12 wk old dd fights sleep and its getting worse

[gymbird]

My little girl really seems to hate going to sleep. I breastfeed her to sleep at night, which lately has gone from 1 short feed, put down and she's out for the night, to feeding her, put her down, she wakes up straight away, won't settle on her own so we start again. It can take me now up to 2 hours to get her to sleep this way (she does go through the night most nights though)and she won't be rocked cuddled etc either. In the day, she won't be put down to sleep when she is tired and gets really ratty and I end up rocking in the pushchair, or pacing the floor patting her and after 10 mins to half an hour she will sleep for about half an hour but seem tired again quite soon (if I feed her to sleep she wakes up the minute I move her). I know she's too old for CC etc, but is there any way I can help her learn to go to sleep, I spend hours trying to get her down because she's so miserable otherwise. If I try to get her to sleep before she's grumpy she refuses to go to sleep as well. Any ideas? I try to watch for her cues but it seems like this is getting harder.

First of all, some questions for you:
(a) how many hours sleep is your DD getting overnight / in total over a 24 hours period?
(b) roughly, what is your daily routine with regard to waking up, feeds, etc.? I think that sort of detail might help more experienced mums offer you some advice.

In the meantime, I'm not an expert as I have only one DS, but I wanted you to know that you are not alone in stressing over the sleep/naps issue. My own DS struggled with being put down for daytime naps until he was weaned (at a controversial 20wks). Since then he will sleep mid morning and after lunch, for various durations (but usually 30-40mn in the morning and 1.5-2 hours after lunch). However, this is starting to change (he is now 9mths), and all the way through I've found that just when you are starting to despair, they get the knack of going down; and when you think that you have it licked, they want to change their pattern!

I couldn't stomach CC for daytime naps at all (my short attempts reduced both of us to tears around the 16 wk mark), although I guess we sort of got him used to a strict 7pm bedtime from 2 wks of age (partly from letting him cry for 10mn bouts, then comforting him, then putting him down; also not talking or making eye contact at night, dressing him in "day" and "night" clothes, and introducing a bath/boobs/bed routine from the outset).

As a breastfeeding mother, I have also at times succumbed to the temptation to "boob" him to sleep, although I do find that if I do that - and successfully transfer him from tit to cot, which is not always easy - he tends to wake up screaming 45mns later (during the 'light sleep' period of the sleep cycle). So, mostly I try to feed him, then say to him "Mummy wants you to go to sleep now. I'm going to put you in your cot," etc. And then I leave him to grizzle a bit. However, if he does any proper crying, I (or DH)usually go back for a cuddle and put him down again - I personally don't think my DS will go to sleep if he works himself up into a frenzy first).

As for daytime naps, do you put him down in a darkened room? Is there a bit of household noise? Some babies need dark and quiet during the day, others seem to want to nap with some light and background noise. Do you use a grobag for naps? Do you have a song that you use as a lullaby to "cue" your DD to sleep? It sounds a bit like your baby might be getting overtired/over stimulated before naps - could you spend 10mns quietly singing and cuddling before naptime?

Whatever all the books say, babies are all individuals, and if yours doesn't conform to any textbook pattern, so be it.

Finally, whatever advice you get here, and whatever happens, rest assured that things will get better.

I'm new to this site. What is cc? It is not in the acronym list. I have similar problem with my 9 week old. Luckily he sleeps from 1 - 7 am, which i am very happy about. However he sleeps then feeds every hour from about 4 pm to 1 am. Anyway, don't want to hi jack your query so I will watch this thread for good advice and start another if I have more specific questions.

Cheers

cc is controlled crying and not for babies under 6mths or even 8mths in some peoples books.

far better apprach is the E A S Y routine by tracy hogg, follow oyu r babys signs that thye are tired and ready for sleep, or the baby whisperer plan.

gymbird, do u mean too young for cc not too old? have u a rocker, if so put her in and carry that around with you as u cook clean and multi task everything, talking to her so she knows oyur there, she'll watch u like a hawk anyway .

D'oh yeah I did mean too young not too old for controlled crying (brain seeped out of scull some months ago).
She sleeps roughly 9-11 hours at night and anywhere between 2 and 4 hours the day. She feeds every 3 hours and then goes through the night most nights. We start the day about 7ish when she grizzles in her cot, I go in say good morning and switch on her kick and play piano which will keep her ammused for a good 10 mins. Then feed her and play till 9ish when she starts to seem tired so try to get her to sleep usually in the pushchair. If she sleeps for an hour she's lovely and will play again for a bit before 10.30 feed, if she sleeps for less she is still grizzly rest of day. We go throught this play, sleep feed play cycle till 6 ish her other naps I do try to get her to sleep in her cot but have to get her to sleep walking and patting, then I try to keep things quiet and calm (bed time is 7). She is usually grumpy by now so I give her a top up then if she really wants it then bedtime routine is bath, song, feed and cot. Have tried dark light noisy quiet warm cooler blanket no blanket makes no difference as yet have tried singing usual lullaby she doesn't like to be sat down and cuddled with I have to keep moving. Once she's asleep she's fine but during the day it's the length of the naps I seem to have no control over and it's getting her to sleep at night. Havent tried gro bag for naps might give that one a go. What is hardest at night is I don't know if she won't settle because she fell asleep before she was full or just wasn't asleep enough to be put down and wants the comfort? Did that makes sense?
Thanks for tips what is EASY routine? I do put her in her boucer to watch me and thats great untill she's actually tired, then nothing seems to get her to sleep until she's over tired, then the battle begins.

Sorry if I rambled on!

Hi,
my little boy is now 16 weeks old and although he does sleep through the night I cannot get him to go to sleep using the controlled crying method. He is in a routine and before bed he has his bath then he has his feed but will not go to sleep unless we cuddle him. We have tried the controlled crying now for 4 to 5 weeks. Any advice would help
Thanks
Aleks

aleks the cc at that age is not suitable. think about itt, 4mths and he's leftto cry and all u do is opo in and out to him every 2/3/4/5 mins, its not fair to the wee man. leave it for a while til the recommeneded 6-8mths. and just follow his lead for sleep, its had and doesnt come easy but he's the baby and needs reassurance.
you will be rewared for perceiving with him in the long run using another method.

gymbird - is she too use to movement and now just associates it all the time - try to cut it down but all the time talking so she knows u are nearby

Hi,

All I can contribute is that Tracy Hogg's book, baby whisperer was a life saver. She would call this accidental parenting, meaning you are not reading your babies sleep signs correctly and that you became trapped in a routine that is not working, I suggest you get her books or go to the baby whisperer website, they have discussion forums on exactly this issue.

HTH and that you get it sorted out.

My baby was like that, would stay awake for up to 6 hours, but since I've read the book I've managed to train him how to fall asleep on his own and keep to a routine, be careful though one can become a bit ocd on the book and loose the bigger picture, but the book is a very good guideline. Even helps you analyse your babies personality type.

GOOD LUCK.

jsut cuddle him

dd3 feeds to sleep every evening and a)its lovely and b) they grow up so quickly this time will be over before you know it

make the most of him and spoil him while you can!

agree with enids words

hi aleks again i did'nt know that cc was only suitable from a certain age what other methods can i use it takes over an hour some times to get my little boy to sleep at seven and he is showing signs of tiredness i feed him at around 10.00 at night then he sleeps right through its the getting him to sleep that i have the problem

I have the same problem as gymbird with day time naps. My DS sleeps well at night (in his cot) but doesn't nap well at all. He's 17 weeks and having four short naps a day but I'm sure he is getting over tired and would benefit from longer and perhaps less naps. He has been really miserable each afternoon this week and i end up carrying him around until he is nodding off on me, and he is finally succumbing too near to bath time too. How many naps are other babies having at this age? Am i expecting too much by thinking he'd be better having a morning, lunchtime and then afternoon nap?

Bexster1 my little boy is also 17 weeks and he is the same he has a nap on a morning for about 30 mins then i put him down again at about midday again he only sleeps for 30 mins he wakes up crying i have tried alsorts to get him to go back to sleep but he has none of it i end up carring him around until fourish when he begins to get tired i will let him nap till five but if he sleeps after five he is a nightmare to put to bed at seven i have to take him on walks to keep him awake until bed time so you are not alone

Hi all, had small breakthrough! I've been really watching her for signs of fatigue such as rubbing eyes and yawning, as soon as I see them I give her a cuddle, sing a song I usually sing at bedtime, put her down in her cot, keep singing for a couple of minutes, say "sleepy time now baby girl" switch on her mobile, leave a couple of minutes, she will start to cry so I don't pick her up I just say "mummys here it's sleepy time" every couple of minutes and stroke, pat her, which won't stop her crying but at least she knows I'm there, and in ten minutes the crying gets quieter and more of a whinge and before you know it, she's asleep. I do this every time now so am hoping with consistency she won't cry after a while. Might sound really cruel to some but the thing is she cries till she's asleep no matter what I do (rock her etc), so figure she may as well learn now to go to sleep in her cot on her own, knowing Mummy is nearby. Feeding her to sleep still at night cos it's really easy again now and she feeds for half an hour and is out for the count. Now sleeping 8pm-7am, half an hour in the morning, and same again midday and afternoon. Now seems much less grumpy when awake. Yay! FYI I think it helped get her to sleep at night putting her back in her sleeping bag (since it has got a bit cooler I thought it might).
Also have bought baby whisperer book am waiting for it to arrive.

Thanks to all for advice and good luck to those with similar probs.
x