Cosleeping

[SpanielFace]

Thinking well in advance here, as I'm only 6 weeks pregnant with DC2!

I didn't cosleep with DS. He slept in a crib in our room until he outgrew it, at about 5.5 months, when we moved him into his own room. I breastfed, and did all the night feeds myself as I couldn't express, and nearly went to pieces with sleep deprivation. He wasn't an easy baby - he had a tongue tie, was always hungry, cried a lot, took around an hour per feed then had a lot of problem with wind, and would only sleep for the first 3 months when attached to me, ideally by the nipple. The worst night that I remember was when DH found me crying on the bathroom floor at 5am, leaving DS screaming alone in the crib, because I'd been trying to put him down since 10pm and failing. I should have coslept, but I was so afraid of DH, who is a very heavy sleeper (hence the solo night feeds!), rolling on him. At around 5 months he suddenly discovered how to get to sleep by himself, and has been a good sleeper ever since, but my memory of his first few months is overshadowed by a black cloud of anxiety and sleep deprivation.

This time, I will have a 2 year old DS to look after as well, and can't go to pieces the way I did last time. So I'm thinking about options. If this baby is similar, I think cosleeping may be the sanity-saver I need. But how to do it safely? I've looked at the bed-side sleepers, are they any good? And I don't want to do it long term, maybe for the first 6-12 months at most - how on earth do you move a co-sleeping baby into a cot?

Didn't want to read and run but will be succinct as have just finished 10.30 feed with DS - now asleep in my shoulder.
I didn't co sleep with twins for obv reasons abc they were soon FF for many reasons so night feeds were shared.
DS is now 4mo and was BF til about 3 weeks ago, now totally FF - mostly for my sanity, time with twins, ability to get help. I co-slept with him when he was tiny as he would not sleep in his basket or crib. I moved into his room with him in old single bed and slept with dressing gown on, covers over my lower half and DS in bag.
Slowly I started putting him in his own bed for naps and then at night I'd try him in his bed but if he was fussy would put him in with me. Gradually he just seemed to prefer his bed. I sorted out his feed times so life got more structure and predictability and could deal with his needs and twins much easier.
I wanted to get him happy in his bed by 10 weeks and he was. And he also stopped waking in the night. Hth and good luck!

I'm currently where you were with your last DC! DD is nearly 4 weeks old and won't be put down. I've been trying since 7pm (it's now nearly midnight). From 9pm I fed her lying down so have at least been able to close my eyes if not sleep properly. Co sleeping is pretty much the only way I'm getting any sleep! I'd love to know exactly how you managed to get baby sleeping in their own bed? Luckily I can express so I'm waking DH at around 5am and getting him to feed DD an expressed bottle while I get a couple of hours sleep.

fluff I started off by trying to get him in his bed for his lunchtime nap which was because that was the easiest time for me as far as twins routine goes. I'd take him in his room, change his nappy, put him in his bag, give him a cuddle and jiggle and put him in his bed. If he was really unhappy I'd lift him and give him a cuddle again until he went to sleep. It wasn't until he was about 10wo that we worked really hard and he went in his bed at every nap and night time. It was very hard listening to him cry but I left him for 2-3 mins before going in, cuddling him and trying again. It was rough for about 2 days but after that it was suddenly easy and now he goes in his bed totally awake and sucks his thumb to go to sleep. Definitely worth it and he's so happy because he sleeps well. As am I!

Oh it helps if you time it right - obv - so watch out for sleep signals and it's usually about 2hrs after they wake.
DS is a bit sneaky as he wakes so happily in his cot I never exactly know how long he's been awake!

Co-slept out of necessity over preference here too with ds1 and occasionally ds2 (is 8 weeks). My dh is a heavy sleeper so have always put our sons on my side. Also have arms reach co-sleeper on my side so have never worried about them rolling out. I agree that trying to get them in the cot for one sleep when you are most relaxed and least tired is best. Give good feed and dose up to the eye balls, warm blanket on radiator in cot before putting in maybe and see how it goes.

I have been reading a book called understanding your baby from the Tavistock which said easing the separation for a baby is most successful when parents are confident and relaxed about the choices they are making as babies really pick up and follow your cues. I know that may seem really obvious but in the throws of sleep deprivation it is reassuring to follow your instinct and what you feel is the best choice for that point in time.

Ds2 has just started going to bed more easily after a couple of weeks of being a Velcro baby! He had easily slept in his cot then just been unable to settle. Tried not to stress about it and tried to get him down in cot when he seemed most comfy and dozy until it started working. When it didn't I just popped him next to me or slept with him on my chest .

Cosleeping 2nd time round has been a lot less stressful and more snuggly. Congratulations on pregnancy:)

Thanks for all the replies.

Fluffandnonsense, I kept feeding DS to sleep, holding him for about 20 minutes until I was sure he was deeply asleep, and then putting him down. To begin with it never worked, hence the 5am crying-in-the-bathroom, but by about 12 weeks he was going down more easily. For me, he got the hang of going in his crib at night far earlier than he did for naps. He was about 6 months before he'd nap without being in my arms or there being some motion (pram/car), but I kept trying & eventually he figured it out.

Dango that's really interesting - I was very definitely under-confident with my parenting with DS, everyone said "trust your instincts" but I never felt I had any! I used to read different books and get myself all confused. I found a Velcro-baby a complete shock - I had expected that a baby would feed every 3 hours, then sleep happily in their crib in between. I feel happier this time that at least I know what I'm letting myself in for! Do cotside sleepers actually attach to the bed? How? I've seen that the NCT hire them out for 6 months, which I'm interested in.

Twinsplusone - that's really reassuring that you were able to move DS into his own bed so early. I definitely agree with the two hour rule, I didn't know about this when DS was tiny & he used to end up desperately overtired.

We converted regular cot into side sleeper out of neccessity - went through awful spell where I could not get LO in cot asleep or awake.

So everyone has plenty room, no worries about wee one getting squashed and he's getting used to being in there. We can sometimes now get him in half asleep when resettling at night.

I figure at right time I'll put fourth side back up, then gradually move cot away from our bed.

Your next baby could be very different though and might happily go to sleep in cot from awake. They're all such different wee things. You might get an ace sleeper this time - here's hoping : )