Do you think my DS is ready for night weaning. And if so, how?

[hestergraysgarden]

He is 8 months old and still breastfeeds (every three to four hours, although sometimes this is just snacking). At home, he eats fairly well, two pureed meals a day and fingerfood snacks which he mostly plays with.

He goes to nursery two mornings a week and, because he won't take a bottle, will then go about 7 hours without a breastfeed. They say he's happy and rarely cries - looking in his nursery book, it seems he eats a lot more when he's there, and he drinks lots of water. I suspect this is because he knows that he has breast on tap when he's with me

During the night he feeds every two to three hours. Full feeds. I'm going back to work in a couple of months and, for my health and sanity (not to mention the quality of said work!) it would be better if he was night weaned by the time this happens.

I first attempted to night wean when he was six months old. It was going very well: basically I timed how long the feeds lasted, and then started cutting them down by 1 minute a night. He went along with this without fussing and we were down to two feeds a night, sleeping 7pm til 6am.

Then he got ill. He's better now (still snotty and coughing, but the doctor checked him a couple of days ago and his ears, chest and throat are fine), but his sleep is creeping back to the bad old days of hourly wakings. If I give him anything less than a full feed he will fuss when I put him down and wake up crying ten minutes later. I think it's my fault as I've got him used to being fed to sleep like I did when he was tiny.

What would you do in my situation? Do you think he's ready for night weaning? If so, would you go cold turkey or cut down the feeds like I did before?

Either way, I know there will be tears. I was thinking of using the same method we used to sleep train (a cross between gradual retreat and controlled crying, giving him a cuddle if he sounded too distressed - within a couple of days he was going down without a peep).

Sorry for the rambling. I'm just interested to hear other people's experiences in the hope that something chimes...

Following with interest

I started a similar thread just below this one and there are some interesting answers if that helps at all.

My opinion might not be popular but I'd say no. I found the Kelly mom articles on night weaning interesting.

I think it's normal and expected for babies to feed and need comfort at night.

You could try soothing in other ways to see if he'll natural drop feeds but I wouldn't cold turkey night feed ps so young.

Once they are food weaned and eating well, nighttime feeds should decrease loads.

Your wakings sound more like habit than actual hunger the fact he is feeding tells me he probably needs more fulfilling foods in the day to sustain. One night feed at this age is expected nothing more imo.

do you give something just before bed? Porridge / wheetabix?

Dd 1 at 8 months was this..

6am up & feed

7am breakfast

10 am snack

12/1 (depending on nap) lunch

3pm snack

5.30 dinner

7pm porridge / wheetabix

bedtime with small feed to settle

11pm if not awake dream feed

sleep through night. If she woke up I would only offer water as there was no was she was hungry.

*no way

Thanks all for your replies - we're actually having a slightly better night so far, as he went down at seven and has just woken up now for a five minute feed. I eased him off before he was fully asleep and he's gone down without fussing :)

realitygone thank you for the breakdown, it is immensely helpful. I'll see if I can build him up to something like that over the course of the next week.

On an average day he wakes at 6am and breastfeeds. His main meals are porridge (only a few bites) and toast (plays with it) at 7am, and a puree pot and yoghurt / fruit puree for tea at 5pm (usual half a jar of each before he refuses). I give him finger food to snack on in between but he tends to play with it instead of eating any. He'll have two big breastfeeds in between breakfast and dinner, and a further breastfeed at 6.30pm, before we go into his nursery for bedtime.

I guess I could bring the puree pot and yoghurt earlier in the day (3pm?) and then do porridge again before bed.

One night feed would be amazing! I haven't slept for more than four hours at a time since he was born, and I am bloody knackered!

I did the same at about 8 months, when DD2 was eating well during the day. She was waking every 1.5 - 2 hours in the night at this point. I didn't want to leave her to cry at all, so I began by gradually reducing the feeds by a minute or so each night. Once she was only feeding for a minute or two, I decided she wasn't really hungry, so the next night I picked a time when she regularly woke and instead of offering a feed I just cuddled and rocked her. To my surprise she went back to sleep straight away and never woke at that time again! I then repeated this for the other feeds.

However, I would say that it doesn't sound like your DS is actually eating very much solid food, certainly compared to my DD at the same age. Either he is filling up on bm so is not really hungry, which could be improved by night weaning him, or he's not ready for much solid food yet, in which case he would still need a lot of breast feeds. I don't think you'll lose anything by trying to cut back during the night - you could see if he'll pick up his daytime eating then. If not, it might be better to leave it for a couple of months until he seems ready to eat more.

Thanks gracegrape - one of the main reasons I'd like to try and night wean (beyond the fact that I'm tired and rundown) is that I'm hoping it will improve his appetite for solids.

He eats really well at nursery. On those mornings he will go a 7 hour stint without breatfeeding and during that time will have two meals, a snack, and lots of water. He just doesn't seem interested when I'm around, outside the times I mentioned. I think it is because he knows he's got milk on tap, so to speak.

Bad night last night. After the 11pm feed he woke at 2am and 4am for feeds, then cried from 5am until 6am, slept for 20 mins, then cried again until I went and got him up...

He's stood up on the side of the sofa giving me the biggest, gummiest grin as I write this, though, so I can't really hold it against him

It doesn't actually sound like he is eating enough. He should be on 3 meals a day with snacks / water in between.

What meals do you give? He needs protein & dairy & carbohydrates for a healthy balanced diet which sustains him through the night.

If you don't have time for making up purees and meals yourself the ella's kitchen pouches are very good. My dd2 is very behind developmental wise and she eats these as she won't touch anything else the dietician told me they are much better than jars if not making own foods.

If he is eating at nursery I think he is playing you a little bit (yes 8 month old babies are actually quite clever) how often is dad around? Am wondering if he could take charge of meal times whilst you stear clear?

The other option of course is to cut off the breast all together

I had no pressure to night wean as I didn't go back to work til DS was 12 months but I'm pretty sure you'll find that as he eats a lot more during the day things will improve anyway.

Do you give him a dream feed before you turn in for the night? I really found this helped my DS go through the night and it doesn't 'cost' you anything in terms of sleep. I only dropped this when DS turned 1!

Actually, I've never done a dream feed as such, unless he's happened to wake up when I'm going to bed (on a good night he will have his first night waking an hour or two after I go to bed). I could try that! Do I just lift him out of his cot and feed him in his sleep when I'm on my way up to bed - is that the general idea?

As a note it should be food for fun until they are ones and milk should make up the higher percentage of calories.

I think until 9mths milk should be offered before solids.

Some babies do naturally take to eating a lot of solids but it shouldn't be concerning if a baby isn't eating much. Just keep offering a varied choice.

I know that doesn't help you OP just wanted to point it out.

Yep when you go up, we usually did it between 10 & 11 depending on weekend or weekday.

Thanks - and sorry, for some reason your earlier replies weren't showing when I last posted! Strange computer...

I do think there is an element of him 'playing' me, as you said. His food intake at nursery is very similar to what you've described. Starting from this morning I have been offering food before breast and sitting him at the table with me whenever I eat. He seems to be doing better already. DH has him in the kitchen at present, helping him to eat an Ella's Kitchen pouch, funnily enough. He's just had a bit of scrambled egg and toast and I've got some apples to stew for a snack later.

Bulldozers the issue is that in three months his day feeds will have to stop as I have to go back to work. He won't take a bottle so expressing is out of the question. I'd rather it be a gradual process, rather than a sudden shock to his system, so over the next couple of months I want to slowly reduce the breastfeeds down to his morning and evening feed, which I hope to continue after I return to work (with a dream feed if necessary).

I must disagree reality
food is for fun until they are one. there is no "should be on 3 meals at this age". and I cannot agree that Ella's pouches are better than jars or that either are comparable to something you would make yourself. you may choose to use them but it doesn't make them great and Ella's have simply cornered the market to the middle class.

I would agree that if op is just offering fruit and veg purees then they are not going to fill the baby up much. perhaps nursery is offering some yummy meals which are appealing more? (not having a go op BTW! )

my dd2 is doing really well with blw. had pancakes and fruit, lasagne and pudding and omelette today.(cooked by her grandma I'm not that keen!) she is 7mo. she still has the same amount of milk and wakes up loads so we have some way to go yet. nappies are gross though

so I'm really here for advice too!

But in 3 months he will be 11 months old whereas now he is 8 months. So although you want to plan now the reality is that you won't know where you really are at until nearer the time.

I'd try the dreamfeed. Just creep into his room with lights off or very dimmed, pick him up and put him to the breast. No talking, maybe just some gentle shushing and stroking to keep him relaxed or asleep. When he's done pop him back and sneak out.

Wow...

I did the dreamfeed last night. He actually woke up at 10pm, so I went in, gave him a cuddle and put him back down. He cried for a few minutes but settled by himself very quickly.

At 10:30pm, I crept in, did the dreamfeed, sort of dubious about whether he would actually feed as he was by this time deep asleep again.

He did a massive feed, all without waking up, so I popped him back in his cot and got into bed, expecting him to be awake again in a couple of hours...

HE SLEPT UNTIL 5:30!!!!!

And guess what I'm doing now? Waiting for HIM to wake up - at 7:10am.

I still feel like I've stepped into the Twilight Zone (this is the most sleep I've had in 8 months and I'm a bit dizzy on it) and am hoping against hope that it isn't a strange fluke.

Nothing more articulate to say for the time being. I'm just basking :)

poo

If you read my post again. I said that my daughters dietician said the pouches are better than the jars, specifically speaking about MY daughter. My dd is 15 months with severe developmental delay, late weaning and several other issues.

So the pouches are the ones with the most stuff in that she needs. They taste more like 'actual food' are a smoother consistency and work for my dd. So yes for her they are great because that all she will eat and it is her only source of food. I would love her to eat the delicious meals I make for the rest of the family from a cost point of view especially however that's not how its worked out

Oh..and I am nowhere near middle class so I find you quite offensive with that statement. Maybe before you start shooting people down and being offensive you should consider the other persons situation?

hester

really pleased it has worked out with the dream feed. Long may it continue