Does it really all get easier after about 12 weeks?

[dibley30]

Can I have some positive stories please that despite the chaos and exhaustion of the first weeks of a newborns life (ie clingy baby, hard to put down to sleep/nap lots of crying, windy etc etc) that things get better.
After pacing around for 3 hours in the night trying to get my ds back off to sleep after his 2am feed, I am dreading going to bed to have a re-run tonight. No amount of swaying, cuddling, shushing and patting will assist. Any tips on how to get through the next few weeks and retain my sanity.
I've found the dummy option although that doesn't come without its downsides (spitting out every 5 minutes tonight and then screaming when he loses it!! - I thought I'd found a solution...)I eventually got him to lie down calm with dummy last night and I lay down too...but couldn't sleep as I had to then be dummy monitor. I ended up reading my book in the bed next to the moses basket from 3 - 5.30am !
I'm off to bed in a minute so that at least I might have a stab at a few hours sleep before the fun begins and I'll leave the 10.30 feed to the hubby.
Thanks!!

It does get easier eventually. BAbies as young as yours apparently can't learn "bad habits" yet, so I would do whatever makes your life easier to get him to sleep, whether that is cuddling, feeding, sling etc.

All babies are different, and many just cant go off to sleep if you just put them down. Its not necessarily something you may or may not be doing right. Ride with it, make the most of the cuddles (easy to say I know since Im not the one getting up at 3am in the morning!), try and relax. It WILL get better eventually. I promise

Oh you poor thing!
Quick question....what is ds like at going back to sleep during the day?

I had a very clingy colicky dd - couldn't sleep alone for the first 2 months so we co-slept & the sling was my best friend. She used to scream & cry in the evenings - it was very hard as DH works a lot of nights and evenings.

By 12 weeks she was a model baby - down by 8pm, dream feed at 10pm and slept through to 7am. She's been a really good sleeper ever since. Should a give you a bit of hope!!

One useful word - swaddle, swaddle, swaddle (so useful I thought I'd repeat it 3 times ).

Um, it's on and off really.

He usually wakes (if gone off) at 5.30 - 6am - I then try after feeding him to put him back for a while.

This morning he napped a bit and then I brought him downstairs and he nodded off and on. I usually try to get him to sleep a bit after waking before his 10/10/30 feed (that is sometimes earlier if he's woken more like 5.30ish)

I took him to a friends in the buggy at about 11.45 and he went to sleep in 15 mins with a bit of fussing and was gone for 2 and a half hours and then woke up for his feed. He then slept again in the buggy at 3.45 on the way the doctors for about 45 mins...Once he's gone to sleep he hardly ever wakes up again later - he just fights sleep. Usually I try to go somewhere at lunchtime either buggy or car so that it gets him off and I can then go for lunch with friends to save my sanity and by the time he gets where I'm going, he'll stay asleep.

One big plus point is that he will lie for about 25 -30 mins in the morning in his bouncy chair happily taking it all in before fussing ( I can usually grab cereal and a cup of tea at this stage) and I always put him on a rug on the floor or in his playgym after his 2am feed and he will gurgle and look around for 30 mins tops. That makes me feel quite positive that he will do this all alone !

He's 6 weeks old on Saturday....

Yes, it really does. Not "easy", but definitely "easier". I think the only way to retain sanity in the first weeks is to take it one minute, one hour, one day at a time. Try not to think in terms of weeks stretching out ahead of you or you really will lose it.

On the swaddle front - ever since he was in the hospital (I had an extended stay) - he hated having his arms swaddled. I tried swaddling him in a stretchy cotton blanket the other day and he became hysterical trying to get his hands out - I did read somewhere though that this can be a normal reaction and that with some perseverance they get used to it - is that right ? I might try to get one of those miracle blankets from mothercare - I have to go there tomorrow..... I keep seeing the swaddle advice but have convinced myself it won't work ! Silly really til I try it. He is a REAL fidget and can very easily startle himself back if we do get him off to sleep by certain cuddling/patting comforting means ! So it would seem like a very sensible option. Has anyone else experienced a baby who seemingly didn't like his arms swaddled but then accepted it ?

PS ...i didn't really think this parenting lark would be easy....you don't realise how hard it is though do you until you try it !

Awww he's only a wee one at 6 weeks. It IS exhausting and tiring, but it does improve.

FWIW my two both hated swaddling but one went down for naps and night sleeps pretty well from 8 weeks and the other was absolute crap at sleeping right from day 0.

I have heard from many mums that slings are really really helpful (for daytime more than night).

ANyhoo - sounds to me like you are doing really well. I dont think you need to do any more than you are doing. Although maybe get DH to give you a night off by feeding him when he wakes?

Dd used to fight her way out of swaddling if it wasn't firm.

God, 6 weeks was a really low point - sleep deprivation kicked in and everyone had said it'd be getting better by then and it just WASN'T. I found a book called "baby bliss" by Harvey Karp very good for the colicky behaviour.

How much help are you getting?

Oh yes dibley - DD didn't actually seem to like swaddling, but it was the only way that either of us got any sleep until a couple of weeks ago.

We had some other probs preventing sleep here, so don't let my name put you off!!

DS never liked being swaddled but slept much better when swaddled, so we kept it up until he could escape. And he was very good at getting out of most swaddling so we had to use the Miracle Blanket.

Harvey Karp deserves all the money he is presumably making. I recommend his DVDs as they are easier to follow than the books.

6 weeks is also growth spurt time isnt it?

Oh poor you and poor little ds-I amsure he is pretty puzzled himslef-God I'm gettign broody despite remembering all the sleepless nights.

Some great advice here-I am a great advocate of swaddling ho my lo hated it after 3 weeks.

I took dd to a cranial osteopath as she was v colicky/windy etc and was VERY sceptical.Kept going three weeks and definitely saw an improvement and she then taught me exercises to do at home.
Am not suggesting anything is wrong,for me it was really more a point of ruling out that there was anything wrong ie I had a normal baby and babies don't sleep too much at one time.Fortunately for me,it helped.

Hang in there though-it does get easier....promise.

Just wanted to let you know that I'm going through the same and DS2 is 7wks today. Have stopped swaddling him as he was becoming hysterical and last night he went in the cot in his gro-bag. Still had the same problems, fighting sleep and then waking at 12, 3am and then 5am. Am so tired but am holding onto the hope that by 12wks he might sleep longer than 5hrs. What makes it worse is that DS1 slept through from 5wks I know some mums might think me cruel but I have had to just put him down and walk away as he becomes so overtireed that no amount of rocking, etc will calm him. He cries for about 5mins - ish and really peaks at a point but then he goes off. I know he's fed, winded and warm enough so I try and stay strong, it also helps having a 2yr old to distract you from the noise. I also tried the dummy but like you I found I was putting it back in every 5mins, I really don't know how those things are meant to work if you have to keep popping it back into their mouths.
Anyway, just wanted you to know you are not alone. It is hard work but it's worth it.

Don't worry, I've done the same and walked away and left him to cry for a few minutes when he cries even when being picked up and comforted- we all need a rest from it sometimes. I went to bed at 9pm last night (dh did 10/10.30 feed) after he was pretty fussy all evening downstairs in the moses basked (dummy in - husband on dummy duty !) - I heard him stir at 2am so instead of letting him cry out and fully wake up - did a bit of a "dream feed" and popped him back again after a small burp. He woke again at 5.30am and then fell asleep on top of the bed where I was feeding him so I left him there until 7.45 and got a few more zzzzz's myself. He's now fallen asleep again after a top up feed (and after a bit of windy wailing after his feed) in the vibrating chair next to me on the sofa. A bit of peace so time to put the washing on, surf the net and have a nice cup of tea ! I really do feel better this morning for having had a bit more sleep last night - I'd even lined the DVD's up downstairs for a bit of middle of the night viewing when I anticipated another re-run of the night befores antics !!

Dibley30 - Am new to this talk lark so hope i get it right! Have a lovely little man who is now nearly 12 weeks, and although still tough, yes it is better! I also had a really low point at 6/7 weeks and thought I was not equiped in any way shape or form to be a mother. However, due to very hot weather and a 3 storey house, my husband and I had moved to spare room and put little man in his room at 5 weeks. We moved him into his own cot at 7 weeks as I had had enough of the constant fight and grunting with the wind and swaddle and he liked it much more - he is gradually growing out of his shock reflex and doesn't wake himself up so much bashing his arms against the moses basket. The other thing I tried is to establish a bit more of a night time routine about 8 weeks - young i know but he seems to like it. Now feeding 3-3.5 hours during the day, then at 7pm, bed by 7.30ish, asleep usually by 8pm, sometimes 8.30pn if overtired, then dh feeds 10.30/11pm, awake again for food at 3ish then again at 6 (but on a good day 7pm). He was a smallish baby and windy, stomach capacity seems to be 4 hours max, so we are just going with it at the mo. The 6am wake is a bummer though, and i am frequently tired. However will make him stay awake for an hour, then he sleeps really well until 9.30 or so.

Sorry have realised am rambling a bit - hope you picked up my hints, but as little man still very young don't really feel in the best place to advise.

Have tried Cranial Osteopathy and Cranial Sacrotherpay, and both have worked in their way! The second having much more effect on the wind!

Oh forgot to say at about 7/8 weeks he started to smile and become playful and this has just increased over the last 4 weeks. It makes all the difference when they wake at 6am for food and you go into their room to find them smiling up at you!

I still feel desperate some times at other mums have babies that sleep through the night young ages, but have recently discovered night time is considered as from around 11pm - 5am and getting 5 hours continual sleep between these hours at 12 weeks old is all you can expect - have had to make some major expectation readjusments!!

Also we are having trouble with long morning sleeps, but very short afternoon ones so get a bit grouchy and in need of lots of attention in the afternoons. Any ideas any one? Should i shorten the morning sleeps and see if he will sleep better in the afternoon. Now seems to sleep from around 7.15/30 if up at 6, until 9.30/10.00, then from 11.15/13 to 1ish. Afternoons vary depending on what doing - i think as we go out more in arvo that sleep is disturbed more frequently - but need to have a life and get things done!!

I tend to try to get him to sleep in the morning for an hour an hour and a half until 10ish when I feed. Then try to get him off again at around 11.30 until 2pm (next feed) - the lunchtime one is generally in the buggy or car seat so that I am not a house bound hermit - My mum said that she used to do exactly the same with us (there are three children in my family) and she established good routines with us but made us very portable and flexible. In the afternoon if I can get him off any which way, I will but usually only for an hour or so - I always put him down (if at home or anyone elses) on his playmat before his sleep for as long as he'll go after his 2ish feed. He tends to kick around and be pretty content for half an hour or so before suddenly getting bored and wanting attention.... Should afternoon nap be an hour to an hour and a half and not really later than about 5ish? I'm sure all babies are different though so and people have told me that some babies just can't stay awake as long as others and you probably just have to watch for signs of tiredness !
Thanks for sharing your experience

Sounds like he is pretty well establised already and going 4 hours between feeds at 6 weeks old is amazing as far as i can tell. Are you bottle feeding? My ds is nearly 12 weeks old and we feed every 3-3.5 hours, so are still doing 7 feeds a day!! He is still under 12lb so I am not sure whether I can expect him to get much more in??!! Breastfeeding so no gauge to know how much taking on, although only feeds for 10-15mins at very best and fights me if i try to get him to take anymore! On average he sleeps for about 6.5 hours a day between 6 am and 8pm sometimes less and only for about 45mins between his 4pm feed and bedtime - does that sound about right??