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Mid Morning Nap (Ha Ha!!)

22 replies

LastChance · 14/03/2004 20:08

I'm new to this site and I think its fantastic! Just what I needed to find right now. Forgive me if it takes me a while to understand the lingo (ie, dd and ds???).

Anyway, my 4 month old has, for the last two weeks, decided to wake up screaming in his light sleep at lunchtimes. I've tried the baby whisperer method (i.e. pick up put down) which works until the next light sleep time when the same thing happens all over again! I've tried leaving to cry for 10 - 20 minutes to no avail. Today I left for 25 minutes then picked him up and no sooner had I got downstairs he started up again. Left him for another 20 minutes....you know the score. Anything for a quiet life...

So, basically, he's a contented little baby (yup - a GF baby). Is it cos he's got a cold? I don't think so else wouldn't he wake up every 45 minutes from 7pm to 7am? This he doesn't do. He sleeps right through at night time!

I just cannot understand what's wrong at lunchtime!

Any clues?

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Evita · 14/03/2004 20:48

Does he have other sleeps too? I'm guessing if he's a GF baby he also has a morning nap. Is that one ok? It may well be something to do with his cold. Dd always sleeps worse in the day with a cold, but not necessarily worse at night.

LastChance · 14/03/2004 20:53

Thanks Evita.

He does have his morning nap. I only give him about 40 minutes though so that he's not awake when I wake him (if that makes sense?). He also still has an afternoon nap of between 15 - 30 minutes but I think this is happening because his lunchtime nap is so bad.

When I do wake him from sleeping he's perfectly happy to gurgle away for 10 minutes before I then go in and get him up which makes me think that its not comfort he wants.

Its actually getting me quite down as he was such a contented little soul before this blasted cold. Would a vaporizer in the room help do you think?

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celandine · 14/03/2004 20:54

Hi there, my sympathies to you. It could well be his cold. My 7 month old ds 'usually' sleeps well at his lunchtime nap and I followed Gina Ford too. I do find that when he has a cold (like now for example) his sleep is much more unsettled. The problem seems to be that because his nose is blocked up, when he stirs in his light sleep it makes it difficult for him to peacefully drop off again.

Personally, I would be reluctant to leave ds crying if he has a cold or is unwell at all, and perhaps 4 months is a little young for leaving crying anyway cos I don't think they can learn from it at that age. IME it doesn't do any harm to break habits for a few days and let your baby take the lead.

Saying that, it could also be just a phase. Ds has had many phases in the past (usually just a few days) when he just wakes early from lunchtime nap and won't resettle, or I had to somehow get him to drift back off using dummy/rock/soothing/controlled crying. Sometimes I'm successful and he might sleep for a further hour or so (hoorah!) or, as is the case lately, he won't resettle and I have to get him up early. I've learned not to be concerned about this as he can always catch up later in the day.

Perhaps you could just bear with him for a few days, at least until his cold has gone,and then things might fall back into place.

Hope this helps.

LastChance · 15/03/2004 10:06

Thanks Celandine. You're right. It probably is his cold (and it's been a rather nasty one). I think he's over the worst now as he slept right through the night without wanting a cuddle at 2:30am. It's the first time he's really truly slept right through from his 10:30pm feed. In fact, it was ME who woke up thinking....what's going on....why am I not doing something right now....That was at 5:30 am.

Anyway, I'm going to see what he does today and basically follow his lead. If it means I have to settle him every 45 minutes then so be it...I guess.

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LastChance · 16/03/2004 13:19

Thank you to everyone who helped me out here. I think I've found the solution.

I have installed a Boots Vaporizer and tilted his cot up. He's sleeping like a baby (just like he used to.)

WAHOO!

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Evita · 16/03/2004 13:21

Good for you! And him!

LastChance · 20/03/2004 13:29

OKAY. So it worked for a day or two. Now he's screaming his head off and I'm at the end of my tether! He screams his head off even if I hold him. Yesterday's 2 hour lunch time nap lasted 40 minutes! Arrrrrrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh! What can I do to get him to settle on his own after his first "light sleep" in the afternoons. I'm desperate. Makes me want to quit and leave home right now!

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LastChance · 20/03/2004 14:12

Me again.

It's odd, I think. He screams and screams, like I said, even when I pick him up. I've just sat with him for ten minutes in another room and all he did was claw at my top. (A baby's way of punching one's fist perhaps?). He'd calmed down (ie, not screaming) so I took him back to his room and placed him in his cot....screamed again. Picked him up and just stood there shhhhing still to no avail. Moved out of the room and tried to look him in the eye....he refused by turning his head in the opposite direction.

Eventually I did get him to look at me and what did he do......? He grinned from ear to ear! Cheeky littly tyke! I could've screamed and kissed him all at the same time (rest assured I did do the latter).

So, any tips out there.....is it possible he's going through a growth spurt or something (he's 14 weeks old...today).

Am I doing something wrong?

He's now in his cot gurgling quite happily to himself and has been for 10 minutes. This I don't have a problem with. Even him settling initially at all daytime naps is no problem....ie awake when put in cot. Squirms for 5 minutes max then nods off.

Some mum out there must know of something I can do to get the lunchtime nap working again.

Thanks.

PS. Not so desperate now....not since he smiled so beautifully at me!

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karen99 · 20/03/2004 14:45

They get you every time with that smile, don't they?!?!

How is his cold? Do you think he might have a pain somewhere, eg. headache, which a dose of calpol could help ease? I know when my ds was teething he would really notice the pain when he came into a light sleep and the only thing that helped him through it was a dose of calpol (we normally only give it to him before he goes to bed when teething (if he's desperate) but I must admit I did give him a dose before a nap on occasion when they were breaking through the gum) Seemed to help.

Even if he has 45 over lunch, will he go down again in the afternoon? (or does he have one already?) Does he sleep for more than 45 in the afternoon?

Sorry I can't give much more advice other than doping him up (sounds awful!)!

LastChance · 20/03/2004 15:06

He still has his cold in that he has snuffles but it is much better. As he's a GF baby he has a short nap in the afternoons. He'll nod off at about 4:45. GF says he must be awake from 5pm if he's to go down well at 7pm....and, to be honest, I'm frightened of letting him sleep too long after that time. If he sleeps well at lunchtime he generally nods off and wakes up all on his own after 15-20 minutes anyway. I'd love for him to have longer in the afternoons but I can't get him to sleep much before 4:45.

Maybe I should let him sleep this afternoon until he decides to wake up?

Tomorrow I might try calpol. He does, when I pick him up have the occasional wind so maybe that's what's waking him? (However, it's not all the time). Oh crumbs!

My dh is away this weekend and I really don't want to try anything new without him there to calm me down if it all goes wrong. I'm quite anxious (sp?) about all this baby lark - first time and all.

Have wondered whether to switch to the Baby Whisperer method. Anyone else doing E.A.S.Y. out there? Thoughts please.

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LastChance · 20/03/2004 17:17

Update.

Well, he has just this minute woken up after a 30 minute nap. Now.....let's see if he doesn't go down well at 7pm eh??? Fingers crossed.

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aloha · 20/03/2004 18:03

I'm sure it is just a phase. If he won't settle, why not call it quits and go downstairs/out to do something nice. While I agree that naptime is a lifesaver, I think the struggling to force something that's just not happening is more depressing than anything. And remember, his sleeping so well at night is really great. I'm sure he will sleep longer eventually.

futurity · 20/03/2004 18:24

This same thing happened to my DS from about 7 weeks until he was a few weeks into weaning. He was breastfed so, following GF, he would have his feed about 10am I think. Then he went down for nap around 11.30-12 and when he stired after 40 mins he figured he was hungry again and wouldn't go back to sleep. Of course it is easy to realise this now in reflection (DS is now 2) but at the time I had no idea what was going on. I changed my routine to adapt to him having 40 min naps through the day but after weaning had started and he was having lunch he started sleeping longer at lunchtime.

My friends 2nd DS is bottlefed and he also wakes early from his nap so I don't think it is a breastfeeding/hunger issue in particular. I just figure that some babies aren't ready to sleep longer once they realise that there is too much life going on and they want to join in (hence his big beaming smile when he saw you!). I have no "solution" as such ..I just wanted to reasure you that this is VERY common as I wish someone had told me when I was going through it with DS!

twiglett · 20/03/2004 18:51

message withdrawn

kiwisbird · 20/03/2004 18:59

teething too possibly my dd was very odd would sleep ok at night but was horrid during day when teething

LastChance · 20/03/2004 19:53

Thank you all for your thoughts and ideas. This evening he didn't go down well at 7pm ......cos he had wind! Little wretch! He falls asleep on me....cons me into thinking he wants to sleep. Yawns his head off....I put him down and not 2 seconds later he's crying. Felt guilty as soon as I picked him up cos he burped big time (right in my ear too!!!)

I find it all quite amusing now I've calmed down a bit.

I think it may also be he wants more grub other than milk. Isn't he too young though to start weaning?

Anyway, I digress.

I'll try shorter naps during the day until he tells me what it is I'm supposed to be letting him do and then I'll take it from there.

Twiglett.....I am beginning to agree with you! All I seem to do is panic if things don't go according to GF. However, if it hadn't been for her book I'd be a wretched wreck by now being comletely manipulated by someone who's not been on this earth for 5 minutes!

I am my ds's line manager (as my dh puts it).....I just need to be a bit more flexible.

Ho hum. Will try and let you all know what happens!

Thanks again....its good to know there's someone out there who's experienced the same or similar....a great comfort.

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marsup · 23/03/2004 17:08

Lastchance, I'm so glad someone else has a similar problem! My DS (12 wks) won't nap at all - that is, he has occasionally done a daytime nap in his basket in the last few days and he used to nap in our arms but now screams if we try to walk him to sleep the way we used to. He naps in his wilkinet. Not in pram. Once I didn get him to sleep in his basket (20 mins calming) and he woke 30 mins later and I couldn't calm him again. Difference with yours is he doesn't sleep straight through at night. Do you think solids could help, even this early? (nb we are trying formula at late-night feed, doesn't change anything as far as I can see but it's early days).

LastChance · 24/03/2004 09:38

marsup.

I was completely at the end of my tether over the weekend with ds not napping more than 45 minutes at lunchtime then, as my dh was home, on Monday we took ds out when he was due for his nap. (He always sleeps a little in the car at least .... and I could also feel a little more human!!)

IT also appeared that he was a little constipated (having not "been" for over 48 hours) and we had to help him out there before we took him out. Tht situation probably wasn't helping him be comfortable). I have also taken out the vaporizer (as I think his cold is better and the smell could have been upsetting him).

Anyway, yesterday he slept for 2 hours at lunchtime with hardly a murmer. I had decided to use the Baby Whisperers method of calming and getting ds to sleep on his own. I only had to pick up/put down twice yesterday. Seems to be working so far and she also is very good at telling you how to "listen" to your baby. I would truly recommend the book.

Oh yeah! And I sat there with the monitor glued to my ear with everything crossed for 2 hours praying like blazes everytime he muttered in his sleep that he wouldn't wake up. This, therefore, did not allow me to cook my lunch which might also have been a factor (i.e. smells wafting etc).

If I were you I would try and persever with your ds even if it means you having to watch him for a few days and calm him down when he's stressed but at the same time encourage him to be independent and to fall asleep on his own in his own cot in his own room. In the long run you'll be glad you did.

Hope this helps? Is your ds a potential GF?

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LastChance · 24/03/2004 09:48

marsup...me again.

I've just re-read your message and realised I haven't answered your question at all.

Firstly, which formula are you using? My ds is on Cow & Gate Step 2 (for hungrier babies) as Step 1 wasn't really satisfying him.

I would try and stay away from solids until at least four months only because of the fact about enzymes needed in order to digest solids properly not being present in babies under 4 months....however, I would check this out with your health visitor though....professional advice on these matters is best I think.

One other thing.....decide what you are going to do and stick to it no matter what (i.e. ds will sleep in his cot at all nap times.... I will sing the same thing to him everytime he is woken from a nap/sleep etc). Predictability is the key I think.

Let me know how you get on.

Is this your first baby?

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marsup · 25/03/2004 17:40

Thanks for answering, Lastchance. Yes, he is my first baby. I am b/feeding but we have been trying Cow and Gate 2 in the evenings just recently, in the hopes that he'd sleep longer (he seems to sleep longer on on my b/milk so far!).

Today he has stopped napping in his cot at all. I sat with him 30 minutes stroking his head and holding his legs to stop him kicking, he dropped off and I came out of his room, sat down and he woke up again.

We have bought black-out curtain liners, he has a dummy, and we swaddle him (all these have been introduced in the last few weeks). We;ve also been trying a cd of white noise. I can sometimes get him to sleep if I walk him, but only for a long time and by jogging him up and down increasingly violently (it used to work gently), which scares me because I get an urge to make really violent movements (the only thing that calms him). We don't have a car but when we've tried outings in one he screamed. He stays awake in his pram and looks around. So the only thing that works is his wilkinet, which is not great 3 times a day for hours on end when it rains and also my back has been bad since I was 8 months pregnant. AT least with less walking around I only have tendonitis in one wrist now! This sounds like I'm exaggerating but honestly I'm not...

karen99 · 26/03/2004 10:02

Hi Marsup, do other sounds in the house help soothe him, eg. a song on the radio or the washing machine? Can you leave the radio on in his room?

Once they get so overtired it is a battle to get them to go to sleep again. I found consistency really helped, set a time for the start of your day, eg. 6am and then try to settle him 2hrs after waking. He will be tired, so swaddle him, put him in the cot and try and stay out of his view if you need to hold his legs. We found tucking a sheet across him and securing with towels on either side (between the rails and the matress) helped keep the legs down too. If he wakes after a few mins leave him for 5mins and listen to his cry. If it gets hysterical then go back in, but if it's just grumbling then leave him a bit longer and see what happens. It will take a few naps for him to get used to it. I then started each day at the same time which helped cos you knew when the naps times should be.(I must admit we didn't try leaving to settle until recently, but will do it much earlier with babe no2. when he/she comes along!)

HTH Let us know how you're getting on.

LastChance · 05/04/2004 13:55

HI marsup...

Sorry, I've been out of the loop for a while due to life events taking over. My ds has only started napping better at lunchtime yesterday and tomorrow.

I think I was confusing him by trying settling using the baby whisperers method mixed in with GF.

Anyway, after two weeks of "reading" my ds and "listening" to him and NOTHING changing I decided to go back to GFs timings. He's out like a light. I understand him better but my ds needs to be kinda calm (i.e. grizzling a little) and put in his cot. Three minutes later he's asleep.

Today he's grizzled at the usual times during his nap but he's still asleep now.

Anyway, what I'm saying is I agree with karen99. Consistency is the key. Pick a way that suits you (i.e. not walking, jiggling, carrying all the time) and stick it out.

Let me know how you get on.

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