my 11 wk old dd2 only sleeps in her pushchair. HELP!

[jeanini]

my 11 wk old dd2 only sleeps in her pushchair and it has to be a bit raised. im worried that she will never sleep in her cot or that its doing damage to her spine.

she has been diagnosed as having reflux but more of the silent reflux rather than projectile sick. ive changed her milk to enfamil a r and she hasnt been sick since. touch wood.

she used to fuss and constantly throw her arms and legs around in her moses basket and didnt seem to be settled at all. we didnt know what to do so we put her in her rocking chair at first and she seemed to like it she went to sleep better. i slept on the settee with her in front of me. not ideal but i just wanted some sleep.

then me and dh decided to try her in her pushchair instead at night as it was the only thing she would sleep in other than the rocking chair.

she settled and slept much better. we do still try her in her cot in the daytime but even if she is nearly dropping off in her pushchair and i move her into her cot she immediately wakes up and doesnt like it. waving her arms and legs around spitting dummy out constantly etc..

then we took her out and put her in the pushchair where she fell asleep almost straight away.

what can i do? im feeling like an awful mum for her not sleeping in her cot. my ds1 has always been a good sleeper.

forgot to mention ive only got a two bed bungalow and so she hasnt got her own room.
i put ds1 in his own room from 6 wks and i do think this helps as you dont hear every noise they make and you can get some sleep.

so she is in her pushchair in the living room at night. i was on the settee with her near me but now im in my bedroom with the moniter on.

help please. xxx
sorry if message long.

Hi Jeanini. I can empathise with what you are going through. My DD also suffers from silent reflux, as well as being milk intolerant, but it took us until she was 4 months to realise about the CMP intolerance, and 5 months to realise about the reflux, so you are already doing better than we did! At this stage I wouldn't worry too much about where she is sleeping, as long as she is sleeping! I know that it's bad to sleep in a car seat as the baby has no room to move at all, but at least in a pushchair she can wriggle about a little if she wants to.

Some tips for you to help her to sleep in her cot though...

Elevate the cot at the head end. You can do this with books, towels, or some blocks of wood - anything you can find as long as it is stable.

Make sure that she hasn't eaten just before going to bed, and keep her upright for half an hour or more after each feed.

Swaddle her - I can't recommend this one enough for all young babies who struggle with sleep, regardless of the reflux problem. She may appear to fight against it at first, but it almost always helps, as flailing limbs can mean that they disturb themselves. We swaddled our DD until a couple of weeks ago when she was virtually 6 months.

Finally, please don't beat yourself up and think that you're a bad mum. It's always really hard when your baby doesn't sleep, and we all just have to do what we can to get by!

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Hi there, we had this early on in that our new dd (now 15 weeks) would not drop off in anuything but her car seat!! I must say i was worried about her back and the HV did say it can slow down the back muscle growth so I persevered and she does go in her moses basket now (although we have fallen into the trap of her actually falling asleep in our arms first).
However, you cannot win them all and our own sanity can take precedent at this early stage.

hi thanks for everyones comments really helpfull

i tried her in her cot night before last and she did take a while to settle then she went asleep from about 9pm-3.30am i couldnt believe it.

but she didnt settle after that and i felt awful the next day as i hadnt had enough sleep. i hadnt got to sleep till midnight because of a tummy upset. typical!

we had elavated the cot slighty with a book and also a pillow under the mattress. i also wrapped a folded up towel under the bottom sheet and put it round her like she was in a nest i think it helped her feel more secure.

so because we were so tired i put her back in her pushchair the next night and she slept almost immediately when i put her in there after 7.30pmish feed. she slept till 4.30am and after feeding slept again to 8.30am.

i know she sleeps better and for longer in her pushchair so do i still persevere with the cot or just leave her where she prefers?

im just worried that say in a couple of months when i want her in the cot she wont because she is so used to the pushchair.

any suggestions? xxxxx

Cot! persevere, whats hard now, will be even harder if you leave it longer! Totally agree with CSWS about the swaddling, keep up with that and she'll get used to it, and then when she's 10lbs get her a baby sleeping bag/grobag, marvellous inventions, so well done for last night for the bit of sleep you did get and good luck

Hi
DD has silent reflux and used to hate going into her cot even when on the enfamil ar. I raised the cot by putting books under one end and she prefered it a lot. I would continue with the cot and maybe try swaddling her aswell as she may be flapping about from feeling to exposed aswell as the reflux as even without the being sick they still get a bit of the reflux iykwim.

I bought miracle blanket from Mothercare on Thursday as my ds (6 weeks) has become increasingly difficult to settle in cot - he was fine when he was a little bit less alert after coming back from hospital but as he's woken up is (as a lot of newborns are) more clingy and cuddly - you put him down in the cot, he screams, you pick him up - he's fine !! He suffers from bad wind and I have to be careful that I recognise what is being uncomfortable and what is just wanting me (he screams still when you pick him up if uncomfortable and is inconsolable)...I swaddled him last night and put him down in his cot in the evening - I sat in the room reading my book to see what happened. He didn't like it for the first minute or so - I then gave him a dummy to settle him and he went off quicker than previous nights when he's been hysterical if you put him in there and we've eventually given in after much cuddling and patting and taken him downstairs in his grobag to do the evening sleep in a moses basket with us. When we did his 10/10.30 feed he whinged a bit and then slept til 4am (he's never done that) and then til 6.45am (done that only in early days). May have just been fluke but I wonder if the if he's feeling more secure in the swaddling....we'll see - I was skeptical about how a piece of stretchy material could work but he seems to settle much quicker and be easier to calm. I also put two rolled up towels either side of him and when he wouldn't completely settle, pulled them together with my arm whilst stroking his cheek so he felt enclosed- he gently went into sleep.....
This may not last of course, but I do think the swaddling has helped a little bit....Good luck
PS if anyone can help me with the swaddling question - would be much appreciated - see post - thanks)

Get the cot mobile ifyou have one, if not, get something like it, and put it on/over the pram for a week or so - along with a familiar blanket.

then, try putting these familiar items in the cot when you put baby in there, swaddled or with two bolsters either side for comfort so that tere is something recognisable.

I believe you can also get wedge shaped mattresses which might help with the reflux issue.