absolute tiredness at 8pm and flaked out (on me again). What am I doing wrong? All over the place there are women saying that they put their babies into their cots,say "go to sleep now baby" ...........and they do!!! Need my evenings and nap times!!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
parttimer79 · 11/04/2014 12:45

I dream of my dd sleeping that well at night. He is only tiny still at 16 weeks, I don't know anyone who is getting consistently good naps and night sleep and when we seem to hit a pattern something invariably changes. In fact in real life I have never met any of these women who pop baby down and they just settle off to sleep when they are that young!

If you can bear to I would feed to sleep then see if you can gentle pop him in the cot but tbh I would be tempted to grab phone/laptop/tablet/remote put feet up and feed.
My DD is now nearly 8 months and I still sometimes feed her to sleep and let her sleep on me just for snuggles as when she is awake she just wants to play and explore - which gives me plenty of time to get jobs done :)

Durdurkubby · 11/04/2014 12:48

Loads of people rave about slings - he could be close to you and maybe be rocked off to sleep as you go about your business?

Hobby2014 · 11/04/2014 12:48

What about trying a sling? Keeps him with you, and on you, but you can still get on with things. Some slings let you bf with them in too.

NickyEds · 11/04/2014 13:02

Thanks! i've never really like the idea of a sling-it sort of feels like you're solving a problem of not being able to put baby down by not putting baby down!! Do you know if they give you backache(DS is 14lb)?
parttimer- I know I'm REALLY lucky with his bedtime sleep it's just that I went to baby massage Monday and literally every woman there was banging on about "putting" their baby down for a nap. In their cots. In their rooms. Whilst they got on with other things!! Some of them were aghast that I was still just eating cake watching tv with DS on me then rushing round to get everything done.

OP posts:
Rosa · 11/04/2014 13:04

Try a dummy.....

NickyEds · 11/04/2014 13:12

He either spits it out or uses it as a toy- a sleep distraction device! I've only tried avent ones though

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TinyTear · 11/04/2014 13:16

that seems like the 4 month sleep regression... it will pass
good luck

sortofmaybeworried · 11/04/2014 13:20

The ergo sling was my saviour for this with 2 of my 3 - it tends to give enough comfort that they detach, but worst case at least you have your hands free for jobs or a cuppa Smile

Have you tried the Pantley Pulloff from the No Cry Sleep Solution? While you use one finger to unlatch, you push down gently on their mouth / chin with the forefinger of the other, so they don't get woken up by the sudden removal. That is a crap description, but I'm sure there is a better one online Wink. I only discovered it with DS2 and wished I known it before!!

sortofmaybeworried · 11/04/2014 13:22

And like others said, he's doing so well already with sleep, and 4 months is a really tricky age for settling anyway. Ignore the others claiming to put their perfect babies straight into the cot for sleep, half of them are either lying or are about to get a rude shock when the next sleep regression hits! I hardly know anyone whose baby was good at night AND at naps at this age, you're both doing great Smile

BertieBotts · 11/04/2014 13:36

But not being able to put them down is perfectly normal. You can't teach a baby not to need you, not at 16 weeks old, he's tiny.

Stop judging yourself by other mums' perfect views that they put out to the world and just do what is working for you right now.

It's not forever, just go with it.

BertieBotts · 11/04/2014 13:37

Decent slings won't hurt your back but something like a baby bjorn might. In any case they're better on your back than holding them in arms constantly! :)

Rosa · 11/04/2014 14:44

I tried so many and ended up with a silicone NUk one... I was being used to comfort as well as feed and with a toddler as well life was getting hard.

NunoBettencourt · 11/04/2014 14:50

Like TinyTear said it's probably the 4 month sleep regression. They do suck (pun intended!) but it will pass. Just do whatever you need to do to get through it.

NunoBettencourt · 11/04/2014 14:56

Also it's not recommended from the SIDS point of view to have them sleep in a different room to you until 6 months - including naps. So I very much advise the feet up and cake while baby sleeps on you option! Sounds lovely (said whilst having 2 upstairs having their nap while I still sit on my arse and eat biscuits :o )

parttimer79 · 11/04/2014 15:53

Odd as the name sounds, we also do the panties pull off to get dd to sleep detached from the boob. She went from being a great sleeper, to a nightmare back to goodish but cosleeping.
As nuno said you are advised to keep baby with you for naps until 6 months. While not everyone chooses to follow this advice it does give you a watertight excuse to sit on your arse and eat cake!

parttimer79 · 11/04/2014 15:54

Oh dear pantley not panties!! Why did it autocorrect to panties??

BertieBotts · 11/04/2014 16:15

Oh dear parttimer, unfortunate autocorrect! :)

fflonkl · 11/04/2014 19:58

At that age my DD pretty much slept on me AND fed to sleep! I spent many an afternoon last year glued on my sofa with a pack of biscuits and a bottle of water within reach, watching Wimbledon and the Tour de France. Once I got past the feeling of I-have-a-zillion-household-things-to-do I had a lovely time.

Nowadays she will only allow herself to be held quietly in my arms if she's really, really tired and whilst I'm glad that she now sleeps and naps in her cot I do miss having her sleep on me sometimes.

Oh and don't worry about other mums - I've come to realise that most mums in RL won't share sleep problems unless they know you really well or you're meeting specifically to discuss sleep issues!

NickyEds · 11/04/2014 20:20

So... cuddling DS and sittting in front of the telly it is!!! I hear the words "4 month sleep regression" and start to shake!! If sitting on my arse eating cake is as bad as it gets I should probably be thanking my lucky stars not moaning on mn!! Thanks everone

OP posts:
NickyEds · 11/04/2014 20:21

........and no pulling off of panties parttimer!!!

OP posts:
parttimer79 · 12/04/2014 19:55

Hanging my head in shame!

Cakeismymaster · 13/04/2014 12:26

What bertiebotts said in her first post.
It's only a short time in her life and will pass...I wish my 7 month old would sleep like that at night, I would put up with the hard work in the day for that in a blink!

Millyblods · 13/04/2014 12:34

I would have thought he is going through his four month growth spurt and trying to increase his milk supply.

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