Fucking GP can fuck right off-condescending cow.

[Inapickle123]

Just so upset.

I've posted before about DS who was born 10 weeks ago. From the get-go he was a crap feeder and sleeper and would wake himself up screaming in pain. You can physically see the spasms when his tummy is exposed. He screams as be can't get the farts out and it takes up to an hour for each and poos are his Everest.

After much discussion with the HV, she thought he had reflux (was vomiting a lot too) so we switched formulas to aptamil anti-reflux and used dr brown bottles.

Vomiting stopped but STILL in ago y after EVERY feed. It's obviously worse at night (peaks at 2am) as he's lying down and everything is slower at not, but he screams during the day too-until he farts.

After posting here, someone suggested that he may have a cows milk protein allergy. At this stage, I'll consider anything so off I went to the GP.

Talk about your all time horrific experiences.

Full disclosure:I have severe PND and have been under the care of the mental health team since he was 2 weeks old. I've never had mental health problems before and-without wanting to offend-I'm not the "type". I'm incredibly rational, organised and usual have my shit together so it came as a surprise to me. I know it can affect anyone (case and point) but I really didn't expect it.

My notes at the GP refer to the CPN involvement so, as I was explaining DS's symptoms, all she did was look at my notes. When I asked for a hypoallergenic formula to try (anything at this stage is worth a shot-we've tried everything else-new formula, exercises, sleeping propped up, smaller feeds, larger feeds, new bottles, new teats...) she told me it was "just colic" and that I'm just looking for it to be something when it's nothing (but phrased a little more tactfully) before printing off Wikipedia's entry on colic for me to take home to read.

She then agreed to try the formula for two weeks as it "would give me reassurance" but then-get this-said she didn't know which one to prescribe and I needed to come back on Tuesday so she could consult the HV.

I'm tired of being told I just have a "difficult" baby.

I'm tired if being dismissed as An over the top first time mum

I'm so upset that my diagnosis of PND means that my boy's pain is just seen as a manifestation of my apparent unhappiness and inability to cope.

I'm sorry they can't see him as he writhes in agony pretty much all night.

Most of all, I'm sick of just being treated like something g you find on the bottom of your shoe. Prior to the baby, I'd seen a dr precisely 6 times in the last 5 years.

I'm not a hypochondriac. I am not looking for answers for my "colicky" baby. I am looking for support in an extremely trying time. Is it wrong to want to exhaust all options? Surely this is better than pumping him full of drugs?

You may be a dr but I have a phd too (albeit in a completely pointless field) I'm not a hysterical mum getting off on the "drama" of having a sickly baby-I want to do everything
I can to make him happy and comfortable.

Do I try and distract him when he has an episode? No, I leave my 10 week old to cry it out. Don't suppose you want to come round tonight and hold the dummy in his mouth between 2-7 while the poor soul bites down, writhes, screams and clenches and spasms?

Oh, your kids all had colic, so you know what it is? Cracking. Excuse me while I go any get my second opinion, condescending cow.

Sorry to rant but I am so angry. Had I gone in asking for drugs for my anxiety or to help me sleep, they would have thrown them at me, but ask for help in settling a truly miserable baby? Apparently I can go and fuck right off.

I just wrote a huge reply and it's disappeared into the Internet stratosphere.

Thanks for the support-been a shitter of a week.

Please PM me the details of the homeopathy lady, Catbus. I'll try anything.

This sounds awful. As if reflux (or any other thigh which causes a baby pain and discomfort) is something anyone would make up!

I second the idea of filing over various episodes. Make sure you get it at different times of day and see his tummy.

As far as how to manage it goes we did:
Dummy
Elevated surfaces at all times - changing mat and Moses basket were raised with cushions
Nutramigen formula
Domperidone
Ranitidine
Infant gaviscon

We were later moved on to omeprazole when the ranitidine stopped being so effective.

For is this combination worked well.

Keep pursuing this with the HV and try to see a different GP who may know more about this incredibly common but very distressing condition

I can see both, inapickle
Have pmd you..

Go to a & e next time your DS has an attack like that. Or go to a different GP. I had sth wrong with me recently : one GP completely dismissed it, her colleague gave me the medicine that is now making me better.

I'm incredibly rational, organised and usual have my shit together so it came as a surprise to me. I know it can affect anyone (case and point) but I really didn't expect it

This is often the "type" who suffers with PND/depression. I too am organised, rational and have 'my shit together'. I suffered terrible PND, crippling in fact. A baby can take your organised rational life and tear it apart leaving you feel empty and unable to cope.

I am sorry your GP made you feel so unhappy.

Try Colief my DS had lots of issues with cramps and pain when he was little its anti colic drops that you pop straight into their milk we were also on aptimel colic & constipation formula which relieved his cramps almost the same day! Good luck

Posting at the risk of being simplistic because it sounds like your poor LO is having a really tough time. DS went through a phase of screaming in agony where you could see his belly moving and he'd constantly bring his legs up for relief. The simple solution was Infcol and moving his legs in bicycle motion. The air came out both ends and the relief was instant. I also seem to recall this coincided with discovering that his mattress was really uncomfortable for him. He'd scream blue murder in his crib then instant sleep on our bed. Once in his cotbed he improved as well.

Good luck with the mean GP!

I wrote your post 2 months ago about my Ds. The GPs were ridiculous. I also have pnd and whenever I took Ds to the dr ANXIOUS MOTHER would be displayed on the gps screen. Fortunately I have an amazing HV. She took me to the GP and demanded a paediatric referral for us. I don't know how you are with your HV, but they can be a useful ally when you're being fobbed off. Keep pestering and keep pushing. Ds was diagnosed in seconds by the paediatrician and is now on hydrolysed formular, ranitidine and infant gaviscon. Things are not perfect, but are 1000 times better.

As for your Dh he needs to help more. We had a system where when Dh came home from work he would take Ds right away. I would go for a walk/have a bath/disappear for an hour. We'd eat, then I'd go to bed at 8 and Dh would have Ds until 11pm when he would feed him, get him to sleep then put him in his cot in our room. I cannot tell you how enormously that helped. Good luck and a really hope you manage to find a supportive Dr.

OP I really feel for you. Having an unhappy baby that will not sleep is shit. Dealing with it when you yourself have had no sleep is shit. Having a unsympathetic GP makes it ever shitter.

My DD is intolerant to several things including cows milk, soya and tomato, and has fairly severe reflux. Due to GP HV et al. being shit at this kind of thing I had a year of no sleep. Then six months of shit sleep. Then I gave up on them actually helping me, told them what to prescribe her and to give it at a maximum dose, cut everything out of her diet and as if by magic, DD slept through.

She generally put on weight despite vomiting up 2/3 of every feed so they weren't bothered about being proactive. The fact I was hallucinating through lack of sleep didn't matter.

Some things I used which helped (might help you, but might not) --->

Wrap sling, kept DD upright so she had a chance not to vomit or choke on the acid reflux constantly

Limited car seat time due to making reflux worse

I bf and cut everything out of my diet but in your case MAKE them prescribe a hypoallergenic formula like neonate or nutrigimen. They don't want to because it's expensive, use the line "let's try one tin then go from there, it won't hurt him if it doesn't work but it could really help him if it doesn't" (recommended by a friend)

They try gaviscon to start with but TBH just go for the big guns of ranitidine/omeprezole. It's not ideal to give medications to a small baby but neither is it ideal for them to get no more than 30 min sleep and have a mother who is feeling like shit so try it, if it doesn't work you've lost nothing.

We who have been there understand how shit it is. Ignore GPs/HVs/random people at playgroup who say their child had colic too (I.e. They cried after 7pm once and got them up in the night). They have no idea. You will get there and it will get better.

Op I really do not want to sound unsympathetic but you said 'You have never sat from 2-7am, reinserting the dummy into your DS's mouth.

Are You sure your baby is not Hungry?

They sell soya formula in boots. Give it a go. Change doctors.

My ds is now 2 and he had silent reflux and a cows milk allergy, milk allergy was diagnosed as he wasn't putting on weight, had really bad eczema all over at only 8 weeks old.
The silent reflux was picked up when he was 6 months old when he stopped breathing and needed CPR, my ds was a baby that cried and needed a dummy but it wasn't because of the allergy it was because of the reflux.
Most baby's with an allergy to milk have a few different symptoms, ie failure to put on weight, rashes/eczema, diarrhoea.
The reasons doctors are so hesitant to put them on the prescription milks like neocate which my ds was on because they don't have as much nutrients that the others have and paediatricians would prefer children not to be on them, but if they need them then they also need to be under a dietician.

This was the exact same thing that happened to me. My second child was so irritable, screaming, projectile vomit. I was also diagnosed with PND (I think it's those that are normally organised and 'have their shit together' that do get diagnosed with it because having a baby is the opposite of how we normally are!!) and got told, and I quote, "when we are low we start thinking things that aren't true" in an extremely condescending manner. Wow, I hit the roof!!
Eventually, DS got diagnosed with milk protein intolerance and after a milk exclusion diet, he was a different child.
You sound like you're doing brilliantly! It's so hard being a mum!! Keep going with this, if you genuinely feel there is something wrong then DO NOT BACK DOWN! I am the first to defend a doctor when pushy parents are all over them but if trying it ends up saving your sanity then that's all that matters. Happy baby = happy mum.

My 3rd dc was like this - they kept saying "touch of colic" - was the most awful time of my life. Yes she slept 11-6 but did not sleep at all otherwise and screamed unless held upright with pressure against her tummy

Was acid reflux took until she was 6 months for them to take me seriously!

Not surprised you're angry op. I was told that my baby had colic at a month after we had screaming fits after every single feed, problems with wind and an acid smell. Like you I have pnd but this wasn't diagnosed at the time and I had the gp simply saying that babies cry and it was tough but I just had to get through it and hold the baby until it stopped. My dh accused me of being a helicopter parent and flapping about as well and said in not so many words that it was my fault that the baby was unsettled as I was flapping about. .which is understandable if you are getting no sleep and no help.

I don't believe in the term colic and think gp's just use it to describe a baby crying for no reason. Babies in my opinion do not just cry for nothing.

I eventually got help at my 6week check up when I said to my doctor that I was fed up with nobody taking it seriously and she prescribed zantac which stopped the acid production that was causing burning and disturbed sleep. The baby still threw up but it doesn't hurt as it's not acidic.

Your husband needs to be educated around effects of pnd. I think some people just think that the woman is a bit tired and emotional and don't take it seriously enough. You need to explain or get your health visitor explain with him there, the effects on you and how his lack of support is at best exacerbating your symptoms and at worst causing you to be further unwell. It took me until four months to get the message over to my dh as he assumed that I was just tired but since reading around the subject he's been much more supportive.

Good luck op. It is a cliché but it really does get better.

Catbus, could you pm me the homeopathist's details pls too, they may be of interest to my friend.

Thanks for the responses.

We've tried all over the counter options-I'm keeping infacol in business.

I'll speak to the HV this week and explain how frustrating I'm finding the lack of support. DS has spent the vast majority of the weekend screaming. We do get bouts of 20-30 min where he plays and chats, but as soon as the feed has "settled" he goes flipping nuts again.

Unfortunately, nights are his worst time. He picks at his feeds during the day and goes to town in the late afternoon /evenings. Great if he was sleeping through (ha!) but not so great as his digestion is so sluggish.

It's either silent reflux (we're already using aptamil anti-reflux) or an allergy of some kind. We tried infant gaviscon and he bottle refused before screaming from 4am-9pm the day after we'd stopped using it. That was a fun day.

I'm just not sure what else I can do. Should I ask for a referral
To a paediatrician? I know babies cry but if he's not hungry, been winded, changed and has had a sleep, surely he shouldn't be spending the majority of his wake/asleep time crying his eyes out?

And yes, I tried to feed him during the 5 hour scream/writhe-a-Thon but he was in such a state, he wouldn't eat. Was horrific.

Well it's 7pm-let the evening shitfest commence

7-bath
730-bottle and bed
730-1030: light writhing, straining, groaning-all while asleep.
1030-dream feed
2am-cue grunting, straining, sleep-crying, writhing-all so loud that I can hear it through ear plugs.
2-3: sit on floor putting dummy back in his mouth as he tries to push out his wind and sleep cries.
3: we're up! Offer bottle-anyone's guess how much he'll take
4:back down after 30min upright and winding after bottle.
Then it's a free for all. Sometimes he'll wake screaming 30mins later, others we get til 6ish. It's not hunger as the cry is totally different. Cue hugs, pacing, shoogling-anything to distract him.

Then the whole grumpy/sore baby cycle starts all over again at 7am.

I'm going to film the hell tonight and keep a diary of his "fussy" periods during the day; they can hardly say it's not good related when his misery coincides with EVERY feed.

Yes I would ask for a referral to a paed as they can:

• check there is no underlying health issue for this
• offer further treatments for reflux that you may not have tried, and importantly diagnose reflux if that is part of the problem
• order allergy tests for milk, or an elimination of milk as a trial and put on an appropriate alternative, either way to rule in or out CMPI as an issue
• check the baby physically
• do not have a copy of any notes about you so will purely treat the baby and how the baby presents

I would record the baby at night when you say he is at his worst, do not delete it and take it in on the device you film to show them.

My baby has CMPI and got rashes when he had cows milk formula, so I photographed them as they varied and were not permanent (oh and did once give a bottle of formula before paed appointment so they could see the skin reaction and so he projective vomited at the dr's feet = most effective!!) We had ranitidine, infant gaviscon and nutramigen lipil 2 formula as he was 9mths old. Now we buy Oatly milk or other such substitutes from the supermarkets as he is over 2.

Just to say we had to wait 17 weeks to see the paediatrician so I would not wait long to get an appointment!! They did not class it as urgent so wait we had to do. In the meantime we ended up at A+E one night as he was so bad, hence we got the initial diagnosis of reflux and infant gaviscon prescribed. A 2nd visit we got the ranitidine. If you have a children's A+E it is often the fastest way (sadly) to see a paed dr! We had to go as was sent in by out of hours due to choking issues.

My gp just gave me the ranitidine (zantac) and said to try it out and if it wasn't reflux then it wouldn't do any harm to use it for a while and if it was then it would help.
I'm not a doctor and obviously don't agree with just taking meds for the sake of it but could you not ask for this and see after a week or so if there's any difference? It takes about a week to ten days to work.

Normally I'd be against just taking something to try it out but like others have said then it might be a while before a paediatric doctor sees you and by the description of your night I'd be trying anything. Also can you get your husband to take the baby with you to the doctors? When mine was howling all night long and screaming after feeds I said to dh that he was coming to the appointment with me and gave him instructions beforehand to back me up and not just sit there agreeing with the doctor that it was colic. It sounds probably obvious but if you're both there firmly stating your case then it's harder for them to just dismiss you. Also you can ask for a second opinion and filming it is good.

Good luck op. I hope you get this sorted out so you can enjoy your baby without all this stress.

If you think it could be silent reflux then avoid the infacol at all costs! It's orange flavoured so it's really acidic, it really doesn't help babies with reflux!!
Ask if you can try infant gaviscon, DS was on this for a while and it helped a little!

Just seen this. I second the poster who said go to A & E - preferably one with a specialist paediatric A & E. If you're anywhere nearby, the Royal London has one. That's where we got the ball rolling with my eldest a few years ago. Was truly a hideous time and you have all my sympathy, OP.

so sorry OP, giving you and your little one a virtual hug

in my experience GPs are next to useless when it comes to small babies, it's just not their area of expertise. Could you maybe try to bypass your condescending cow of a GP, and try whatever you/your HV is worth a try on your own? Pretty sure you can buy various types of hypoallergenic formula without a prescription? I realise you'd have to pay for them, but at least you wouldn't have to justify yourself for trying whatever you want to try. Good luck! x

Just read your update OP, and I agree, go to A & E. I took DD in at around 6 weeks after one particularly awful night. Her symptoms were very much like your DS, and I was fobbed off by HV and GP too. We saw a Paed immediately and she was given reflux meds.

I am sorry that your DH is not supportive in doing his share of nighttime parenting. There is absolutely no reason for him to be getting 8 hours of sleep at night while you're struggling like this. If you continue with taking the entire burden of nighttime care, then your health will suffer as a result. Take him along to the Dr with you, and have this explained to him if he's being an arse about it. Even if your DH drives to work or has a job where tiredness would make him a danger to himself or others, there is no reason why he can't do the dream feed, or get up a little earlier so you can rest. You need to be trying for about 5 hours of sleep a night, even if you don't get it all in one go. And even if it means you need to go to bed at 8:00.

It is essential that you get a fairer distribution of nighttime parenting responsibilities in place ASAP. Reflux meds helped my DD enormously, but she still continued to be a crap sleeper until she was 2. You don't want a situation to develop where you are the only parent who is able to settle the baby at night, that way madness lies.

No expertise or experience (except for PND over 30 years ago!) but I want to send you a hug.

I hope you get your H to step up. Can you get anyone in your family to talk tactfully to him?

Blessings xx