Two month old only sleeps on me - desperate

[Madcat22]

My 9 week old DD only sleeps on me. She won't even co-sleep next to me in bed - it has to be on my chest with me sitting up. DH was able to put her in her basket after a bottle of expressed milk but she won't even do that anymore. She just wakes up as she is put in. We've tried hot water bottles, putting my tshirt and Breast pads in but nothing works. We don't even want to put her down awake - happy to let her fall asleep first then put her down. Don't want to CC - probably not ever, but especially so small. I'm descending into PND again after having it with DS and may have to wean her so I can take ADs (can't let PND affect my three year old or bonding with baby). This is really not helping so am desperate. Please help.

Oh madcat - that sounds so hard. No good advice but wanted to offer a hand to hold whilst up feeding 7 week old DD

I had a friend with a similar issue - age managed to get her DS into the basket by putting him in and a hand in his chest. She swaddled him tightly too. Would that be worth trying?

Hi madcat, I've got a 12 week DS who is very similar. Sometimes he will sleep next to me in the bed & occasionally in the Moses basket. Like you I have tried many (probably all) of the tricks to get him to sleep on his own. So I have no advice but want to follow the thread to see if anyone comes along with a magical answer.

Until last week I was still trying after every night feed to put him in his basket. Always unsuccessfully. I eventually decided to stop fighting it & to try and make co-sleeping work. So I put lots of pillows under my elbows for support, put DS in a sleeping bag & on top of my blanket. I have been sleeping better but I admit I would like him to sleep in his own space.

good luck

It can be so hard in the early weeks. Do you have any support so you can get a bit of a break at some point?

Have you tired lying down feeding in bed, you maybe able to get her to cosleep this way as you won't have to move her after a feed.

And if you need to take antidepressants then please do, it's unlikely you'd need to wean as many are compatible with breastfeeding. Weaning can make PND worse and its almost always better to take medication and carry on feeding. You can get more support on this hear www.breastfeedingnetwork.org.uk/drugs-in-breastmilk.html

Good luck

Hi madcat. My DS is 11 weeks old and he was exactly the same until a few weeks ago.
Have you tried putting him to sleep on his tummy? (I know it is against SID guidelines, but it's your call. Our DS had good head control at that age so I felt a bit better about it). We tried this with the help of a dummy (which we still need to hold in place to get him off) and he will stay asleep for 2-3hrs like that. Dummy falls out once he is asleep and he doesn't seem too bothered.
You have to do what's best for your health and wellbeing too :)

I don't want to scaremonger, but mine has silent reflux and we really struggled to put him down! When she sleeps on your chest, is she upright or near enough? Does she cry a lot? Like I say, I don't want to worry you, but reflux babies hate being laid down. Just a thought that might be worth investigation..
I feel your pain, hope you get it sorted soon. Tired bubbas are no fun!!

Hi,

I'm no expert in any way but my son did this and we did the following:

• propping up end of cot (my son would never settle in his Moses basket so was in cot at 3 weeks) so he wasn't flat - we just put a book under each foot
• Ewan the dream sheep - not a magic solution but once he stopped screaming as soon as I moved him from laying on me he seemed to find it it comforting and for him it's now a sleep cue
• feeding him with a blanket between his head and my arm, letting him fall asleep and then between me and dh, maneuovering him with the blanket still under his head into the cot
• lots and lots of repetition, some nights we would attempt to transfer my sleeping son from me to the cot a dozen times before he was so exhausted he stayed asleep
• giving him a comforter which he has when I feed him and in his cot only so it transfers off me with him
• giving him time - I know that's not what you want to hear but I can remember googling this exact problem at about 3am one night when I was at the end of my tether and the reassurance that babies will gain the ability to sleep away from mummy at some point...when they are ready was enough for me to regain some sanity

The other one which I have heard other people have success with is the cocoonababy - it's expensive but I've heard of several babies who make the transfer from mummy onto a cocoonababy but won't sleep elsewhere

My son did eventually stop sleeping on me at night...he still regularly sleeps on me in the day but I can live with that...really hope you can find a way to get some rest soon

Thanks very much to everyone for all their helpful comments! We will get there in the end I'm sure....

Try the swing as a last resort! Easier to wean off of as well

Are you using sleep bags? I found that DD was more likely to stay asleep on the transfer once we used sleep bags instead of trying to tuck into blankets.

I also agree with trying to BF while lying down, but I didn't get the knack of that until DD was older.

Are you doing the 'floppy arm test' before you transfer, when they have fallen asleep wait until their arm is completely floppy when you pick it up before trying to transfer to basket/bed. This shows they are in a deep stage of sleep. Sounds daft I know!

Hope things improve soon.

My ds is 2 now but I had this when he was little.

The only thing that really worked for a long time was letting him fall asleep on my chest with me upright, then me gradually slouching down and rolling over so we were eventually on our sides together. It's probably against every co sleeping rule in the book, but it worked for us at a very desperate time.

I hope you get some sleep soon, this too shall pass and all that

What's the swing please Poshers?
Remember floppy arm technique Twirlycat with DS (he also preferred to sleep on me but did go down with lots of perseverance!). I have tried it this time but probably not as much as I should. Am thinking of rooting out Ds's sleep bags too. What age are we able to put babies in them? Just worry she still might be a bit too little (although she is a fairly chunky little lady!). She slept for two hours on the bed last night after I plonked her down so I could go to the loo, never expecting her to stay asleep!! Mind you, she had some Calpol due to jabs so think probably due to that and won't happen again! Here's hoping though. Thanks for some great suggestions and support ladies.

We had the same issue and I nearly went insane, even without other DC to care for it turned out to be silent reflux, though I can't offer huge solutions as nothing we tried, from positioning to medication to dietary changes made a huge difference!

Our biggest saviour was when our paed suggested using a sling with DS's head and shoulders clear (I used our moby, though others could also work, just not a 'pouch' type) then propping myself up and using a neck pillow. It means there's less chance of the baby rolling off and I could doze. DH would also take him in the ergo for the first few hours of the night or a few hours in the morning so that I could have some deeper

Madcat - From memory I think you have to wait until they weigh 8lb or over before you can use sleep bags. We had to wait a little while with DD but when we started using them they really did help. Glad you got a couple of hours sleep out of her.

Echo the sleeping bag thought - dd wasn't awful start with but would sometimes wake back up a few times when put down in Moses after being held but this has improved (most of the time!) since using grobag. Not a miracle cure but might be worth a try.

Also Ewan has helped with settling a bit once dd is already asleep and then starts fussing. Again, no miracle solution but some improvement.