This is driving me insane!!!!!! HELP!!!!!!!!!

[mads1]

My dd is 16 months old. She goes down for her mid day naps perfectly. I put her in the cot, say night night and walk out. Not a peep from her she goes to sleep. HOWEVER!! This doesn't work in the evenings anymore. Now, she cries if i leave the room and I end up sitting with her for an hour or more until she falls asleep. Most of the time I have to keep my hand on her.
We have always had black out blinds, a good routine and have even now started to give her milk infused with camomile!
Also she wakes once a night and I have to go in and do the whole thing again! - She won't let my hubby settle her either.
As a result of this, hubby and i don't get much evening time together and haven't been out for a meal for months!!
Any suggestions PLEASE!!!!

PS We also have a white noise cd playing too. She's had this for over a year.

mads1
what time is bedtime? and how long is the day nap, at 16/18mths she may need less day sleep to still keep her night sleep consistent or else shorten the day nap and slightly delay bedtime half an hour.

there sleep requirements do change and maybe shes changing a wee bit sooner than most.

my ds now 2, has between 1 1/4 and 1 1/2 hrs in the day, i wake him , he'd sleep longer, but for him to literally conk out at 8pm thats all he is allowed. if its less , even better, he really conks. til 7.30/8am.
11 1/2hrs sleep at night is about average in my book at that age. then it'll go back to 12 when the day nap goes, like my dd who is nearly 4 and sleeps 8.30 - 8.30 even 9 (on a no school day)

She's in bed for 7.30pm. I only let her have 1h.30 - 1h.45 mins nap too. I really don't know if I should cut this down further as i have read they need at least this to mentally function in the arfo.

She also get about 11 1/2 hours sleep at night but this is disturbed by her night wake.

I have to admit - I've also resorted to medised! a few times in desperate times - shame on me.

Night light? Hmmmm?

Have you consider a night light?
it might be that when she is in bed at night it is too dark for her and she is scared?

thanks all!
We had a bad night last night. She woke up twice and at one point didn't go back to sleep for 2 hours. I am considering letting hubby have a go. We know that she is going to cry loads and i'm scared that I will therefore break her trust with me.
I am even now considering cc

Mads, your post could have been written by me... oh how I feel a kindred spirit in you!!!!
My dd is 15 months and I have tried everything, if I'm in the room she'll be happy to go to sleep but she wakes if I try to leave and if I get out successfully she wakes after an hour or so and cries, no screams blue murder. No daddy, no-one but me will do. It's a compliment but one I could do without.
I went thru a few days of cc but dd threw up every day from crying so hard it's just too traumatic for us all and we saw no improvement.

Doing gradual withdrawal at the mo, I've got to the "at the door" stage but dont know what to do now as she cries if I leave and we end up effectively doing cc!! Going to start a thread asking for help with this but I just wanted to say you are not alone!
Camomile milk, lullabye milk is one I tried too, bloody expensive and not effective. Soooo tempted by the medised trick peppaminthippo mentioned!!!!! Just for one night sleep!!!!!

Lilypie -thank god someone else knows how it feels (although i wish you didn't iykwim).

I did the cc for the first time tonight- guess what, dd was sick too . I kept going in every 5 mins and after 40 mins it went quiet. i waited 15 mins and then went in to check her. How bad do i feel now very very very and . I cleaned up as much as i could with her still asleep and then she woke. finished cleaning and thought i'd have to go thriugh it all again. BUT i put her down, said night night and left the room. She cried for like 2 secs and then went to sleep.

Now I have a ques about what to do tonight. If she wake s up and cries do I go in straight away and calm her and leave and then start the cc, or do i let her wake and cry for 5 mins before i go in?

The advice I was given was to leave it for a few minutes as your dd needs the chance to settle herself without you. If she starts to howl go in but dont lift her, just sooth her with ur voice, if possible get her to lie down, then do the cc as if its bedtime.
My problems with that were 1. I felt desperately guilty that she was probably hungry after vomiting and 2. I was knackered and emotionally overwrought. It didn't work out for me and she ended up tucked up in my bed, not a solution...

she slept through the night!!!!!

Fingers crossed it't a little easier tonight.
Also left a night light on.

That's great Mads!!!!!
Long may it last!!!!!

Let us know how tonight goes.

Hows it going Mads? My dd going from bad to worse. Had to co-sleep last night as dh is so tired and has to go to work no matter what.
All our sleep training is out the window now, theres never a good time to do it.

Lilypie. I am so sorry that it's not going well. I don't know what advice to give because it seems you have tried everything i would have already. What i can say is keep on trying though . Belive me, I know it's tough. You can and will achieve your goal in the end - just remember that! Have you thought about a sleep therapist? maybe your hv will know of someone?

Touch wood, everything with my dd is good. Like i said, the first night it took 40 mins in total plus sick!
Second night she cried for 5 mins, i went in for a min and she went quiet. Then I left and she cried for 1 min and then went to sleep - slept through again!!!
The third night (thurs) i put her down said night night and she was gone - slept through the night!
She has been like this since - except for one wake this morn at 5am. but i cuddled her for a min, put her back down and she was gone again.
So tonight we are going out for a meal at 8pm!!!! it's been over 6 months sice we've been out!
Have you thought about cc again? How many times was your dd sick with it? I had told myself on the first night that once i had started there was no going back and therefore was prepared for several nights of being sick. BUT if your dd was sick alot then do what you feel right with.
I just want to say one final thing - i promise, I was really against cc and never thought I'd have to go to such an extreme. But this is parenthood and it's not predictable AT ALL!!! Now that I have done it I can really see how it can work for some. I will never say never again!