Cosleeping not working for me...

[rumtumtugger]

7.5 mo dd has coslept with me since she was born, and I bf her anywhere between 3 and 8 times per night. She has only slept longer than a 4 hour stint 5 times in her life. Each time, I have to wake up to unclip my bra and get her in the right position, then I stay awake whilst she feeds as I have to contort my legs away from her (if occasionally I fall asleep she will inevitably bite me and wake me!). Then if I am lucky enough to be able to detach myself from her and scoot to the other (cold!) side of the bed it takes me ages to fall asleep. At the moment, dd is waking every 45 mins so I often miss a chance to sleep between feeds. I'm getting between 4-6 hours of broken sleep per night and can't really contemplate coming up with a new strategy on my own I'm so sleep deprived!

I'm pretty shattered and fed up. She won't sleep in her cot and quite often won't sleep in the bed unless I'm pressed up against her.

I need help! I feel like I really have made a rod for my own back with this. Please can someone suggest any gentle ways to get her to sleep on her own (either in the cot or in the bed) or get her to go between feeds for longer?! What am I doing wrong?

You're not doing anything wrong but if you're expecting things to suddenly change (I often did), then that's unlikely. She's just doing what comes naturally.

If you're looking for gentle sleep 'training' solutions there's the No Cry book by Elizabeth Pantley. I did controlled crying myself but I know that's a hugely unpopular choice for many MNers. Good luck whatever you decide, it can feel so lonely and miserable when you're sleep deprived. You'll get there.

Hi rum no advice but you're not alone. We've co slept since illness at 4 months. It works for us but now at 7 months ds won't sleep without touching me and now he can crawl I'm having to rethink our set up completely. Advice I have been given is to bite the bullet and put him in his cot....not looking forward to that one!

I think I remember your LO arriving...did you have a thread?

OP, it took me ages to work out that if I put my son on a blanket on the sheet, I could move him around much more easily. Are you feeding with both of you on your sides? If so, no need to get out of bed to change sides. Either leave your child in the middle and sort of roll over them (without squashing!) to the other side, or roll them over you, or use blanket sliding technique.
Also took me ages to work out that I could feed from my right boob whilst on my left side and vice versa, but have quite large boobs, so this may not work for everyone.
Have no tips at all re:cots as my children haven't been fans.
My son woke every 40mins or so too, but I think I dozed a bit whilst he fed sometimes.
Daughter is only five weeks and seems to sleep better.
Do what is right for you both OP, but it may be that you are just going through a tricky patch.
Re:crawling and co-sleeping, we have bed rails on each side of the king size bed (just don't attach the hooked part that hooks around a single mattress) and it worked fine.
Lots of people said we were making a rod etc but then my son went into a single bed at 13mths voluntarily and they stopped saying it!
I have loved co-sleeping and feel sorry for those who miss out!

Sorry, HAD, not 'have' bed rails.

Thank you for your replies. Hi cakebaby - yes I had a thread on her surprise arrival 6 weeks early when we were on holiday! She's doing really well but is still approx 6 weeks developmentally delayed, so won't crawl for a little while yet: I hadn't even considered her launching herself out of bed so all your tips on bed rails are great, thank you.

Love, I will try and persevere with the NCSS book. And cat, I will try your feeding tips on the next feed! When co sleeping works, it's the best thing ever having my little teddy with me. But right now I'm dreading bedtimes.

I've just been re-reading NCSS and there is an advise for co-sleepers to put something between you and baby when you feed them, i.e. a cuddly toy, so that when you move away they still feel it and don't wake up. I don't know if it works but worth a try?