Just so upset.
I've posted before about DS who was born 10 weeks ago. From the get-go he was a crap feeder and sleeper and would wake himself up screaming in pain. You can physically see the spasms when his tummy is exposed. He screams as be can't get the farts out and it takes up to an hour for each and poos are his Everest.
After much discussion with the HV, she thought he had reflux (was vomiting a lot too) so we switched formulas to aptamil anti-reflux and used dr brown bottles.
Vomiting stopped but STILL in ago y after EVERY feed. It's obviously worse at night (peaks at 2am) as he's lying down and everything is slower at not, but he screams during the day too-until he farts.
After posting here, someone suggested that he may have a cows milk protein allergy. At this stage, I'll consider anything so off I went to the GP.
Talk about your all time horrific experiences.
Full disclosure:I have severe PND and have been under the care of the mental health team since he was 2 weeks old. I've never had mental health problems before and-without wanting to offend-I'm not the "type". I'm incredibly rational, organised and usual have my shit together so it came as a surprise to me. I know it can affect anyone (case and point) but I really didn't expect it.
My notes at the GP refer to the CPN involvement so, as I was explaining DS's symptoms, all she did was look at my notes. When I asked for a hypoallergenic formula to try (anything at this stage is worth a shot-we've tried everything else-new formula, exercises, sleeping propped up, smaller feeds, larger feeds, new bottles, new teats...) she told me it was "just colic" and that I'm just looking for it to be something when it's nothing (but phrased a little more tactfully) before printing off Wikipedia's entry on colic for me to take home to read.
She then agreed to try the formula for two weeks as it "would give me reassurance" but then-get this-said she didn't know which one to prescribe and I needed to come back on Tuesday so she could consult the HV.
I'm tired of being told I just have a "difficult" baby.
I'm tired if being dismissed as An over the top first time mum
I'm so upset that my diagnosis of PND means that my boy's pain is just seen as a manifestation of my apparent unhappiness and inability to cope.
I'm sorry they can't see him as he writhes in agony pretty much all night.
Most of all, I'm sick of just being treated like something g you find on the bottom of your shoe. Prior to the baby, I'd seen a dr precisely 6 times in the last 5 years.
I'm not a hypochondriac. I am not looking for answers for my "colicky" baby. I am looking for support in an extremely trying time. Is it wrong to want to exhaust all options? Surely this is better than pumping him full of drugs?
You may be a dr but I have a phd too (albeit in a completely pointless field) I'm not a hysterical mum getting off on the "drama" of having a sickly baby-I want to do everything
I can to make him happy and comfortable.
Do I try and distract him when he has an episode? No, I leave my 10 week old to cry it out. Don't suppose you want to come round tonight and hold the dummy in his mouth between 2-7 while the poor soul bites down, writhes, screams and clenches and spasms?
Oh, your kids all had colic, so you know what it is? Cracking. Excuse me while I go any get my second opinion, condescending cow.
Sorry to rant but I am so angry. Had I gone in asking for drugs for my anxiety or to help me sleep, they would have thrown them at me, but ask for help in settling a truly miserable baby? Apparently I can go and fuck right off.