Day time nap palaver

[papillon]

Hello everyone,

I would really appreciate any feedback about day time naps. My dd is 4.5 months old and has never been a good day time sleeper. She sleeps only short periods most of the time - 1 hour max. She did go through a phase of sleeping 2 hours in the middle of the day but that has evaporated.

I have tried sleeping with her after she wakes up but that then requires a dependence on mummy and the breast which often works but I think it creates too much of a need association for mummy. She does know how to go to sleep by herself (sometimes needs alittle encouragement especially if is going back to sleep).

We do live in a noisy place near public transport, in an apartment with wooden floors. Everyone says she should get used to it and she has to a certain extent, but she has been a very alert baby from birth. I really would like to encourage her to sleep longer - I can see she is tired - when she wakes up and does need more sleep.

I have never been able to set a routine as she does not sleep long enough to create one! I can find little info on how to improve day naps. I am not on keen at all on leaving her to cry herself back to sleep ( I like when comfort when I am crying ). Maybe I just have to wait until more self-soothing techiques kick in?

sounds like my dd....same age, same probs.... we mved house recently and she has now stared to have daytime naps. the things that have made the difference are...fresh air... she always sleeps well outside... seemed to be useul to get her into the habit for daytime sleeps was for a week or so, take her out in the pram for a walk/sleep and the park in the garden whilst i did some gardening til she woke. And, also, having thepram indoors for her to nap in, as she would never nap in her cot.... now she naps at least 4 times a day.... short hours still, but its a start. Some days she has longer ones..... its hard isnt it!

Papillon, when my dd was about 6 months old she started having trouble with daytime naps. We ended up wheeling her about in the pram every time and she'd only do 30-45 mins at a time. But gradually she changed and by 10 months she was sleeping 1.5 hours in the morning and another 1.5 hours in the afternoon. In her cot!! It was like a miracle ... I think it takes them a while to mature and sleep through the lighter periods of awakening (usually 45 mins after nodding off). You're right not to get into the pattern of helpiing her to sleep via breast etc. It's just another thing to deal with later if you rely on it now.

My DS, 11 weeks, has just decided he will not nap at all in the daytime except in his wilkinet carrier. We walked for nearly 3 hours this morning but he is still pretty wretched. THere is not much info about dealing with daytime naps in the books, I find; they all seem obsessed by getting babies to sleep through the night.

If I dare suggest a GF thing that worked for me. Put your dd down to sleep exactly two hours after she wakes up - ie if she wakes for the last time at 6am, put her down at 8am. She may look wide awake and alert, but pop her down somewhere warm and dark, give her a cuddle and a kiss, say night naight, and then shut the door, walk away and put the kettle on. If she cries, wait until you have made yourself a cup of tea before going back, if she hasn't settled by then, try resettling. If it really doesn't work, give up and try again tomorrow. My ds needs quiet and dark to sleep well. We are all different. I think that crying to sleep does not always mean distress. My ds did it like clockwork for several months - he just needed to settle himself and discharge some energy. I thought it was like when you go to bed and toss and turn and punch the pillow and say, "oh I'm so tired' before you drop off. Certainly he went to sleep and woke up very happy. Now he sings himself to sleep - I think he has to make a bit of noise. If she sleeps, wake her after 45 mins and then get her up - put her back down to sleep two hours after that again - so if went down at 8am, get her up at 8.45am and put her down again at 11am after a feed. This might work or it might not. The two hour thing was like a miracle for us when we had no routine whatsoever. It let me get dressed, make a phone call, eat breakfast. Fantastic.

My ds was a bit older than your dd when we did this, but it worked and I never thought it would. Good luck.

Sounds sensible, aloha, but why wake them up after 45 minutes?

rolymoly, the waking after 45 mins is a GF idea, the idea is that if they sleep for 45 mins in the morning they're likely to have a good long sleep after lunch. I also adopted GF's putting down to sleep after 2 hours awake with dd and it worked pretty well, actually she was always tired after 2 hours up in the morning anyway. But I never woke her after 45 mins as I always preferred to let her wake up when she was ready. She didn't usually sleep much more than that anyway.

Agree with Evita. Put down 2 hours from waking last and leave them to sleep as long as they like. Waking them after 45min discourages them not to settle when they come into their light sleep. Mine tends to wake after 45 anyway but am over the moon if he resettles and goes back for another 45. What I find really important is you do the same routine all the time. Even at this early age they understand word association. I always dim lights, put music on, change nap, cuddle, put down, get a smile out of him, kisses, say sleepy sleep time then walk out and close door. Sometimes he has a whinge if overtired but you get to know the difference between a whingy cry and distressed crys. Good luck

I put her to bed every two hours. Maybe the sleeping with her is working because she has slept afew longer sessions since Thursday. I say sleepy sleep and try maintain abit of eye contact which seems to be quite important in keeping her happy.

Although she is freaking out abit when I put her down awake, even if she has just had a feed. So I stay close and reassure her - I cannot leave her, goes against my instinct, which I am more inclined to use than doctrine.

I am into attachment parenting and do not really gel with GF techniques. Whilst from the other thread re effects of CC... that I instigated, GF sounds like a extremely considerate lovely woman who genuinely wants to help parents - but she frequently comes across with a hardline feel in her books.

I have a Dr Sears book which speaks to my inner parent language much more. I try and remember that my dd is a baby and I need to take small steps with her in partnership. It might take more time, but establishing a growing trust between us is important to me.

If you don't like GF or controlled crying, have a look at Baby Whisperer .

Nothing wrong with attachment parenting!
I do it also.

For daytime naps dd (5 months) used to go in the moses basket for a short time but sleeps for a long time ie 1.5-2hours if on me or with dh on bed (dh works nights and so is on bed during the day).
Yes, it makes it harder to do stuff but it's amazing what you can do one handed. We did the same type of parenting with ds (now 8) and it really is for such a short time. Never did any training or cc with him either and he was fine.

Go with your instinct. But never say never.

What's attachment parenting?

Extended bf, cosleeping, slinging etc.

Not really gf

Hercules, maybe we could have a thread about attached parenting. Wot do you think?
I would personally benefit from this and from my experimental dip into Mumnet so far I think there are quite afew mums / parents who would too.

Anyone else keen?

I really like much of the principles of attachment parenting. Mainly because I had babies mostly suited to this parenting-style I think. I remember first coming across attachment parenting after having DD and it made a lot of sense to me. It was nice to have experts saying what I was doing was right, as you don't get many HV's and MIL's who recommend co-sleeping and carrying your babies around 24/7.......

Good idea p.
I was doing ap with ds. I did it as it seemed right without knowing there was such a thing as ap and then I saw some web sites on the internet and thought ooh that's us. I'm very lucky as dh was brought up himself in the same way and so he couldnt imagine bringing up ds and dd the same way.

cool

should start a new thread though... have to think of a name maybe something like...

attached parenting

10/10 for originality

Go for it..
Should start off interesting discussions.

Yes, I'd be interested to hear more about it but I guess 17 months is a bit old to start now! I probably did a lot of 'attached' things anyway. I was a soft mom.

Well, I still AM a soft mom.

Evita a few of us have been chatting about Attachment Parenting here