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Original poster

HOW do I STOP co-sleeping

13 replies

Poshers · 03/02/2014 08:30

Hi

I'm sure this has been covered but HELP!

How do I actually attempt to stop co sleeping with my 10 Week old?

The only other place he will sleep is in his buggy on the move.

He won't nap without me either (not surprising)

I don't know where to start. I know I can't let him cry so how does one introduce this?

I've tried all the something smells of me, heated mattress etc .... I've also tried lying down getting him to sleep & then I leave him but low & behold WIDE AWAKE!

HELP!?! I'm frightened I'll never sleep alone again.....

Thank you x

OP posts:
CrispyCrochet · 03/02/2014 08:42

I'm interested to see what other people say as I'm currently cosleeping with my 8wo who has the same sleeping habits as your LO.

Can your little one self sooth? Ever tried putting LO down awake but sleepy (this doesn't work for me but I expect someone will suggest it!)

Original poster
Poshers · 03/02/2014 10:23

I have no idea what this "self soothe" is ... he yells until I pick him up, I've tried dummy, muslin, used breast pads!

And the whole "sleepy but not over tired" HOW??? as soon as I put him down off he yells again, sorry I'm at my wits end today. My saving grace is he does sleep well at night as he is with me. But during the day I can't even take a piss without him yelling.

Having a BAD day :((( ConfusedConfusedConfusedConfused

OP posts:
CrispyCrochet · 03/02/2014 10:45

Poshers sorry you are having a tough time of it! I think as kids get a bit older they can calm themselves down when they start crying (thumb sucking usually) but I've heard this doesn't really start until 10 weeks but sometimes much older. So for instance, he might be crying... but he finds his thumb and is able to stop himself as he finds comfort in sucking his thumb... I'm guessing your DS is not at this stage or else you would know about it.

Do you have a wrap, sling or baby carrier? This moby wrap was the best £38 I spent as I can put tired DS in there and he goes to sleep - at least this means I'm not confined to the couch with a sleeping child on my lap. Once he is bundled up in the wrap he sleeps pretty well - sometimes for a couple of hours and I am able to get housework done. Funny your comment about taking a piss - I actually went to the loo w/DS in the wrap just a few minutes ago - felt very wrong but when you gotta go - you gotta go!

I still hope some others come along and offer the magical solution to getting our DSs sleeping on their own. I keep telling myself that as he gets older it will get easier - but I guess the questions is when...

In America (IME) people are much more firm about getting their children to sleep on their own from day one. Most put their baby in the cot in their own room from day one (I guess they have different SIDS advice) but as most mums have to go back to work after 6 or 8 weeks they need to get their children into a routine & sleeping on their own much sooner (I've been feeling like there is no hurry/time pressure) so maybe we can get some American mums to tell us how they do it!!!

CatAndFiddle · 03/02/2014 10:47

I gave in and started co sleeping at 12 weeks. He is 8 months now. Still in my bed. I'm hoping I can use reason bribe him out when he is old enough to understand. Nothing I have tried works. Sorry.

Dolallytats · 03/02/2014 11:22

There's a Q and A with a sleep expert floating around MN. I think it's on the 10th and I have just posted this exact question to her.

DD was a perfect sleeper until she turned 5 months, she's now 6 months and is in my bed every night. I was too shattered to object and was worried my 5 year old would suffer with being woken up when she does (she's in with us, he has his own room but the flat is tiny!!)

Hopefully my question will be answered, but it may be worth you all posting the same, then she will see it's a common problem and we may get help!!

CrispyCrochet · 03/02/2014 11:31

Thanks Dolallytats! I'll have a look, if you can find it can you post a link?

CMOTDibbler · 03/02/2014 11:35

I'd keep co-sleeping at night (they do stop of their own accord), and in the day I'd use a sling so that you can do whatever you need to without him getting distress.

Dolallytats · 03/02/2014 11:41

I don't know how to do links (useless!!), but it's in the Mumsnet Q and A section. It was on the list of threads in Active', if that helps!!

Chacha23 · 03/02/2014 13:56

well, in my case, I co-slept pretty much since birth, but it was never meant to be a long-term solution. So from around 8 weeks I occasionally started trying to put her in her cot (right next to our bed) once she'd fallen asleep. She would always wake up and start crying, without fault.

and then one day, around the 11-12 week mark, I gave it another try, and she didn't wake up. Stayed put in her cot until she woke up a few hours later. And then she never gave me any trouble after that.

I think it was just a matter of her being ready for it? I certainly didn't do anything differently, just... one day it started working.

Original poster
Poshers · 03/02/2014 13:56

Thank you all for just listening :) GrinGrinGrin

OP posts:
badguider · 03/02/2014 14:05

How far away can you get in the bed? I started by gently rolling away until no physical contact then moving him into a side cot once asleep. He's now in cot till about 5am when it stops working and we cosleep the last two hours.

CuteLittleToes · 03/02/2014 21:10

My DS is almost 11wo and I've had the same issues. He started sleeping in his crib a few days ago and naps in a pram during the day.

What worked for me is I realised he doesn't like hard flat mattress, so I put a soft blanket on top, and make a bit of a nest. Then I put DS in with a dummy and rock the crib until he falls asleep. I rock the crib again if he starts to stir. I also put a muslin to his face as he seems to like to snuggle into it. I know this is against all guidelines against SIDS but they go a bit ott about it IMO. He can now do a 3h stretch without waking which is a massive improvement from 5 minutes!

During the day I put him into the pram and push it back and forth until he falls asleep. Once I stop and he stirs after a while I move it a bit again so that he settles. It took a few naps like this and he can sleep for 1,5h without stirring.

I would suggest just keep trying, it will work one day.

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