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Sleep

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Original poster

toddler cot drama

34 replies

Evita · 15/03/2004 21:13

Dd is 17 months now and has been going to sleep in her cot daytime and night time pretty well since about 8 months old. She's often had a few grumbles when initially put down but always gone off. Just this last week though during the day she's seeming to be really scared by the idea of being put down in her cot. She's tired, it's the right time for a nap and she says bye bye to all her toys, the washing machine etc. (her going to bed routine!) and when I get into her room I cradle her for a moment and repeat the word 'sleep' a few times and she yawns and relaxes but then as soon as I go to put her down she clutches onto me, breathes really rapidly and starts screaming. As soon as I hold her again she nods off, then wakes the minute I move her towards the cot. I've tried just leaving her there but she stands and screams her heart out for AGES. I tried for 1.5 hours today before giving in and taking her out in the pram - she was asleep in seconds, so clearly tired. Her room is quite dark, blackout curtains, but in the daytime little bits of light creep in which has never bee a problem. She has a favourite sleeping toy. I don't know why this has started happening now and what to do about it.

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twiglett · 15/03/2004 21:19

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Original poster

Evita · 15/03/2004 21:29

I wondered about that twiglett, but up until now she totally refuses to sleep anywhere in a cot that's not in a darkened room. It seems mostly to do with her not wanting to be left on her own, which I know they all go through, but I thought we'd done that bit months and months ago! I wonder what's changed ...

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twiglett · 15/03/2004 21:33

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Original poster

Evita · 15/03/2004 21:38

Strange she doesn't do it at night though, no? And also she seems fine to be there in the morning. But I'll give it a go just in case.

Anyone else have any other ideas? Could this be a v.v.v. late separation anxiety thing?!

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bloss · 16/03/2004 03:03

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Original poster

Evita · 16/03/2004 13:19

That's a lovely idea bloss, but would never work with my little dynamo. If I'm in the room she wants OUT NOW and PLAY. I've always had to do a bit of a cuddle, drop and quick retreat. Whenever I try and soothe her or talk to her she just gets more and more fed up that I haven't got her up. She won't sleep if I'm anywhere near in fact - if she's in the pram on the bus I have to face her in the opposite direction to me otherwise she's just too distracted by my being there that she won't go off. I've never been able to co-sleep even when I've wanted to because all she'll do is play play play!

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bloss · 17/03/2004 02:31

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StripyMouse · 17/03/2004 08:37

How awful for you - it is horrible when you ahve daily screaming sessions.
Just one thought -iIs she really tired when you put her down or just needs ten mins quiet time? Why I ask is that my DD1 didn?t have a daytime nap after about 15 months -I stopped hers when it started to lead to her standing and yelling with eventual sheer exhaustion from the yelling rather than a proper rest. I tried sitting her on my knee for a quiet half hour watching a DVD and curling up with a few good books rather than actually putting her down and it worked for us. Sometimes she would doze a little but the rest and relaxation for a short while after lunch was enough to keep her happy and going through till bedtime most days. Might be worth a shot.
If she were tricky at night too then you could blame separation anxiety but seems unlikely if she is ok at nighttime - same goes for the dark argument.
Whatever you do, you have my sympathy and best wishes that you sort it out soon. Good Luck

Original poster

Evita · 17/03/2004 09:00

Thanks StripeyMouse. I think she still does need a nap as she's only just gone from 2 naps to 1. I suspect what might be happening is that she's become slightly over-tired by the time I'm trying to put her down. I mean I'm missing that moment when they're pleasantly sleepy and docile and trying to put her down when she's got her 'second wind.'

Did your dd sleep a long night? To be honest if mine did a 12 hour night I wouldn't be that worried but she generally tends to only do 10 hours, 11 if I'm lucky, so I think she still does need a daytime sleep? Also, she seems v. yawny and lethargic by mid afternoon if she hasn't had a nap at all. And positively dreadful by bed time!

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aloha · 17/03/2004 09:31

Have you tried giving her a book to 'read' in bed? Ds loves that. I'm also quite fierce about saying, Lie down it's time to sleep. But I can see it is upsetting if she's standing and screaming... I do agree with you about getting her too bed before she's too tired. After a busy active morning I tend to put ds down earlier, if we've had a laid back morning he can go later.

Original poster

Evita · 17/03/2004 20:21

aloha, I love the idea of all those kinds of things like a book to read but she's just in one of those strops where she'd just bat the book to the floor if I tried. Do you know what I mean? Yesterday and today I've soothed her the best I can but left her screaming and she's really been going loopy but only for 5 minutes then has slept for 3 hours both days! So clearly she's v. tired and I think perhaps over tired. Maybe it'll settle down as she gets more used to having just 1 dayime nap.

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Original poster

Evita · 17/03/2004 20:22

p.s. aloha, maybe I'll give her Donna Tartt's The Little Friend to read ...

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Original poster

Evita · 24/03/2004 13:21

Sorry to resurrect this one, especially as there's a couple of other similar threads going on the sleep board. But things have taken a turn for the worse. She's really literally standing screaming, shaking the cot bars, yelling for me when I put her down for her nap. I can't believe CC will work in this situation and I wonder what else to do. How long would other moms leave a baby in this state? If I go in and hold her she's still and almost asleep in my arms then jolt awake when I go to put her down, clutching onto me, crying etc. I can't not pick her up as she just stands really screeching holding her arms out for me. What to do? It's v. upsetting.

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Mum2Ela · 24/03/2004 13:34

Evita, I know its harsh, but I think they do get a bit clever at this age (mine certainly has).

I went away last weekend with DD and on Sunday night she did not want to go to sleep. She cried for ages. I left her for, perhaps, 5 minutes each time, then went in (didn't pick her up) just re-arranged her blankets (she usually sleeps in a bed but was back in a cot as we were away), left a drink of water with her, and went back out. Took about 1.5 hours (literally!) but she went to sleep eventually.

I just keep thinking about what if I had picked her up after an hour or so, how long would she cry for next time? 3 hours?

I would be inclined to ignore the fact that she is holding her arms out and lay her back down, be firm, say 'night night' and go out the room. Leave her a few minutes and if she is still in the same state go back in and do the same. When she seems like she is being a bit calmer, leave her a bit longer.

Don't know if that is CC, but its what I do with DD.

HT. x

Original poster

Evita · 24/03/2004 14:31

Thanks Mum2Ela, I can see that working at night, but in the day? So far we haven't had a problem putting her down at night, it's just been her daytime nap that's difficult. One day I did keep going in and out for 1.5 hours but then her nap time was over more or less and we had to go out. She's with dp today as I'm at work and he's ended up taking her out in the pram to sleep as he couldn't stand another hour of crying. She's knackered but doesn't want to be left.

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Mum2Ela · 24/03/2004 14:38

Yeah, I can see why it would be a problem during the day. I would suggest leaving it til later in the day, but she is obviously tired. Is she overtired perhaps? Gosh, its a hard one.

Do you put her down straight after lunch, when she is really full? Might that work?

I think, just to have some peace, I would be inclined to let her sleep in her pushchair if that is what she happy doing (and she sleeps plus you get a minute to yourself). Its not ideal, but they do go through funny phases and in a couple of weeks she may be happy in her cot again (fingers crossed!). Especially as she seems happy in her cot in the night.

Original poster

Evita · 24/03/2004 14:46

I think she may be over-tired. My problem with the pram is that I'm in a flat on 21st floor so I have to take her out to the park and walk around for the whole time she sleeps which may be 2 hours! If the weather's not too bad I can sit on a bench for a while, but I'd rather be at home with my feet up. She is having trouble with some molars coming through, do you think that might be making things worse? I really hope this doesn't go on. She's getting more and more tired each day. This morning she had dark rings under her eyes.

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misdee · 24/03/2004 14:51

is the lift not working?

dd2 sleeps anywhere which is good but i think that only happened as i moved a lot in the 1st 6months of her life. she now sleepis in a big bed as hated her cot. would a toddler bed work for your dd?

Mum2Ela · 24/03/2004 14:51

Bless her! Yep, teething I am sure is not helping. My DD hasn't had any teeth through for ages now and so we are due loads very soon .

Evita, would the pram thing work if you just put her in the and shook it slightly, not going outside, just by your front door? My DD sleeps in her pram when she is at my mums (once to twice a week) and this is what she does.

Are you dosing her up with Calpol or other paracetamol before her sleep?

Original poster

Evita · 24/03/2004 15:20

We don't have space to fit the pram in the front door area as we have a lot of steps in and out of the flat. Otherwise I'd wheel her out, then home and she could stay in the pram. But I have to dismantle the pram to get it in and out and of course then have to take dd out. Drag, innit? Oh for a garden.

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Original poster

Evita · 24/03/2004 15:21

misdee, not sure about a toddler bed. She's a real wriggler at night and I think she'd keep falling out in her sleep! I don't think it's generally a bed problem, I think it's a being left problem. What I don't understand is why it started as she's been fine about going to sleep for so long.

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mandalay · 24/03/2004 15:26

Evita if you are still there, I'm going through exactly the same thing. My DD started yesterday. She went down for a morning nap as usual..no problems but when it was time for her lunchtime nap, 3 hrs later she was standing up in her cot screaming, all the things you described.

It's absolutely awful. She didn't sleep at all after that until her bedtime but she was fine then. Again today, she has been screaming during her day time naps. I'm so confused as it's come on so sudden. She has been sleeping like an angel since she was 6 weeks old.

I don't understand and I'm very confused. Help!

Original poster

Evita · 24/03/2004 15:32

Yes, same here, v. confused. It's been on and off with dd now for about a week or two. How old is yours?

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mandalay · 24/03/2004 15:46

She's 11 months now. Has it got worse or better during the 2 weeks?

Original poster

Evita · 24/03/2004 15:52

It seemed to change in that she still screamed when put down but didn't cling on quite so hard and stopped crying after 5 mins at most, lay down and had a good sleep. But the last 2 days it's suddenly got MUCH worse. Today, as I said, dp gave up and took her out in the pram. She'd been crying for almost an hour. She's NEVER done this sort of thing before.

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